Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he
saw how strong the wind was, he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he
cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Matthew 14:22-33
Even though I have been a priest for fifty-six years now, I have never
forgotten that I was ordained during one of the most tumultuous periods of
modern church history. I have been reminded of it almost every day! As I was
being ordained in 1970, many priests and Sisters were leaving. In days previous,
their leaving was certainly looked down on and some who left were given a
religious cold shoulder socially! Before my day, priests and Sisters were
placed on pedestals. Staying was praised and rewarded. Then, about the time I
was ordained, the tables flipped. Those who left were admired for their
courage, while those of us who stayed were pitied for our cowardice!
Personally, I do not want to go back to those so-called "good old
days" of pedestals! I would much rather be in the ring where the real
struggles are taking place. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, I would rather
be "the man who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and
again, who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best
knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he
fails, at least fails while daring greatly...."
I was in the thick of all that leaving as I was preparing for my First
Mass. I decided right then and there that I needed an image that would remind
me to “hold on” no matter how much the winds howled and how deep the water
rose! I was adamant that my tombstone would say in the end, “Ronald Knott, Priest!” The image of “solid rock” seemed to be one I could identify
with! It so happened that there was a popular Quaker Hymn at guitar Masses back
then that seemed to fit my needs. I had it sung at my First Mass and I have
sung it, or listened to it sung, on every one of my 56 anniversaries. That hymn
is called “How Can I Keep From Singing?” It talks about being “anchored to a
rock” in spite of the "darkness and chaos" of the world around us,
all the while hearing the faint, but steady far-off music, that sings of joy
and hope.
My life flows on in endless song;
Above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, tho' far-off hymn
That hails a new creation;
CHORUS
No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that rock I'm clinging;
Since love is lord of heaven and earth,
How can I keep from singing?
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear that music ringing;
It sounds an echo in my soul—
How can I keep from singing?
Although the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
What though the darkness 'round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.
When tyrants tremble, sick with fear,
And hear their death-knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near,
How can I keep from singing?
On my 25th Anniversary, I chose today's gospel reading about Peter’s walk
on water and how he was able to accomplish that feat by keeping his eyes fixed
on Jesus, rather than how deep the water was or high the winds blew! I had
learned, by my 25th anniversary, that the secret to surviving constant change
was having something solid to hang onto and that there was nothing more solid
and dependable than clinging to Jesus the "rock!” That required
"having your priorities straight," as we say today!
After my 25th anniversary, I started publishing my own books. To
encourage myself even more, going forward, I chose the Greek word "sophronismos," from
Paul's Second Letter to Timothy (1:7). Sophronismos means,
"the ability to know what to do in the face of panic" or
"knowing how to keep your cool under pressure." (Ah, yes, that's
exactly what I need going into old age "the ability
to control myself in the face of panic.") I want to be able to handle any
storm without being upset and falling apart all the time! As a reminder, I
named my little publishing company "Sophronismos Press."
Timothy, fellow missionary of Paul, was a young man who faced his own
crisis at the beginning of his ministry and offers us a model of fidelity in
spite of crushing disappointment. In his second letter to Timothy, Paul writes
to a young man who wants to give up and come home. His ministry was bordering
on being a total failure. Paul reminds Timothy that the Spirit gives pastoral
ministers three things during difficult times to help them continue their work: dunymis,
agape and sophronismos. Dunymis means "strength." Agape means
"a practical support kind of love rather than a sentimental feeling." Sophronismos means "the
ability to control oneself in the face of panic."
Every priest, every religious, every married person, indeed every
believer, if he or she is to survive and thrive in today’s church and in
today's world, must find that peaceful center, that inmost calm that no storm
can shake, that anxiety-free place where one waits in joyful hope, that place
of grace under pressure, that solid foundation on which they can withstand any
storm, that peace of mind and heart that only God can give. This is why our
prayer life is so essential! Our relationship with Christ is that
"sure foundation" where we can withstand any storm headed toward us!
These times of crisis are a normal part of life whether it's in ordained
ministry, religious life, marriage or membership in a faith community. These
crisis times are not signs that we have made a mistake, but signs that we are
on the right path. If they are normal and to be expected, then we need to
develop the inner strength to face them, deal with them and overcome them. I
actually feel sorry for those who have nothing solid to hang onto these days!
Eleanor Roosevelt put it this way, “You gain strength, courage and confidence
every time you look fear in the face. We must do the thing we think we cannot
do.” In other words, we must be able, like Peter, to "walk on water!" Why must we do it? In the end, we must not forget the gospel’s final words
of Jesus to us, “I will be with you always.”
No storm can shake my inmost calm while to that rock I'm clinging!
