LOOKING DOWN, LOOKING OUT - BEING LOVED, LOVING OTHERS

 

Today is the Feast of the Holy Trinity. It is traditional for many preachers to begin their homilies with the statement that the Holy Trinity is a mystery and then talk for twenty minutes proving to people that it is still a mystery. Today, I have decided to do something different starting with those wonderful words from today's gospel.

"God so loved the world that he sent his only Son. God did not send
his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might
be saved through him.
John 3:16-18

"God so loved the world that he sent his only Son not to condemn the world, but to save it?" "To love, not to condemn, but to save?" In light of those words, I am going to do two things today. (1) I am going to say a bit about what we are told that God sees as he looks down on us. (2) I am going to say a bit about what I see looking out at you! 

WHAT DOES GOD SEE LOOKING DOWN AT US?

What God sees looking down on us is summarized in today's gospel. "God so loved the world that he sent his only Son. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him." Those words are a re-affirmation of the words recorded in the Book of Genesis. "God created mankind in his image. In the image of God, he created them; male and female he created them." "God looked at everything he had made, and found it very good." 

(1) The first thing today's gospel teaches us is that it was God who loved us first and sent his Son because he loved us. (2) The second thing today's gospel shows us is that God is not acting for his own sake, but for our sake, not to satisfy his desire for power, not to bring a universe to heel, but to satisfy his urge to love.  God is presented to us as a Father who cannot be happy until his wandering children have come home to him. (3) The third thing today's gospel shows us is the width of God's love. It is not a single nation that he loves. It is not only the people who love him that he loves. It is not only the people who love him back that he loves. He loves the whole world! He loves the unlovable and the unlovely. He loves the one who loves God and the one who never thinks of God. He loves the one who basks in the love of God and the one who ignores the love of God. As St. Augustine put it, "God loves each one of us as if there was only one of us to love."  God did not send his Son into the world to condemn us, but because he wanted to show the world that he loved us! Because he loved us so much, he wanted to save us from our own self-destruction!

Because people do not seem to understand the concept of "the unconditional love of God for us," they keep reverting to their "sinners in the hands of an angry God" theology which promotes a stern, angry, unforgiving, get-even God, rather than a gentle, loving and forgiving God. So many so-called "believers" still think that if the "unconditional love of God for us" is preached convincingly then people will start doing anything they want to do and all hell will break loose! They believe that preaching the "fear of God" is the only way to motivate them to change and keep them in check! That's sad indeed and it's wrong! The truth of the matter is that God looks down on us with great love - always has and always will!     

WHAT DO I SEE LOOKING OUT AT YOU? 

As I look out at the congregation of Our Lady of Lourdes when I come here, I don't just see a crowd! I see you! I see individuals! In a sea of families, some individuals stand out: young families with small children, immigrants, widows and widowers, special needs children, struggling youth, racial minorities, old people with canes and walkers and even military personnel sometimes.  

I SEE YOU AND I PRAY FOR YOU

I pray especially for those married couples in church with 1,2,3,4 or more kids in tow. They have given up their own comfort and convenience and have committed themselves to becoming servants of their children for several years. They provide them with food, shelter, health care, entertainment, education and protection. They cook for them. They do their laundry, cut their hair or take them to the barber shop, shop for their clothes, meet with their teachers, wash and maintain the family car and teach them how to use technology properly. They take them to endless sports events, make costumes for Halloween and take them Trick or Treating, help them with their homework, serve on boards and committees, take them to the doctor, fund extra-curricular activities, bake cakes, muffins and cookies on demand for school and parish events, volunteer at church, look after their own elderly parents, celebrate their birthdays, decorate the house for holidays, help them with Sacramental Preparation, get things repaired and try to keep things running smoothly around the house. 

I pray especially for the older parishioners, especially widows, widowers and those who are single either by choice, circumstances or divorce. I pray for the immigrants who still struggle to adapt and find their way. I pray for the sick, the home-bound and those in institutions like prisons, away from home for school, in hospitals or nursing homes and in the military.  

As I look out and see immigrants, I am reminded to pray for them and my many friends in other countries around the world, especially in Ireland, Germany, Belgium, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad, Togo, Kenya and Tanzania. Because I was lucky enough to lead well over 150 priest convocations and retreats in 10 countries, and because I was lucky enough to establish the "World Priest" program at St. Meinrad serving priests and seminarians from several more countries who are now serving in the US, I know people from around the world and hear from many of them especially around the holidays. I intentionally and regularly pray for them and their families.  Yes, I even pray for the descendants of our Native Americans, from whom we European immigrants basically stole this land, as well as the descendants of our African Americans we basically stole from several African countries as slaves.    

I pray with a special intensity for our youth and young adults, especially those who are bullied, those confused about their sexual identity, those who have been abused, those with low self-esteem, those who are lonely, those battling addictions, those who suffer from debilitating physical conditions including obesity and those who risk life and limbs serving in the military.  I pray that they will choose to embrace the church especially when they grow into adulthood and settle down.  

