A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED

 

Four men came to Jesus came carrying a paralytic. Because the door was blocked by a crowd of people, the four men hoisted him up onto the roof, made a hole and lowered him right in front of Jesus.

Mark 2:1-12

There are many wonderful messages in the gospel story we just read, but the one detail that jumped out at me this year is not the paralyzed man himself nor the healing power of Jesus, but the role of his four friends in this miracle. Talk about determined! These guys must think a lot of their paralyzed friend because it seems there is nothing they won't do to help him! Actually, these guys are pretty funny! Let's take a closer look! 

By the time this story took place, Jesus' popularity had grown tremendously. Last week's gospel about the healing of a leper ended with these words, "It had become impossible for Jesus to enter a town openly. He remained outside in deserted places. Even at that, people kept coming to him from everywhere."

After a little time had passed, Jesus tried to slip into his home in Capernaum, but word got out quickly that he was back home and they gathered around the house where he was staying in such numbers that the door was completely blocked.

Most people carrying a paralytic through a crowd like that would have given up and told their friend that it was impossible - maybe next time - but not these guys! These guys believe in the old maxim, "where there is a will, there is a way!" So these guys drag their poor crippled friend up, on his mat, upon the roof of the house! Then they rip a hole in the roof and lower their friend, by ropes tied to his mat, until he was dangling right there in front of Jesus!

Notice the exact words the writer uses when Jesus realizes what is happening. It says that Jesus was so impressed by the faith of his four friends that he heals this paralytic.

It occurred to me, as I was reflecting on this story, just how much  friends play a role in creating miracles in our lives.  I know they have in my life!

Friendship is not just about the warm feelings we have toward certain people. If that were so, the four guys in this story would have just felt sorry for their friend. Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people.  Because of their friendship, these four guys were driven to do something, whatever it took, to help their friend. In this sense, friendship connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection and respect, along with a degree of rendering service in times of need or crisis. Friends engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. Some of the qualities of real friendship include the tendency to desire what is best for the other, sympathy and empathy, real honesty and mutual understanding.  Jesus may have defined friendship best when he said, "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." Jesus would agree that real friendship is more than just having warm feelings for another.

Real friendship involves positive action like the positive action displayed by the four guys in today's gospel. Such positive action is enshrined in the saying, "Real friends do not let friends drive drunk."  A real friend will intervene in times of crisis regardless of how badly an impaired friend might react under the situation. It's not about feelings in that moment. It's about what is actually good for the person at the time. As the Book of Proverbs (24:26) puts it, "An honest answer is the sign of true friendship." As Martin Luther King, Jr. said it this way, "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." One of the surest evidences of friendship is the ability to tell a friend a fault and having him listen with gratitude and correct the error. As one of my favorite quotes puts it, “We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t.” In other words, people who tell us what we want to hear are not necessarily our friends and those who tell us what we don’t want to hear are not necessarily our enemies. The spiritual masters traditionally call this “fraternal correction.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

NEWS ALERT, AMERICA!

WATCHING OTHERS PLAY SPORTS AND SCREAMING IN FRONT OF A TV DOES NOT QUALIFY AS A WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM!

HOWEVER, PLAYING SPORTS YOURSELF OFTEN DOES!

Over the last couple of years, I have gradually lost over 35 pounds and kept it off!  Losing it was hard, but keeping it off is much harder, especially when you grew up associating being "rewarded" with pastries, junk food and candy. I have maintained my ideal weight for well over a year by (a) watching what I eat and (b) watching TV! (The "secret" of my amazing weight-loss program will be revealed below.) I have been so successful with this program that more than a few people have asked me "Are you sick?" as if weight loss is usually equated with sickness rather than health! 

I am aware that there are a whole lot more over-weight Americans watching other people play sports than playing sports themselves! Along with that is the habit of loading up the living room with fattening snacks so as to have plenty to "reward" oneself during "scores" in the the "big game!" Instead of getting one's own fat-ass out there on a basketball court, football field, tennis court, soccer field or jogging path, they sit in front of a TV with fists full of snacks being entertained by watching other people exercise while they load on the pounds! Along with the growth of TV sports on multiple channels and the proliferation of sports bars in this country (not to mention the vast numbers of "fast food" TV commercials), there is a constant up-tick in obesity numbers! I have actually come to believe that more and more people are convinced that watching other people play sports is a sure-fire way to lose weight personally! It's a case of saying, "I like sports," as if it's the same as saying, "I like watching sports being played by other people!"

