SHE FUCUSED ON LIFTING UP THIS WORLD'S UNDERDOGS

 1946 - 2026

I couldn't help posting my reactions to the death of Dolly Parton on August 25th. She was an amazing woman who just happened to be a country music singer, movie star and business woman. She was known for her kindness, generosity and spirituality.  She was plain "good" and "good at" what she did!  

The reason I decided to write this post was the fact that my favorite song of hers is Coat of Many Colors - the lyrics of which I am printing below. As a person from humble country roots myself, I identify with this song in particular. It brings back a very, very vivid memory from when I was probably five years old, just one of two memories of being five years old. We too were poor in 1949, but didn't realize. That summer, my mother made some home-made summer shorts for me and my brother from a worn-out pair of my father's kaki work pants. I got one leg of his old pants for my shorts and my year younger brother got the other leg for his shorts. I remember being so proud of wearing them! We had not started school yet, and everybody in Rhodelia back then was poor, so we didn't have to worry about being teased.   

COAT OF MANY COLORS

Back through the years I go wanderin' once again

Back to the seasons of my youth

I recall a box of rags that someone gave us

And how my momma put the rags to use

There were rags of many colors

But every piece was small

And I didn't have a coat

And it was way down in the fall

Momma sewed the rags together

Sewin' every piece with love

She made my coat of many colors

That I was so proud of

As she sewed, she told a story

From The Bible, she had read

About a coat of many colors

Joseph wore and then she said

"Perhaps this coat will bring you

Good luck and happiness"

And I just couldn't wait to wear it

And momma blessed it with a kiss

My coat of many colors

That my momma made for me

Made only from rags

But I wore it so proudly

Although we had no money

Oh, I was rich as I could be

In my coat of many colors

My momma made for me

So with patches on my britches

And holes in both my shoes

In my coat of many colors

I hurried off to school

Just to find the others laughing

And making fun of me

And my coat of many colors

My momma made for me

And oh I couldn't understand it

For I felt I was rich

And I told them of the love

My momma sewed in every stitch

And I told 'em all the story

Momma told me while she sewed

And how my coat of many colors

Was worth more than all their clothes

But they didn't understand it

And I tried to make them see

That one is only poor

Only if they choose to be

Now I know we had no money

But I was rich as I could be

In my coat of many colors

My momma made for me

Made just for me

Dolly Parton had several Jesus-like qualities without drawing attention to them as if they were "second-nature." She was genuine, honest, real, true, original and credible. Like Jesus in the gospels, she focused her energy and locked in on lifting up "underdogs" like herself. In her songs, she encouraged the "looked-down on" and "the left-out" and modeled for them to see that they, too, could become more than they, or anyone around them, ever expected! 

Obviously, I am not as talented as she was, and certainly not as successful, but I too came from a humble background, have always focused on underdogs like myself in my ministry, always given credit to where I came from and  continuously tried to "re-invent" myself!  In fact, that is precisely why I have always admired her for "reinventing" herself so often. I have passionately tried to "re-invent" myself several times over the years. In doing that, both of us have had to overcome doubt, criticism and the temptation to back off and give up. We have both had to muster the courage to resist the temptation to believe that "life is something that happens to you and all you can do is to make the most of it" and choose to operate rather out of the belief that "life is about creating yourself - over and over again" as long as possible!  

She was a model to me to always pray for the courage to be authentic, to be proud of where I came from, to develop imaginative ways for telling that story and to be responsible for a personal, but wise, outreach to those who need a helping hand (in my case the mission areas here in southern Kentucky, in the Caribbean, in two east African countries and my home parish.).  She lived two of my favorite Scripture passages: "Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will be in turn be measured out to you." (Luke 6:38)  "Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more." (Luke 12:48) 

May Dolly Parton rest in peace! I am convinced that God is going to be especially good to her since she was especially good to his people, especially those who lived on the margins! 

UNCHAIN YOURSELF AND LET YOURSELF GO FREE

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he refuses to listen to you and others, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.”

Matthew 18:15-20

In today's gospel, we are presented with a three-step process for resolving conflicts. First, go talk to the person face to face. If that doesn't work, take somebody with you who you both trust. If that doesn't work, go to someone in the church - maybe the pastor or deacon - and if that doesn't work, then treat them like you would a "Gentile or tax collector!" Just how would Jesus treat a Gentile or a tax collector? He would love them anyway!

I have been a priest for 56 years. I can honestly say that the most spiritual experience of my life was not the day I was ordained, not the day I said my first Mass, baptized my first baby, married my first couple, anointed my own mother before she died or presided at my first funeral. The most spiritual experience of my life was the day, 40 years ago, that I decided consciously to forgive and seek forgiveness from a close family member. I finally realized that my taking offense was just as toxic for me as his giving offense.

