WHEN PRIESTS ARE HAVING A BAD DAY

 

 

 

ENCOUNTERING PEOPLE: IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?

 

I have used the 1927 poem DESIDERATA by Max Ehrmann several times, even recently, in my blog posts. I am attaching it again, but focusing on two parts of it in this particular blog post. Those parts are in red below. 

                                                                      DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

These are the parts I want to focus on - the parts that invite us to keep our eyes open to the trickery of the world, but not to lose our focus on those virtuous people who strive for high ideals and are full of heroism. Yes, there is a lot of sham, drudgery and broken dreams, but it is still a beautiful world if we have the eyes to see it! 

One of things I try to balance in my life is to be realistic about sin and evil, while also not losing my focus on the fact that there is so much goodness, virtue and heroism as well. Back when I was writing my weekly column in The Record for fifteen years called An Encouraging Word (also the name of this blog), I decided from the very beginning that I would focus on goodness to affirm, rather than on sins to condemn. I was influenced by the quote that says, "We find whatever it is we're looking for!" 

Why is it that it is easier to see the bad and ignore the good all around us? I have spent some time reflecting on this conundrum, both before I decided that I would focus on goodness to affirm rather than sin to condemn when I started my weekly column in The Record back in 2002 and ever since I started this blog afterwards as well. I must admit that it is not getting easier, but harder, to see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty.  These days, I find myself asking myself "why is it getting harder to focus on those virtuous people who strive for high ideals and are full of heroism" than it used to be? They are still there, surely, so why is it becoming harder to focus on them? I do know that it is still "up to me" to choose where I place my focus no matter how hard it gets! 

Here are some of the reasons I have come up with in my personal questioning around this issue of why it is becoming harder to focus on the goodness, virtue and heroism all around us and what I am doing to curb a lot of its negativity from invading my consciousness! 

(1) We live in a culture saturated with 24 hour a day news cycle and social technology. I have cut way back on how much news I take in on any given day.  

(2) That news tends to bombard us with negativity because bad news sells and good news bores. Many people are being pumped full of the emphasis on scandal, tragedies and corruption. I hear the bad news to be informed, but I deliberately look for sources that specialize in positive, educational and uplifting programming whenever and wherever possible. 

(3) We have been given permission by the examples of some of our top leaders to express anger, resentment, hatred and revenge without holding back. They are setting the example and we are following their lead. With our hand-held i-phones, i-pads and laptop computers we have multiple ways to spew all the anger we feel, justified or not, true or not, all day and night if we choose. I do not use FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, TIKTOK, SNAPCHAT and other social media platforms for that very reason. To me they seems to be laced with gossip, anger and grievances that I don't need, or want, to see, read or hear about! This blog is called "An Encouraging Word." Hopefully, it helps and heals, rather than condemns and castigates.   

I joke with my brother when he asks how things are going. I usually joke with him and say, "I am like a doctor that nobody calls to say how much they have been helped. They only call when they are sick or need advice on their tragedies.  No one has called me today to ask me how I am doing, or about what a great day they are having, but I have had at least five calls about how bad other people are having it today!" Instead of complaining, I usually end up by saying to him, "I only have aggravations. Most of those people have real problems. So I am not about to complain. I know in my heart of hearts that I get more affirmation than I deserve!" 

 

FOLLOWING JESUS LIGHTENS OUR LOAD

 

Come to me all you who are weary and find life burdensome and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.

Matthew 11:25-30

Seven kids in a small house! I don’t know how my mother did it! She was one of the most generous persons in the whole world, not only to us kids, but to her neighbors as well. She was what I would call “totally selfless.” She was an old-fashioned country mother. Besides giving birth to seven kids, she cleaned, cooked, helped clean the church, did laundry, ironed our clothes and even altar lenins, raised a huge garden, sewed, canned food, raised and slaughtered chickens, helped us with homework, taught us our prayers, took care of us when we were sick and even played with us! I don’t know how she did it, day in and day out, her whole life long, until she finally died of cancer at 58! But every once in a while, the burdens of motherhood weighed her down, sometimes to the breaking point! Even though she loved us and never complained outright, every once in a while she let us know that she would love to have a break from the burdens of motherhood. “All I want is a little peace and quiet, a small white house with a picket fence and a few flowers in the yard!” It never occurred to us that she wanted it without us! She loved us very much. She did not regret the disciplines of motherhood. She only wanted a little relief once in a while. Poor woman! She had to die to get the “peace and quiet” she longed for!

