As you may have read in this blog, I volunteer to help out with Masses down the street at St. Joseph Home for the Aged operated by the Little Sisters of the Poor, behind Audubon Hospital. Under Mother Paul, the previous Mother of that Community here in Louisville, I was designated the Official Confessor for the Sacrament of Reconciliation as well.
It may be my imagination, it may be my advancing old age, but it seems like the whole world in on edge, ready to bite somebody's head of, pull a gun on them in a road rage event, attack somebody on a plane or just complain about how waiters, clerks and service personnel are not fast enough or attentive enough to quickly wait on them!
One of the things I have learned working in a nursing home is that almost everything is slower: getting people seated, getting heard when people can't hear all that well, eating a meal, readers coming up to the pulpit to read the Scriptures, getting people ready for a doctor's appointment and almost everything else!
The thing that I have noticed most of all is how much patience it takes by the staff to work there, whether it be from the Sisters, the paid staff or the volunteers! I am sure that the residents themselves require a lot of patience, after they have pushed the button for help, for that help to arrive! Amazingly, a place like that should be full of complaints, but surprisingly I don't hear nearly as much as I had expected!
I have always tried to give the residents I meet as much affirmation and attention as I can when I am there. One of the new things that I am training myself to do is to notice the staff more! It is easy for me to say nice things to the elderly in wheel chairs, but lately I have been making a special effort to do the same thing to the staff person pushing the wheel chair, the janitor mopping the hallway and the receptionist behind the desk!
I have extended this practice to the woman seated near the door as I enter the bank, the grocery employee overseeing the self-check out lanes and the overwhelmed mother pushing her grocery cart to the car - even offering her the bag of cookies in my own cart!
The mystery question of the month is this! Why is it easier to complain and bite someone's head off than it is to show a little compassion and gratitude? It could just be a bad habit we have fallen into, but I think it is more! When we are self-focused, it is easier to complain and attack. When we are other-focused, it is easier to show gratitude and compassion.
This coming Lent, I am going to try my best to become more other-focused than self-focused. I resolve to be on the look-out for individuals who could use a smile, an encouraging word, a pat of the back or an even more sincere "thank you!" It's my small effort to resist the growing present trend to be nasty, mean and short-tempered in public as well as in private. The only way this present trend can be turned around is one person at a time! Join me in this effort. It makes a lot more sense than giving up sweets and can do a world of good for a whole lot of discouraged individuals!