I read that Amazon.com lists @161,000 books on the topic of forgiveness. That’s @32,000 more than books on sexuality. What does that tell us about the human heart and what it hungers for most?

You haven’t experienced freedom unless you have experienced the freedom that comes when you let go of resentments that sear your soul, preoccupy your thoughts and drain your strength. Yet, there are so many people who hug their hurts and nurse their wounds in an all-consuming preoccupation because they cannot “let go.”

When they refuse to forgive, they choose to be “right” over being "free." Catherine Ponder said it best when she said, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

The biggest mistake people make when it comes to forgiveness is to believe that it is a favor one does for the one who has wronged them. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! It was Suzanne Somers who said it best when she said, “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”

Lewis B. Smedes said it this way: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Alan Paton pointed out, “When deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive.”

Another mistake people make when it comes to forgiveness is to believe that forgiveness is a sign of weakness and spinelessness if you don’t “stand up for yourself.” Actually, as Mohandas Gandhi pointed out, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

The refusal to forgive keeps one imprisoned in the past. Paul Boese put it this way: “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” Archbishop Desmund Tutu of South Africa said, “Without forgiveness, there is no future.” Forgiveness is basically a choice to have a future over a past.

The biggest obstacle of all to forgiveness is the belief that the one who wrongs you needs to apologize, make amends and show evidence of change. While that is certainly part of justice, it is not essential to forgiveness.

Forgiveness is most powerful when it is unilateral and unconditional. Unilateral and unconditional forgiveness is a sign of ultimate strength, because when you forgive unilaterally, you actually take charge of your situation and refuse to be someone else’s victim any longer.

One of the most useful insights on the subject of forgiveness I have ever stumbled across was one from the Nazi concentration camp survivor, Victor Frankl, in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. He wrote these deeply meaningful and truly useful words: “Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing — the ability to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

We cannot always control what happens to us or around us, but we can choose how we want to respond to it. Things do not always work out. People divorce. Employees need to be fired. Children break our hearts. Friends let us down. Parents fail at parenting. In a world where revenge, vindictiveness, reciprocation, retribution and retaliation seem to be the most typical responses, we can train ourselves to respond differently.

Today, I would also like to talk about the virtue of magnanimity, meaning to be generous in forgiving, eschewing resentment or revenge, and being unselfish and other-focused. The word comes from two Latin words: magna, meaning great, and animus, meaning soul or mind. Being magnanimous means being “big minded” or “great souled.” It has nothing to do with who is right or who is wrong. It simply means to freely choose to be “noble” regardless of who is right and who is wrong. Magnanimity is possible only for those who are not addicted to being right and who do not have a burning need to be faultless.

In life, we come face to face with unexpected circumstances, people who let us down and things that do not turn out the way we want them to be. Misunderstandings, human mistakes, bitter disappointments and shattered dreams are actually part of normal living. The more important thing to remember in those circumstances is that what happens is often not nearly as important as how we choose to react to what happens.

It takes magnanimity to go through a divorce without bitter vindictiveness and revenge. This is especially true when children are involved. In such cases, we might not be able to teach them about the permanence of marriage, but we can teach them about how to be civil, gracious and respectful with adversaries. It is as much of a gift to oneself as it is to the other, because it takes too much energy to carry a grudge.

It takes magnanimity to forgive an ungrateful child, a hurtful spouse or a hateful sibling, a former friend or a mean co-worker and treat them well without being bitter, resentful, caustic and hostile. All the time and energy it takes to nurse wounds that we would as soon not heal is ultimately self-punishing anyway. It takes magnanimity to forgive and make the first move toward reconciliation without needing to exact an apology. That is noble indeed. Taking the high road of humility is not a bad road to take for a relationship worth saving.

Let me speak directly to those of you in an abusive relationship! First, by all means get the hell out of the street and don't let yourself be run over again and again and maybe be killed! Save yourself first! You can forgive later! 