I SEE YOU AND I PRAY FOR MY OWN ABILITY TO INSPIRE YOU

I pray that I can be a better priest. I pray for my own ability to inspire you to be better disciples through my words from pulpits like this and through my many blog posts, through my efforts to give you the best quality service I can give you and through my example as a friendly and compassionate person at the door when you arrive and leave Mass.   

I pray especially for my own good health at 82 years old. So far, so good! I know that I am lucky. Realizing that I am lucky, I also pray that if I do have some serious health issues coming up, I will somehow be able to model for others how to handle pain and suffering with as much poise and grace as possible like I have witnessed many parishioners like you handling it.   

Besides my past blessings and present good health, I pray with deepest gratitude for my faith, my vocation and what I already have materially. I do not pray for a bigger house, a newer car, a better job, a better family, another vacation or even for more income. I find myself "satisfied" with what I already have and for the people who already love me. I pray that you do too! 

CHURCH CHAT #30

 

LOVING YOURSELF STARTS WITH ACCURATE SELF-PERCEPTION

 

I am confident enough these days to share some of my healed "wounds" in the hope that sharing them may help someone else heal their "wounds!" Here is one of my favorite "recovery stories" from my treasury of "stinkin' thinkin'!"

For many years, actually until just a few years ago, I could not even look at this photo of myself because I was convinced that I was too pitiful to look at! It was taken in September 1958 minutes before I was leaving my small country hometown of Rhodelia at age fourteen to go to St. Thomas Seminary. That seminary was a high-school boarding  school in the big city of Louisville, a place I had never seen before, to begin a twelve year training program for possible ordination to priesthood. Arriving there, I was battling serious negative reactions and predictions from my pastor, a few of my neighbors and some of my friends. I had to beg, cry and plead before I was given permission to be able to "give it a try." 

As I look at that old photo, I am shocked by what I see in reality today and what I was thinking was reality at that time. I realize today that I was not as ugly as I once thought! Today I see an innocent young boy too bashful to really look at the camera, with a forced smile, amazingly brave enough to trade what he knew growing up for a complete unknown and an uncertain future. To be honest, I did not realize at the time that I was probably more focused on getting away from something even more than going toward something. Somehow, I was mysteriously courageous enough to "make a run for it" anyway! Even then, none of the seminary staff ever asked about my childhood experiences, much less help me work through them, even though most of my attention was still focused on those childhood "wounds." Since there was no rescue party out looking for me, I was a teenager left to figure it out on my own! 

I have learned in adulthood, slowly but surely, that messages given during my childhood and minor seminary days are responsible for many of my inaccurate early self-perceptions. Instead of accepting all of those messages as true, I have finally learned to separate what is true from what were simply the projections of others onto me that I took in as believable in my twisted thinking. 

Some of the regular messages from childhood (1944-1958) were these: "you will never amount to a hill of beans," "you can't do anything right," "you are stupid and ugly," "you are a useless little "runt," "I can't wait till you're grown and out of here!" 

Some of the regular messages from minor seminary days (age 14-18) were these: "you are a hopeless case," "your ears and teeth are too big," "you are a hillbilly, a hick, a redneck" and "you have been a ball and chain around my leg for six years!"   

        

How Do Childhood Experiences Create Lasting Psychological Distortions in Adulthood?

The brain is most plastic, most responsive to experience, during childhood. That’s an advantage for learning. It’s also why early adversity leaves such deep marks.

Childhood maltreatment, abuse, neglect, chronic instability, produces measurable structural changes in the brain. Brain imaging research has documented reduced volume in the prefrontal cortex, which governs rational decision-making, and altered development of the amygdala and hippocampus, regions central to emotional regulation and memory. These aren’t metaphorical scars. They’re visible on scans.

The practical consequence is that children who grow up under sustained threat develop nervous systems tuned for danger. Threat-detection becomes hypersensitive; trust in others becomes difficult; memory distortion alters how past events are stored and recalled, sometimes making traumatic memories feel present-tense even when they’re not. These adaptations made sense in the original environment. They become distortions when the person carries them into adulthood and applies them to situations where the threat is no longer real.

Core beliefs, deeply held convictions about the self, others, and the world, often crystallize during this period: "I am ugly." “I am unlovable or a nuisance.” “The world is dangerous.” “Most people will hurt you.” "I am a burden." These beliefs then operate as lenses, filtering all subsequent experience to confirm what was learned early. A kind gesture gets explained away; an ambiguous comment gets read as rejection.

The distortion isn’t random, it’s organized around a theme established decades earlier.

REMEMBER THIS

You need not be a victim of other people's thoughts, views or words!

It may take a life-time, but you can change how you remember your past! 

You can be your own hero in self-rescue if you are determined enough! 

 

  

 

 

GOOD CHURCH LEADERS ARE BOTH GOOD AND GOOD AT IT

    

A dose of democracy is always good in a church, but no church hardly ever excels without a great leader. Being a great church leader means (1) putting the mission of the church ahead of one's own gain or needs and (2) knowing how to unleash the power of his or her community to carry out that mission. 

