I CAN'T HELP IT! MY ANCESTORS CAME FROM ENGLAND!

I ran across this cartoon a few weeks ago. It grabbed my attention because, being a descendant of immigrants from England to Maryland to Kentucky, I enjoy a good "Gin and Tonic" on occasion. That cartoon ultimately gave me an idea for a blog post and a chance to share my history of drinking - or the lack of it!  

First of all, we never drank alcohol in our house growing up. My Dad had a bottle of bourbon hidden in a closet to share with a cousin of his who visited from Louisville maybe once or twice a year. My uncle Bob did own a tavern a few miles away. We would stop in quite often, but I can't remember my Dad ever ordering a beer. He liked to "hang out" with neighbors and friends, chat with my uncle and talk about his lumber and building material business. 

Don't ask me why, but I asked another local tavern owner, and fellow parishioner, to be my Confirmation sponsor. I just thought both he (Edwin Lee Rhodes) and my uncle (Bob Knott) were wonderful people that I liked and admired! 

When I was in my early years of seminary, we could get "kicked out" for having a beer or any alcohol in our possession. After Vatican Council II, a lot of seminary rules changed. One of those changes was being allowed to own our own cars on campus. Another change was being allowed to go to the local taverns in the evenings since we were all over 21 by that time. The thinking was that it would be good for the staff to see how we could handle alcohol before being ordained. The second change was even more dramatic. They begin to worry about us drinking and driving back to the seminary on those country roads. Sometime during the years leading up to ordination, St. Meinrad Seminary was the first college in Indiana to get a liquor license! They opened a pizza pub on campus called "The Unstable" in one of the two gyms. It got it's name for the old barn wood and decorations that came from an old barn that lined its interior walls.  A newer version was built when that old gym was torn down. The new "Unstable" is still in existence.  

The summer before I was ordained a Deacon, and two summers before I was ordained a priest, I worked in Crater Lake National Park for the United Church of Christ as its first Catholic "student minister" preaching two ecumenical campground services each Sunday. I also served Mass each weekend. My weekday job in the main Lodge, where I lived, was Night Desk Clerk. Because I was one of the few students over 21 working in that National Park, I filled in as a part-time "wine steward" in the dining room and a part-time "bar tender" in the lodge's bar. (I was also the Master of Ceremonies for the Miss Crater Lake Beauty Pageant, but I digress! That is another whole story in itself!)   

Even with that history behind me, I don't drink a lot personally. I never have and I never drink alone. I never drink bourbon, scotch, rum, tequila or beer! I never drink bourbon because I got sick on it in college and never got over that bad experience. I used to drink wine when I attended a special dinner, but I seldom do that anymore because wine makes me groggy. When I have a choice of drinks when I go out to dinner, I usually order a gin and tonic "tall" (meaning a little gin and lots of tonic - enough to last through the whole meal).  

I am certainly not against drinking any of the above for religious reasons. I just don't really enjoy drinking alcohol all that much. However, I  do have most of the drinks mentioned above, including wine, available at my condo for guests who might enjoy a drink with dinner or maybe just when they drop in for pizza or may want a drink out on the deck! 

Here's a very short video you might enjoy about the joys of Gin and Tonics for us English men!  (Click on arrow and then open "Full Screen" to see bigger image)

Even though I gave up cigars several years ago, I would still rather have a nice cigar than a drink! Cigars are still tempting after all these years! 

Myself and some great priests on June 10, 2019 in the Diocese of Crookston, Minnesota, having an annual cigar at one of the 140 priest retreats I led during those years.  Two of those priests were students of mine at St. Meinrad Seminary (left to right #1 and #3). Both of them are pastors in the Diocese of Crookston today.  

An Indianapolis seminarian (now a priest) and myself at a "field day" celebration at St. Meinrad School of Theology and Seminary when I was on the Staff there @2013.

Now, if I could just get off my serious craving for sugar, I might live to be 100! 