My best advice that I can leave the rest of you with today is this: pick up the phone, write an e-mail or ring a doorbell and make the first move toward reconciliation with anyone you have hurt or been hurt by. Pray over it for a while before you act. No matter the response you get, whether it is good or bad, let it go. It will be easier if you understand that you won't be doing them a favor or even God a favor, as much as you will be doing yourself a favor! Do it for your sake! Let yourself out of that prison of resentment, anger and grudges. Be free whether it is anger toward others, yourself or the Church! As Mark Twain so wisely said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHURCH CHAT #44

 

 

 

 

CALLING ALL ANCESTORS, FORMER PARISHIONERS AND FRIENDS

A PROJECT PROPOSAL

IN CELEBRATION OF ST. THERESA CEMETERY'S 200th ANNIVERSARY

1827-2027

ST. THERESA CEMETERY IS A SHORT WALK FROM THE CHURCH AS SEEN AT A RECENT FUNERAL 

In celebration of the 200th anniversary of the establishment of  St. Theresa Cemetery next year, my youngest brother, Mark, and I want to help parishioners with a project to build a permanent covered funeral pavilion in the new St. Theresa Cemetery, down in my hometown parish of St. Theresa of Avila in Rhodelia.  So that workers do not have to put up (and take down) a tent at every funeral, we hope this project will help save on some of their funeral costs.  Hopefully, it will be similar to the one pictured above in the Zachery Taylor National (Military) Cemetery here is Louisville. This project has the approval of the pastor and lay leaders of the parish.

We plan for it to be low-maintenance and conveniently located. We hope it will have a large concrete pad, permanent "park bench" type seating for families to sit (or stand) and a permanent platform for caskets with enough room for the presiding priest or deacon to stand as they lead the grave-side prayers. We plan for it to have a metal roof matching the roof on the parish Family Life Center with a wood ceiling like the one on its long porch.  

The total cost is predicted to be between $30,000 - $35,000. Since our parents, our grandparents, our uncles and aunts, our brother, sister and brothers-in-law, our neighbors, our fellow parishioners and classmates are buried there, and since my grave stone is already installed and waiting for me to be buried there, Mark and I have personally donated $5,000 each with the hope that a few others will join us in helping to fund this project. Small gifts are welcomed. If we manage to keep costs below the figures mentioned above, any excess funds will be donated to the St. Theresa Cemetery Fund which cares for both the "old" and "new' St. Theresa Cemeteries. If you are reading this blog post and are willing to help, let me know so that I can personally thank you (jrknott@bellsouth.net), but send your tax-deductible donations directly to: 

St. Theresa of Avila Church
9245 Rhodelia Road
Payneville, KY 40157

In the blank memo line on the bottom left of your check, please put:
"Cemetery Pavilion Fund"

    

 HOPEFULLY. AFTER ITS COMPLETION, A DEDICATION OF THIS "CEMETERY PAVILION" AND THE 200th ANNIVERSARY OF ST. THERESA CEMETERY WILL BE CELEBRATED SOMETIME IN 2027. IF SO, IT WILL SURELY BE ANNOUNCED IN PLENTY OF TIME FOR YOU TO ATTEND

       

 

 

SOCIAL TECHNOLOGY WITHOUT THE WISDOM TO HANDLE IT WELL

 

In a world where scrolling through memes and sharing vacation selfies has become second nature, social technology emerges as the hero of human connection. It’s not just about posting pictures of your lunch on Instagram; it’s a powerful force reshaping how people interact, collaborate, and build communities. Imagine a digital playground where friendships blossom, ideas flourish, and even your grandma can master video calls—now that’s social technology in action! All good! However, there is very little said about the responsibility (even morality) to use this technology well! 

Like all new technology, there is an upside and a downside! Yes, it certainly can bring people closer together, but it also can drive people further apart. This blog is deliberately called "An Encouraging Word" for a reason. When I started it, I decided that I did not want to condemn "evils and sins," but rather to affirm "virtue and goodness!" I can only hope that I have been somewhat successful!

One of the "social technologies" that I do not use, is Facebook! I am sure it has its upsides, but I do not use it because it seems so often to be abused by people who like to gossip, intimidate, tear down and pass on untruths without much thought about how their words will affect others! Yes, I may be wrong about the actual percentage of users who use it unwisely. If so, I stand corrected!  However, I do know that, like other social media, it has its upsides and downsides. My only suggestion is that, if you use it, use it wisely, thoughtfully and for "good" by paying close attention to the contents of the graphics at the top of this blog!  

SCOLDING GOD WHEN GOD WON'T DO THINGS YOUR WAY

         

Peter took Jesus aside and began to scold him.

Matthew 16:21-27

Up to this point in the gospel, things were going very well in the ministry of Jesus.  A mute man was able to speak. Five thousand had been fed on one day and four thousand on another. A blind man had regained his sight. A successful exorcism had been performed on a young demon-possessed girl. Another young girl had been lifted well from her sick bed. A woman with a hemorrhage had been restored to health. An insane man had been given back his sanity. A man with a withered hand had had it made healthy again. A leper had been cleansed from his leprosy. A crippled man was made able to walk. A storm was calmed. Peter was able to walk on water. A deaf man with a speech impediment was able to hear and speak plainly.

