Do not neglect the gift you have.
Attend to your-self and to your teaching. Persevere in both tasks.
I
Timothy: 4:14-16
I
have a small paper copy of a famous "NO WHINING" button taped above my computer. It has the word WHINING in a circle with a left to right, line
slashing through it.
People
who whine, myself or others, whine not only when we are unhappy, but even more
so when we expect to be rescued from our unhappiness by others. Whiners feel
powerless and believe that if someone
else
would only do this or that, or quit doing this or that, they themselves would be happier
and more successful.
I
keep that sign above my computer to remind me each day to take
responsibility for my own happiness - a
decision that I actually made consciously for the first
time, one spring day back in 1965.
Starting with small baby-steps, I marched out that day
to meet life head-on with my mind made up to quit my whining, to start making
myself happy and to quit blaming other people and the circumstances of my life
for my unhappiness. I have made tremendous progress in the last 59 years, but
there are still a few cancerous "whining cells" in my bloodstream
that manifest themselves every now and then. I keep that "no whining"
sign above my computer so every day I am reminded to keep working my
program.
Imagine, for a moment, what you will be like in
2035! Will it be a matter of luck or intention?
Some of you who struggled through college will be successful beyond your
wildest imaginations! Some of you who graduated with honors will allow
that advantage to slip away from you. For most of you, what happens to you
between now and then will be of your own making, either by design or neglect.
Whether you succeed or fail will depend a lot on you – on whether you
accept or abdicate responsibility for your own life, instead of blaming other
people and circumstances for where you have ended up. Sure, there are some circumstances beyond our control, a few tragedies
over which we have no power, but I have tried to follow these words of George
Bernard Shaw, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they
are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are
the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and of they
can't find them, make them."
In
our first reading today, the young missionary, Timothy, was discouraged by his
circumstances, wanted to quit and come home, whining that nobody would listen
to him. Timothy must have been a real whiner because Paul has to write to him
at least twice. In his first letter he writes this to Timothy. "Let no one
have contempt for you because of your youth, but set an example for those who
believe. Watch over yourself and over your teaching; persevere in both tasks,
for by doing so, you will save both yourself and those who listen to you."
(4:12-16) In other words, "Quit whining! You've got important work to do!
You're talented. Now go do it. Do what? Take care of yourself and take care of
the people entrusted to your care."
In
his second letter to the young Timothy, the problem seems to persist because
Paul says this to him: "Fan into flame the gift that God gave you at your
ordination. God did not give you a spirit of cowardice, but rather of strength,
practical helpfulness and courage in the face of tragedy." (1:6-7)
"Timothy!
Get a grip! Quit using your youth as an excuse! Attend to yourself and to the
people God has entrusted to your care." This advice from Saint Paul is
extremely appropriate even today. The one thing that all successful leaders,
parents, spouses, professionals and teachers have in common is their passionate
drive for improvement – both in who they are and in what they do – a fierce
commitment to their own lifelong formation and an unflinching quest for
personal excellence. In other words, all successful leaders, parents, priests,
nursing professionals, spouses, and teachers are committed to "attending
to themselves and attending to those entrusted to their care."
Excellence
in pastoral ministry, parenting, marriage, business, health care or teaching is
never about watching over either oneself or others, but
watching over both. A priest who only takes care of himself and neglects his
people is a disgrace as a priest, but so is the hard-working priest who never
takes care of himself. A spouse who only takes care of himself or herself and
neglects his or her spouse and children is a disgrace to marriage, but so also
is the marriage partner or parent who is always taking care of others while
neglecting him or herself. We must attend to ourselves and to those entrusted to
us by God and keep them in balance.
In
this discipline of watching over oneself and over what one is called to do, I
would like to refer to what we call in seminary training, "the four
pillars:" human formation, spiritual formation, intellectual formation and
professional formation. These "four pillars" are used in our programs
for the ongoing formation of priests after seminary as well. Even though they
were developed for seminarians and priests, they apply to leaders,
professionals, parents, spouses and teachers as well.
To
attend to oneself and to one's call, to be good and good at what one does, one
must pay attention to one's human formation. This means striving to
become the best person we can be, as well as increasing one's capacity to
relate to others. As Jesus put it, "A bad tree cannot bear good fruit nor
can a good tree bear bad fruit." A mess of a human being can never be a
good marriage partner, parent, priest, business professional, pastoral worker
or teacher. Becoming a good "anything," begins with a whole, healthy
human person.
To
watch over oneself and over what one is called to do, one must pay attention to
one's spiritual formation. A good
priest must have a vigorous personal spiritual life if he is to be a successful
spiritual leader, and a vigorous spiritual life is impossible without regular
tending. It has been proven, over and over again in study after study, that marriages
that have God in them last longer and are happier than those without God in
them. In the Sacraments of Marriage and Baptism, parents are asked if they are
willing to accept the responsibility of bringing their children up in the
practice of the faith. Parents who are not working on their own spiritual
formation will not be able to meet their responsibility as primary teachers of
the faith to their children.
To
watch over oneself and over what one is called to do, one must pay attention to
one's intellectual formation. Any
good priest, parent, professional, or marriage partner, must be open to growing
in wisdom and knowledge in an ever more complex world with its ever evolving
scientific and technological discoveries. We need to know what is going on in
the world, if we are to engage the world and keep up with it. We must commit to
being life-long learners or the world will simply leave us behind.
To
watch over oneself and over what one is called to do, one must pay attention to
one's professional formation. Even
though each of us receives a different call in life, none of us is born a good
parent, priest, pastoral worker, business or health professional, teacher or
spouse. We must constantly sharpen our abilities and develop our skills. As
Jesus told us in the parable of the talents, we might each be given different
talents, but every one of us is called to invest those talents and
help them grow. Saint Paul tell Timothy, "not to neglect the gift he has
been given, ... but to be diligent in these matters, even absorbed in them ...
so that your progress will be evident." "By doing so," he says,
"you will save both yourself and those who listen to you."
All of you have been blessed. The challenge ahead of you is to now do something
with those blessings. Grab the bull by the horns starting today! Accept personal responsibility for
yourself. No whining! Cultivate your own drive for improvement – both in who
you are and in what you do.
In the end, life is not about finding yourself, but
about working with God to create yourself.