As Jesus put it in the Greek text in his teaching about the "good shepherd," he or she is both personally good (agathos), as well as "good at" (kalos) what he or she does! As that old seminary seal put it at the entrance to Saint Meinrad Seminary, a great church leader has both "personal holiness" (sanctitatae) and (scientia) "useful knowledge" or "know-how!"  As Jim Collins puts it in his book, Good to Great, a great leader is both "humble" and "competent." 

The two great sins of most failed church leaders, I have come to believe, are arrogance and incompetence, - clericalism and ineptitude! They often go together when clericalism becomes a failed attempt to disguise ineptitude. When that happens, isn't it usually a case of "fools rushing in where angels fear to tread?"  In that case, failed church leaders end up being neither "good" nor "good at it!"

CARRYING ON THE MINISTRY OF JESUS

Jesus said to them, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”

Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”

John 20

 

I began my path to priesthood 68 years ago: 12 years as a seminarian and 56 years as a priest. In fact, I celebrated my first Mass on a Pentecost Sunday like today in 1970!  During the last 60 years, I have watched the stumbling of a once arrogant and over-confident church. Like an aging old movie star in denial, she seems to find herself embarrassed on a daily basis these days!  But, do you know what? I love her more now than I did way back then. Like an alcoholic approaching recovery, she is going through that inevitable break down that leads to a breakthrough. The only mistake Vatican Council II made was not warning us that we had to go through a break down to get to a breakthrough - like our ancestors had to go through a desert before getting to the "promised land" after leaving Egypt! It’s messy, but it’s real. I don’t despise her because of her sins, I love her for her courage to keep going, in spite of her sins. I stand by her. She can count me in, during these critical days of recovery even if I don’t live long enough to see her next “golden age!”

When I say “church,” I am not talking about the Pope and the Bishops, I mean us! We are the church and I believe that we are going to get well. I see signs of hope and encouragement, even in these hard times of parish closings and priest shortages.  I see and hear more people looking for God again today – especially among our young adults!

They are tired of the chaos and uncertainty! They are looking for stability! The problem is, there are more looking for solid spiritual food than there are places that can deliver it. People are grazing across parish boundaries, denominational lines and traditional sources, looking for something spiritually satisfying. I see and hear people sick to death of second-rate preaching and obsession with religious organizational trivialities. I see and hear people looking for God in growing numbers. This gives me great hope.

“As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” 

Where is God today?   For a few years, the early church stood around watching the heavens, anticipating the future return of Jesus, as he had promised. Expecting it any day, they were content to sit and wait for his return.  This feast marks the beginning of their realization that his return could be a long way off and the realization that they had to roll up their sleeves and get to work. They transferred their gaze from the heavens to the world around them. Instead of looking up, they began to look around! Once they had received the power of the Holy Spirit, they were ready to carry on the work of Jesus to the ends of the earth until that time when he promised to return.

Where is God today?  People may be looking for God in growing numbers again, but unfortunately some people are looking backwards and romanticizing the past. They believe that God was alive in the “good old days” and if we could only return to the “good old days” then we would all find God again. Trying to go back there, these people are playing vicious politics in every denomination from Southern Baptists to Roman Catholics.

Then there are others who look for God in the extraordinary. Since they cannot find God in ordinary life, they run from one reported apparition and miracle rumor to another.

Still others are again trying to find God again in the future. They turn to Bible passages and claim to be able to de-code secret messages, obscure prophecies and interpret natural disasters as signs that the end of the world is immanent.  Rather than trying to clean up the world that God has given us, they would rather yearn for its destruction.

This feast does not deny that God has acted in the past or that he will act again in the future, but it reminds us that God is acting right now through us!  The angels in today’s gospel tell our earliest brothers and sisters in the church to quit looking up for God, to quit looking back for God, but to look around at each other to experience God acting through his followers!  

My friends, the reason people today are out looking for God is they are not finding him in us - the people who are supposed to be his ambassadors!  That’s why they are out looking in new and exotic places. It reminds me of that old bumper sticker from the 60s. “If you were accused of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?”  Instead of focusing our attention on becoming the best ambassadors of Christ we can be, we are arguing over church structures and pious practices and looking for perfect church leaders. The purpose of today’s feast is to focus our attention on the fact that we have power to do good because we have the Holy Spirit within us. Then when people see our goodness, they can actually see and experience the goodness of God flowing through us. Jesus taught us to let our lights shine, so that people can see our goodness, and then seeing our goodness, they can experience God working through us! 

The message today? Quit gawking around! Get to work! Unleash the power that the Holy Spirit has given you! Allow God to reveal himself through you! Today’s message is crystal clear!  We received power when the Holy Spirit came upon us! Just as the Father sent Jesus into our world to make God present, Jesus now sends us into the world to make him present and to carry on his ministry!

 

 

 

 

    

 

CHURCH CHAT #29