I used to think about my mother a lot, especially when I was a pastor. As much as I love the priesthood, whenever I was over whelmed by its disciplines, I found myself fantasizing about selling all I have, packing my bags and moving to another city where no on knew me, no one expected anything from me, where I could do any damn thing I wanted, whenever I want to do it!  I know it was an illusion. I knew I would miss my life as a priest very much. In retirement, the discipline of being a priest are not so wearisome and burdensome these days. In fact, I enjoy what I am doing because I don’t have to worry about administration, personnel issues and parish finances.

Like my mother’s yearning for relief from the burdens of motherhood! I know I am here to stay! I know that I was just tired back then when I fantasized about leaving whenever I thought the grass might be greener o the other side of the fence. I know that fundamentally the disciplines of priesthood are life-giving for me and they have always been!   

Just like motherhood, marriage and priesthood, which have the ability to give life to people and to drain the life out of them sometimes, Jesus knew that religion has the ability to give life to people, as well as the ability to drain the life out of them. Religion at the time of Jesus was draining the life out of people. But before you rush out and condemn organized religion, know this: Jesus was not against organized religion, but an organized religion that had lost its faith! He wanted, not to condemn organized religion, but to renew it! Jesus did not abandon organized religion because it lost its way, any more than my mother would abandon her kids or most of you your marriages or me the priesthood, just because we are tempted to run for the hills every once in a while! 

Jesus uses the image of a yoke to talk about his discipline versus a religion that had lost its focus. He called the discipline of religion a “yoke,” something that every good Jew recognized as “the Law” or us "the Bible,” if you will.  Jesus was a carpenter. He knew about yokes. He made many of them.  When it came to making yokes for oxen, the carpenter did not make one-size-fits-all. He took a “roughed out” yoke and then trimmed and whittled until it was “custom made” so that it would not gall the neck of the ox who wore it.  Jesus says his yoke is “crestos,” which means “custom made” or “made to order.” Some translations of “crestos” say it means “easy,” but that is not quite the sense that Jesus means. “Crestos” means more like “well fitted or well suited.” Using this image, Jesus says that his spiritual discipline has high expectations and demands a lot, but it is a joy to carry! It’s sort of like that old Boys Town story when the young man who was carrying his brother said, “He ain’t heavy. He’s my brother!”  Healthy religion expects a lot, but a healthy religion gives back even more! That’s what the “yoke of Jesus”  is all about!

I can not imagine life without faith in Jesus and his life-giving discipline. Yes, my own weakness and the weakness of others, weigh me down at times, but  that is nothing compared to the life-giving power that comes with walking with Jesus.  Yes, I have been worn down a few times along the way, but what keeps me going is the certain knowledge that God is at work even now, in spite of any former setbacks or future scandal! As my favorite old hymn goes, “Through all the tumult and the strife, I hear the music ringing. It sounds and echoes in my soul. How can I keep from singing?” Knowing how things will turn out when all of this is said and done, how can we keep from singing?

Keep the faith! Keep the faith!  Our faith has just been fed on God’s Word, now let us go to the table and let God feed our faith with nothing less than Christ’s own body and blood!  Remember that faith, even faith the size of a mustard seed, can move mountains, so keep the faith all the way to the end!  

CHURCH CHAT #35

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ALL YOU WHO HAD 4TH OF JULY WEDDINGS

Especially If All Your Plans Were Approved

 

WHEN MY BIGGEST IRRATIONAL THOUGHT IS TRIGGERED

During his first years of practicing REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy), the famous American psychologist and psychotherapist, Dr. Albert Ellis saw that practically all of his clients held variations of a dozen or so irrational beliefs. He later reduced them to three. 