 

 

SAVING YOURSELF WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE DROWNING

"THERE IS NO RESCUE PARTY OUT LOOKING FOR YOU!"

We're living through the most disorienting societal moment since World War II. Some one referred to this generation as the "Rattled Generation." Almost nobody in a position of power is explaining very adequately just why we are rattled, much less what to do about it.

You could say that I am also a victim of this chaotic government and our disoriented society, but from my own past experiences, I do have a couple of suggestions about what you can do about surviving the present chaos and disorientation in which so many seem to be drowning! 

I believe you need to have what I call "your own fire escape experience!" When I was in college, I was bashful, backward, scared and unhappy. I thought that if I could just find a way to change the world, I could become a happier more confident person. One day, on a fire escape, I remember reading something that changed my life. I realized that I had become, in the words of George Bernard Shaw, "a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world would not devote itself to making me happy!" I decided that day to "grab the bull by the horns" and do something about it even if it killed me! I decided that I needed to change me and quit waiting to be rescued by somebody else! I started doing just that and I am still working my program! 

I realized soon afterwards, in the words of Al Franken, the comedian, that "it is easier to put on slippers than it is to carpet the world." In other words, it is easier to control oneself than try to control everybody else! The realization that there was no rescue party out looking for me hit me right between the eyes. If there was to be a rescue party coming to save me, then it was up to me! I had to be that rescue party!

You control you! Those are the three most important words I can recommend to you. Say them to yourself every morning. You don't control the economy. You don't control AI. You don't control the president! You don't control the stock market or group chat! However, you DO control YOU!

You control when you wake up, what you eat, whether you exercise, whether you pray, whether you meditate, whether you take five minutes to think, what you read, watch or listen to, how you treat the person in front of you, whether you send a text, make a call, apply for the job or show up for your friend.

Every one of those is a decision. Every one of your decisions makes you a little better — or a little worse. Nobody else can make your decisions for you. So when it gets hard, control what you can control. AI can't do that for you! I can't do that for you! You can do that for yourself! That realization is quite liberating, even empowering.

You can choose where you get engaged in life and how you get engaged. Nothing can make you feel better than being with others and especially with helping them. Find people who also want to help others and throw yourselves into action. If you are truly worked up about politics, don't vent! Volunteer! Vote! Use social media to spread your smarts and your sanity. Worried about poverty? The environment? Homelessness? Decide to make a difference. You can do something, even if it's small. Don't wait till you feel like it, just go ahead and start doing it and then you will feel better! 

Not too long ago, I woke up one day thinking that there was little I could do about generational poverty, Christian/Muslim relations and immigration issues all over the world, except to feel bad and frustrated. Then an opportunity came to help finish a grade school for a Catholic Bishop in Tanzania that I was introduced to one day. He wanted to address all three of those problems in his diocese in Tanzania through offering education at a very early age by opening a new primary school for local Christian, as well as Muslim, children. All of a sudden, I realized that I could do nothing about those issues on a global scale, but I could do something to change the lives of a few children, in one small place, in one African country, on the other side of the world!

I went into action, using my blog! In a few months, I had accepted enough donations, from sharing details online about the project and its goals with enough others, to finish the school. It is scheduled to open with four of its six classrooms in July 2026 - and hopefully the other two in early 2027.

Worst case? If I failed, I realized that I would be too busy to fixate on the craziness around me that I hear about every night on the evening news. Best case? I realized that I had an opportunity to change the lives of a bunch of children I will never meet. Their lives will be changed through the education they will receive, their children's lives will be changed maybe for generations into the future, that little community will be changed for the good because the individual lives of the people living there will have been changed for the good! Through education, families will be able to escape from the cycle of generational poverty. Muslim children will remember the people who gave them an education and maybe local Christians and Muslims, at least, will live in peace with one another going forward. Then no one from that area of Tanzania will need to migrate, but can thrive right there in that community. I was right! I could change the world of a few people at least in one small spot on the other side of the world!