Peter was so overcome with excitement by all these things that he was moved to call Jesus the "Messiah."  He was the very first one to do this. The "Messiah" was the "promised one to come" that Jews had looked forward to for centuries, one who would do such things that I mentioned above. The lights went on for Peter! He had come to the conclusion that Jesus just had to be the "Messiah” who had finally come!

Jesus immediately took the wind out of his sails, telling him that the Messiah would not only do wondrous things, but would also have to go through great suffering, rejection by religious authorities and even death on a cross. Only then would he rise victorious from the dead after three days.

Peter did not like what he was hearing, so he took Jesus aside to scold him. "Look, Jesus, we are on a roll here! The people are behind you! Soon we will be able to conquer these foreign Roman invaders occupying our country and finally throw them out! Then you can be king and we can all be part of your royal court. Please don't blow it now with all that negative talk about suffering and death!"  

When he heard this, Jesus spun around in disgust and said to himself, "Satan said he would be back to tempt me again and here he is disguised as Peter!" Jesus then looked at all of his disciples and addressed Peter directly, "Get behind me, Satan! You are not thinking like God, but like a human being! I went through these kinds of temptations in the desert before I began my ministry! I rejected them then and I reject them now! What you, and the others, want is not what God wants from me!"

As Peter's face fell, Jesus addressed the whole crowd following him, "Now listen up, because you need to get one thing straight! If you are going to follow me, you have to be ready to suffer with me, for whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. Otherwise, if you go down the path that Peter has just proposed, you will certainly lose your life! You will not be thinking like God, but like human beings!"

Just because Jesus stood up to Peter in this story, we do not need to conclude from this story that it's never OK to scold and argue with God. The fact is that many of the major figures in the Bible and in church history argued, scolded and had words with God - people like Job, Jeremiah and Theresa of Avila. Just as Peter learned a lesson today, sometimes the only way they learned what God's will was for them was through a struggle. As any good teacher knows, encouraging, challenging, questioning, discussion and debate are the best way to learn. Like students, when disciples are allowed to think through and discover things for themselves, the best learning takes place.

The prophet, Jeremiah, in our first reading, is a case in point. Jeremiah was a very young man, maybe about some of your ages, when God called him to be a prophet and to preach in his name. God said to Jeremiah, "Hey, Jeremiah! I've had my eye on you since the moment of your conception. I choose you to go to the people and preach to them for me!" What was Jeremiah's response? "No thank you, God! I'm not interested in preaching to anybody! I'm too young! I have other things I want to do in life! Besides, I'm not good at public speaking!" God snaps back, "Do as I say and don't give me any of those lame excuses! Wherever I send you, I will be with you! And don't worry about what to say, I will put the right words into you mouth as you go along."

This wasn't the last time that Jeremiah argued with God. After he was deeply involved in his ministry as prophet and everything seemed to be going wrong, Jeremiah returns to give God a royal chewing out.  "You tricked me, O Lord, and I let myself be tricked.  When I speak in your name, I am a butt of people's jokes and mockery. I tell you what! I quit! In the words David Allen Coe, made famous by the country singer Johnny Paycheck, Jeremiah tells God, “Take this job and shove it! I ain't workin' here no more!” From now on, I am not even going to mention God's name ever again!"    

After he had unloaded his guns on God, Jeremiah must have felt better because he follows his rant with these words. "On the other hand, your words are like a fire in my heart! They are embedded in my bones! I grow tired of trying to hold them in! I guess I'll just have to keep going!"

Parishioners and guests! Many of us grew up being told that faith is about unthinking trust and acceptance of God, the Bible, the teachings of the Church and the trials of life. To question any of those things was to demonstrate a weak faith and a blasphemous heart. However, faith does not grow through unthinking submission, but through a process of questioning that leads to understanding. Just as Jacob wrestled with the angel, a real commitment to God often involves a deep, honest and sustained wrestling with God.  The only sin is never to enter the ring, but just walk away because the struggle seems to be too much trouble! The real sin is not arguing with God, but to dismiss God without ever really engaging him! If you insist on rejecting God and his Church, at least do it after an honest fight! At least, give God a chance to win!

We are challenged today to enter the ring together. We go into the ring as a tag team. Together, we wrestle with God - in here and out there. We need to put up a good fight and not wimp out just because we are lazy or scared. God will win, of course, but when the match is over, we will all know more about God and how he operates than we did when we first entered the ring.  We will have flexed spiritual muscles we never knew we had and that will help make us strong enough to handle the inevitable struggles of marriage and family life or priesthood or whatever profession we end up in!