 

OK! Read no further to get the secret of my weight loss program by watching TV! I have a treadmill parked in front of my TV and I will not allow myself to turn on the TV and watch it until I am on my treadmill! I normally fast-walk two-hours every other day and one-hour on the days in between. The only short breaks I take are during snack food commercials to go to the bathroom. I weigh myself every morning and keep a tally, do not keep sweets and fatty snacks in the house and watch what I eat (and how much), especially when I am invited out for dinner. Even then, 95% of the time I say "no" to desserts, bread, pasta and fried foods. That's leaves 5% of the time for "special holidays and celebrations" when I try to skip a meal in advance and make choices of what I do eat and how much of it! The secret here is to stop before you feel "full!" It takes your stomach a little time to register "fullness." 

Instead of parking yourself on a couch in front of a TV or hanging out at a sports bar, surrounded by beer and snack food, to watch the "big game," why not go to the gym and watch it there, with your buddies, using weight-lifting benches or full-body weight-stack machines?

The last thing I did when I got to my ideal weight was to get rid of all of my pants that were 2, 4, 6 inches larger in the waist. I figured that I needed to get rid of this one last temptation to "go back" to my old ways! It motivates you to "count the cost" of buying more pants if you do not have a ready supply of the old sizes at your finger tips! 

 

OK, to be fair, I know that this is a whole lot easier when you are retired and live alone than when you live in a house full of people with whom you have to negotiate your food situation, but I still believe "where there's a will, there's a way! Unless you are "force-fed" like a goose to make foie gras, you can always say "no" to food! It just takes lots of discipline and self-control! The question is always, "How badly do you want to lose weight?" From past experiences, I know that "motivation" has to be there in great supply before I can even start the first day! 

 

 

 

FEASTING WITH GOD

 

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will provide for all peoples a feast of rich food 

and choice wines, juicy rich food and pure choice wines.

Isaiah 25:6-10a

Seven years ago, on my 75th birthday, my good friend Christina Lee Brown hosted a fabulous birthday party for me at her hill top home overlooking the Ohio River. Over 75 friends and acquaintances attended this to-die-for birthday party. It was, by far, the best birthday party I have ever had in my entire life for many reasons. Growing up I could have never imagined such an event!

It was "heavenly" on many fronts. The weather was perfect, the beautiful food was delicious, the best bourbon and wine flowed freely, and the big crowd was representative of my many varied friends. There were believers, unbelievers and everything in between. There were Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Buddhists, agnostics and atheists. They were black, white, yellow and brown. They were rich and poor. They were from the city and the country. I was able, that day, to taste a "bit of heaven" on my 75th birthday. Someday soon I hope to experience forever that even better "mountaintop banquet" in heaven that our first reading talks about today.

Did you know that in the scriptures, heaven is compared more to a fabulous banquet than anything else? How better to describe an idea like “heaven” to a bunch of people who were always on the edge of starvation than an “all you can eat buffet!” Not just a Denny’s buffet, but a “gourmet, all you can eat, cordon bleu buffet!” Our first reading from Isaiah compares heaven to a “feast of rich food and choice wines,” then he adds, “ juicy rich food and pure choice wines!”

Jesus started his ministry talking about the feast that awaits us in heaven! The very first miracle that Jesus worked, at the marriage feast of Cana, was not the multiplication of bread, the basics of life, but the multiplication of wine, the celebratory part of life! Based upon the size of the containers, commentators point out that the total new wine created by Jesus would been around 180 gallons. That is the equivalent of about 900 bottles. That was his very first miracle. The last thing Jesus did was to establish the Eucharist so that we could dine, not only with him, but on him, as often as we want, until he comes again to take us to his table in heaven!

By dining with so-called “sinners” and “outcasts,” Jesus sent the message that all of us, no matter how flawed we are, are created in the image and likeness of God and are loved by him! Because Jesus accepted them, enough to eat with them, the message these “sinners” and “outcasts” received from Jesus was that they too were acceptable to God! One of my favorite parables, today's gospel, the parable of the wedding feast puts it very clearly. In that parable, Jesus compares heaven to a royal wedding feast to which “the good and bad alike” are invited! Being invited is not about our goodness, but about God’s generosity!