In conclusion, I offer a few more simple tips: live simply, monitor your intake of social media, realize that modern media is full of falsehood, anger and poor examples of success so don't believe everything you hear or read, test everything for truth, don't blindly follow the herd and, lastly, decide on the tried and true values you want to live by and stick to them regardless of what everybody else is doing! Even if you are part of "the rattled generation," you do not have to be rattled! Just change you and the way you look at things and help yourself  become "unrattled!" 

DON'T BE AFRAID

 

 

Jesus said to them: "Fear no one! Do not be afraid! Have no fear!”
Matthew 10:26-33

Last week, we heard about Jesus picking the twelve apostles from among his disciples! This week we hear some of his instructions to them as he sends them out!  We’ve got to give Jesus some credit! After calling his disciples to follow him, he certainly did not promise any of them a rose garden! In today’s gospel, part of a longer passage we are reading over several Sundays, Jesus tells his disciples “not to be afraid,” not once, but three times! He speaks about “killing the body,” not once, but twice! It is part of a longer instruction to them before he sends them out to preach and to heal! 

I don’t know about you, but if I had been there, I would have smelled a rat, big time! Who needs to get involved in that kind of bad news? I hate to admit it, but I may have run like hell! However, in spite of all the mistreatment that Jesus warns them about, he also tells them that they will be taken care of! “Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s knowledge. So don’t worry; you are worth more than many sparrows. Even the hairs of your head are numbered.” He sums up his instruction by telling them to be sure to acknowledge God before others during the best of times and the worst of times!

Faithful Catholics, as a member of his church, Jesus sends us out as well and asks us to acknowledge our faith in the best and worst of times. For the church today, these are some of the most unsettling of times we have seen for a long time, which makes acknowledging our faith very difficult on some days! These are rough times, yes, but one of the good things that has come out of this time of trial is that it has forced every Catholic to reevaluate his or her faith! 

Embarrassed, some Catholics have no doubt, thrown in the towel on the church! Even though I find that tragic, I can understand their response - and I don't find it surprising! What really surprises me is the fact that many of you are staying and are working through all of this uncertainty! You are the people who keep me going! I have said more than once, I can see that your faith is well placed. Your faith is not, nor has it ever been, in the church's messengers!  The church has always referred to you as “the faithful,” and so you are!  You have loved your priests, no matter how quirky and weak they have been, and I believe that most of you still do! That’s what makes this so painful for you: the realization that someone that you have loved so much could, in their sickness, do harm to children!  The revelation of these events has no doubt shaken some of your faith, but not destroyed it. Your faith is built on solid rock! It will stand! Jesus asks you today to acknowledge your faith to others in the best and worst of times just like he asked his original followers to do!

Jesus has sent me out, as well as you, and has asked us to acknowledge our calls in the best and worst of times! I can still remember the days right after the sexual abuse scandal broke into the open here in Louisville. I caught myself one day putting my hand over my Roman collar at a stop light so nobody could see it. I was embarrassed to be a priest! My feelings were published in America Magazine in 2002 in an article I submitted called "Collateral Damage: How One Priest Is Feeling These Days." It still saddens me to remember how I felt writing it in just about an hour on my front porch!  

In my 56 years of priestly ministry, I have also seen some great times. As a priest, I have experienced some incredibly marvelous things, things I could not have imagined being part of when I was growing up! Yes, I have a few set-backs that I thought I would not live through, but they have been so few compared to the numerous wonderful things, even incredible things! As I trudged through that sexual abuse scandal a few years ago, everything went through my mind. For the very first time, I caught myself imagining what I would do if I were not a priest! It was only momentary, but still it is significant that my mind even went there to begin with! What was shocking, even to me, is that I had even felt a twisted kind of envy, yes envy, of those who were forced out! I knew that some of my brother priests who had lost everything because of their twisted behaviors and were dismissed also experienced a great freedom: with their whole lives exposed, they were finally free of the heavy burden of other people’s expectations, something that those of you who have never been in our shoes as a public person, may not understand.  In spite of those painful days, when all was said and done and when I came to the end of a day’s worrying, I always returned to the fact that that pain was good pain! Children must be protected! Priests must be trusted and those of us who remain must, as St. Paul puts it: “Preach the gospel in season and out of season, whether convenient or inconvenient!” As for me, I am hopefully here to stay, even though I cannot say that I have always been without fear. I am trying to carry on and not be afraid. With God’s help and with the finish line in sight, fear will hopefully not overwhelm me the rest of the trip!