September 27, 1913 - July 24, 2007

His Irrational Idea No. 1 is the one that triggers my most serious and regular response. I am getting better at managing it, but a recent e-mailed criticism of one of my homilies from a total stranger triggered an irrational response as soon as I read the criticism. I work hard on my homilies, get a high degree of affirmation and "put them out there" on my blog so I am always vulnerable to being "triggered" by a critical response. I know it is irrational. I have worked hard to lower my being "triggered" because I realize such a response is irrational. I also know that others are "triggered" much more often than me so I have decided to share this one personal experience in the hopes that it will help someone else who gets "triggered" into an irrational response when they, or their work, is rejected or criticized.

Irrational Idea No. 1 

The idea that it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved of by virtually every significant other person in his community. 

- It’s impossible to be liked or loved by everybody. No matter how popular you are, there will always be someone who doesn’t like you.

- Even if you could get everybody to like or love you, you would never know if they liked you enough, or if they still liked you.

- Different people have different tastes. Some people might like (for example) your new hairstyle; other people might hate it. Therefore, no matter what you do, some people will admire you, and some people won’t.

- Getting people to like you takes time and effort. If you try to get everyone to like you, you won’t have any time or energy left over to do the things that you want to do.

- If you demand others’ approval, you’ll always be doing what they want you to do, instead of doing what you want to do with your time and your life. Your life will no longer be your own.

- If you try too hard to be loved or approved, people will soon tire of your constant sycophancy, and they will not respect you.

- Paying too much attention to how much love and approval you are receiving, means you won’t pay enough attention to how much love and approval you are giving.

- There’s no harm in trying to be popular, but it’s best not to try too hard. In other words, it’s self-helping to want to be popular, but it’s self-defeating to need to be popular.

- Having love and approval means you’ll find it easier to have friends, to find and keep a job, to find accommodation, etc. But just because other people approve of you doesn’t mean that you’ll like yourself. It’s better to strive for unconditional self-acceptance; i.e., you accept yourself, regardless of what others think of you.

- It’s not pleasant when other people don’t like you, but it’s not awful, it’s not the end of the world, and it’s not fatal.

"HE WHO WATERS OTHERS WILL HIMSELF BE WATERED" Prv.11:25

BISHOP FILBERT MHASI

Diocese of Tunduru-Masasi in Tanzania, East Africa

Bishop Mhasi would like to thank all the donor-friends of Father Ronald Knott and Father John Judie, who have helped finish his new Cardinal Polycarp Pendo Primary School which had been sitting half-finished for the last few of years. This new Catholic school is scheduled to open this July (pictures of the school opening will follow in an upcoming blog post). The school will open with the first four of six classrooms this July - with the final two classrooms opened next year hopefully.  The school now consists of a classroom building, an administration building, a library/kitchen/lunchroom building, new large outhouse toilets, a newly drilled water well, along with some cows to provide milk and meat for the school kids.  

I have also gathered, and have ready to send, some desperately needed school supplies which many parents cannot afford.   To save money, Father John will start taking some of them with him on July 12 on his next trip and the rest on his following trip in late August. I collected over 1,500 misprinted and used pens and the same number of new pencils, along with a variety of other needed school supplies like erasers, small pencil sharpeners, plastic rulers and even a few hand-held solar-powered calculators (no batteries needed) and so on. We cannot send paper products because of the weight. It would be cheaper to send the funds to buy school paper locally. 

This school will address three major problems in his Diocese of Tunduru-Masasi: generational poverty, early Christian-Muslim relationships and the reduction of the need for migration into other countries. Interestingly enough, in a predominately Muslim diocese, some of the Muslim parents approached Bishop Mhasi about building a school for their children to attend along with the children of his diocese. Even some of the local Muslim leaders showed up at a Third Sunday of Advent Mass (notice the rose vestments of the day) celebrated at one of Bishop Mhasi's many mission stations. 

                                                        

On May 30th, I got another bit of good news about a funeral for one of his priests - Father Joel Tindawa. Among the 300 attendees were some Muslims, the Anglican Bishop and the Lutheran Bishop. His effort to build good interfaith relationships, starting in early childhood, will surely produce more great results in his predominately Muslim diocese in Tanzania with this new school.   

Our goal is to finish the last two classrooms by next school year. If you would like to help with the last two classrooms which will complete this school, please send your tax-deductible checks, made out to Father John Judie Ministries, to me for deposit in that account:

Rev. Ronald Knott 

1271 Parkway Gardens Court

#106

Louisville, KY 40217