Nowhere in the gospels is this idea driven home more, than in the parables! (1) In one parable, God is compared to a shepherd who is so eaten up with love for his sheep that he does something remarkable. Instead of being happy with 99 out of 100, he leaves the 99 obedient sheep out in the wasteland to go looking for the one lost sheep! Finding it, he calls in his friends and neighbors holds a party! (2) In another parable, God is compared to a woman. You heard me! God is compared to a woman! This woman has a headpiece made of 10 silver coins. It was probably her dowry for marriage! She loses one of them in the dust of her dimly-lit, dirt-floored house! In a panic, she lights a lamp and scours the floor until she finds it! Finding it, she calls in her friends and neighbors and holds a party! (3) In another parable, God is compared to a father with two sons. One son gets lost, leaves homes and gets down with the pigs. The other son stays home, follows all the rules and does all that is expected of him. Even before the lost son comes home, even before he has time to give his well-rehearsed apology, the father runs down the road to met him, puts a gold ring and a fabulous robe on him and throws a party. (4) In the gospel parable today, God is compared to the wedding feast of a king's son, where the good and bad alike are welcomed! The point of all these parables is this: God loves us no matter what we do or fail to do and God has a special place in his heart for the hurting! This message caused rejects, sinners and outcasts to flock to Jesus likes bees to flowers on one hand, and angered the religious establishment to the point of frenzy on the other! Because they believed God’s love was conditional, these religious authorities plotted and finally put Jesus to death for this revolutionary and dangerous new message!

If it is preached with clarity and conviction, this “good news” of God’s unconditional love for all people, especially the lost and hurting, is just as powerful today as it was back then! When I was pastor of the Cathedral of the Assumption, I preached this message to the outcasts and rejects of our day: street people, divorcees, gays, minorities of all kinds and people who have been judged, hurt and condemned by the church and society! This message caused great numbers to flock to the cathedral from 67 zip codes to hear it!

I could not have preached that message if I had not needed to hear it myself. I preached it because I needed to hear it! I have learned one thing in my 56 years as a priest: no matter how smart, how materially blessed, how talented, how religiously orthodox or how well-connected, there is a wounded part of all of us that needs to be healed and needs to be loved. That is just as true of the Pope as it is of the saddest street person! This fact reminds me of the movie, ON GOLDEN POND. In that movie, Henry Fonda is an old man, frustrated with getting old and dependent. Filled with anger about his situation, he is demanding, hard-headed and mean-spirited. One day, after attacking his daughter, Jane Fonda, and leaving her in tears, her mother played by Catherine Hepburn, tries to console her by asking her to put it in perspective. She makes this beautiful insight into humanity, “My dear, if you care enough, you can look deeply and closely at him and behind all that, you will realize that he is doing the best he can!”

My, friends, if God can see beyond our sins and weaknesses and see that person created in his image and likeness, surely we can do the same for each other! Most people, I believe, are doing the best they can! We see externals. God sees into the heart. The good news is that we don’t have to be perfect to be good enough for God! As Albert Schweitzer put it, "You don't have to be an angel to be a saint!"

Lastly, let me add something that I add at every funeral. If there is any unfinished business between you and the deceased, let it go! They did the best they could and so did you! It seems to be a natural tendency for the mind, at times like that, to think that it would have turned out differently if we had only done this or hadn’t done that! Let it go! You did all you could do! God has forgiven them. He has forgiven you. Now you need to forgive yourselves if there is anything left undone or unsaid! They are at peace! They are with God! The lost sheep has been found! The lost coin has been retrieved. The lost child has come home!

Let us start celebrating, even now, our entry into eternal life. God has “spread a table before us,” “a feast of rich food and choice wines, juicy rich food and pure choice wines” - not because we deserve it, but simply because God loves us so much!

"CHURCH CHAT" #49

 

The Chorus From A Hymn At My First Mass

MEN'S RETREAT DOWN IN MEADE COUNTY THIS COMING SATURDAY

 

On Your Personal, Family and Spiritual Life

A SATURDAY AFTERNOON MEN’S RETREAT

St. Theresa Family Life Center

Rhodelia, Kentucky

October 10, 2026

2:00 pm – 6:00 pm

ENDING WITH SATURDAY EVENING 6:00 MASS

 

Father Ronald Knott

Retreat Leader, Mass Celebrant and Homilist

This Retreat Will Consist of Three Presentations, Personal Reflection Time and Question Time

 

This Retreat is Open to Catholic Men and Men of Other Faiths

LIMITED TO 50 ATTENDEES 

NO CHARGE

However, If You Want, Donations Can Be Made to the St. Theresa Family Life Center

MY MINISTRY AT THE LOCAL LITTLE SISTERS OF THE POOR HOME

 

I have been volunteering to celebrate the Sacraments of Eucharist and Reconciliation at our local St. Joseph Home operated by the Little Sisters of the Poor, mostly on Mondays and for Special Celebrations, for several years now. Above is the cover of a collection of homilies I gave there in previous years and published on August 29, 2023. It is available online at amazonbooks.com. Multiple free copies were sent to all the other of their Homes for the Elderly here in the United States. 

Below is a hymn I sponsored, and co-wrote the lyrics with Tim Schoenbachler of Louisville, for the Feast of St. Jeanne Jugan (their foundress) on August 30, back in 2023. It was made available as a gift for special occasions at our local St. Joseph Home, as well as other Little Sisters Homes in the US and other English speaking countries.