I served the archdiocese as the Vocation Director during the height of that scandal. When I was the local Vocation Director, what did I say to those who might feel called to priesthood? To them, I simply said this. "The church needs you now more than ever!"  To any would-be-priest, in all honesty, I would say this even today! "If you fold in face of every crisis and you collapse every time you face a set-back, you probably should think twice before getting into this way of life!" It has always taken some kind of courage to be a priest. I believe that it will take even more courage in the future. As scripture says, “My son, if you seek to serve the Lord, be ready for a battle!” As one-about-to-be-ordained seminarian was quoted in NEWSWEEK magazine a few years ago when a reporter asked him if he was hesitant about going into the priesthood, he said this. "This is the priesthood today - to suffer for things you did not do!" If he was ordained, that young man is no doubt making a fine priest somewhere! Going into it, he was obviously aware of the warning Jesus gave the first group of disciples that he sent out in today's gospel! 

I learned a long time ago that priesthood, whether it is your baptismal priesthood or my ordained priesthood, is actually healthiest when it isn’t a bed of roses! As the old saying goes, “Whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!” For me, priesthood has seldom been a bed of roses, but in my book, it has definitely been worth it! Many of you could say the same thing about being a parent. It may not have been a bed of roses every day, but it has certainly been worth it!

My friends, we live in trying times when it comes to remaining faithful Catholics. Many have simply walked away from the church. Being faithful Catholics, we are sometimes attacked and ridiculed for our fidelity. There are indeed many thorny issues dividing us, but in spite of our fear I have met so many fellow Catholics who are trying their best to hang on! They inspire me to hang in there with them! 

I once heard a great preacher compare the church today to being a gigantic egg. I have shared that story with you many times before. He said that some days we wake up and that egg is covered with small cracks - ever widening cracks! Many simply run away for the ensuing mess. Others are running around with tape and string and ladders yelling that it is falling apart and we must do something to hold it together.

That great Catholic preacher suggested, on the other hand, that when the egg starts cracking like that, we need to stand back and let it hatch! We are not dying! We are giving birth! I grew up on a farm and I know that he was right. I know that the dumbest thing you can do when an egg is about to hatch is to try to prevent it! In trying to prevent it from cracking, you can actually smother the new life that is struggling to get out!  

Sending them out, Jesus said to them: "Fear no one! Do not be afraid! Have no fear! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHURCH CHAT #33

 

FIVE MARKS OF A GROWN-UP FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT THERE YET

 

THE FIVE MARKS OF ADULTHOOD

A Bit Of Help From The Internet

from 

Robert Kegan 

1. Self-Authored Identity: At this stage, individuals are no longer bound by external expectations, societal norms, or fixed identities. They are self-authored, which means they can define their values, principles and beliefs independently.

2. Embrace of Paradox: People at this stage are comfortable with ambiguity and paradoxes. They can hold opposing viewpoints, recognizing that truth is often multifaceted. This is where the concept of the “death of the ego” comes in, as it signifies a transcendence of the ego’s need to be right or in control.

3. Broader Sense of Humanity: At this stage individuals experience a profound connection with humanity as a whole. They recognize their interdependence with others and often engage in activities that contribute to the greater good.

4. Adaptive and Agile: This stage brings a high degree of adaptability and agility. Individuals can shift their perspective based on context and have a deep understanding of the multiple roles they play in different aspects of life.

5. Continuous Growth: This stage is not an endpoint but a starting point for continuous growth. It’s a place from which individuals can navigate complexity, learn, and adapt in an ever-changing world.

THE BEATITUDES EXPLAINED

 

Unlike the Ten Commandments, which stress the things that one who loves God should not do, today’s gospel offers us a list of things that a person who loves God does do. It is important to remember here that Jesus is not saying “do these things and God will love you,” but rather “if you love God, these are the things you will do!” We do not do these things to earn God’s love, rather if we love God, we will do these things. So, what then does a serious lover of God look like?

(1) He or she is first of all “poor in spirit.”  What Jesus is talking about here is not merely economic poverty. Even the dirt poor can be greedy in their hearts. What it means, really, is the deep-down knowledge that when it comes right down to it, we own nothing and everything can be taken away from us in an instant. Every material possession, every blessing we have ever had, is a gift from God that was given to us, not to hoard, but to share. The more we have been given, the greater the responsibility we have to share.” “Poverty of spirit” is a basic knowledge that we are all poor, when it comes right down to it. As they say, “There are no pockets in shrouds!”

(2) A serious lover of God is able to mourn. One who loves God seriously knows that we are interconnected human beings and therefore never loses his or her ability to feel the suffering of others. A cold-hearted, self-centered, disinterested person is not a friend of God. A friend of God shares the compassion of Christ who was moved deeply by the horrible suffering of simple human beings and is never far from “the gift of tears,” as the saints called it.

(3) A serious lover of God is meek. A “meek” person is not a person who lets people walk over him or her. A “meek” person lives with the knowledge that he is never “a god,” but nonetheless always a “child of God.” In other words, he neither inflates his own worth on one hand, nor does he allow others to deflate his value on the other hand.  Being meek means to know who we are in God’s eyes- nothing more, but nothing less!

(4) A serious lover of God hungers and thirsts for righteousness. A serious lover of God does not dabble in religion, placing religion somewhere outside the realm of his daily living and daily choices.  Rather, he or she is a serious spiritual seeker, always trying to align his everyday life with Christian principles.  He or she strives always to close the gap between being a Christian in name and being a Christian in fact, while being totally free of religious fanaticism and doing spiritual violence to others in the name of orthodoxy.

(5) A serious lover of God is merciful. Being merciful means letting God be the judge of other people. It means giving people the benefit of the doubt, giving them a break, wishing them well on their path, knowing that with God, it isn’t over till it’s over, and with God there is always another chance. Yes, it also means living the maxim, “There but for the grace of God, go I!” Thomas Merton said, "The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all livings things, which are part of one another, and all involved in one another."

(6) A serious lover of God is clean of heart. A serious lover of God doesn’t just do good things, he or she does them for the right reason and with the purest of motives.  I tried to remind the seminarians at Saint Meinrad that it is a good thing to want to be a priest, but one must go into it for good reasons – to serve people, not for what priesthood can do for them. It is a good thing to give to the poor, but one can give to the poor, not because they love the poor, but because they will get their name in the paper or will have a building named after them. A serious lover of God always does good things, but he also does them for the right reason.

(7) A serious lover of God is a peacemaker. War is getting more and more irrelevant. We need to become as good at peacemaking as we have been at building sophisticated weapons. There will always be misunderstanding between people. One who truly loves God has the ability and the credibility to prevent disagreements from becoming a reason for violence. We need not think globally only. Families, marriages, neighborhoods, siblings and churches desperately need these peacemakers. When enough of us really love God, we will have enough peacemakers to move us closer to universal peace.  If you love God, you love his people! If you love his people, you will do what you can to bring them together.

(8) A serious lover of God will be persecuted, insulted and lied about. The brighter the light the fiercer the attack! Evil does not like goodness. Evil cannot tolerate the presence of goodness and so it attacks. One who seriously loves God is more than willing to take persecution, insults and lies, knowing that personal integrity is more important than comfort or approval.

So, the bottom line is this – you will know that you are on the path to sainthood if these "beatitudes" describe you! If these eight characteristics don't describe you, make a u-turn while you can, because you're headed in the wrong direction!