I have tried to live that Old Testament Proverb (11:25) that
says, “He who waters others will himself be watered.” I was reminded
of it when I saw the first reading and the gospel reading for today. Both
readings teach us about God rewarding people for their generosity. The first
reading tells us about how a woman, who built a little guest room in her house
for the Prophet Elisha to stay in, was blessed with the baby that she had
longed for over the years. In the gospel, Jesus promises a reward for every
good deed, from welcoming a prophet to giving a child a cup of water.
All my life, I have had experiences of having my generous
gestures come back to me a hundred-fold. Let me tell you just one story from my
days down in the home missions of the diocese back when I was a young
priest.
As the first Catholic priest to live in Wayne County, Kentucky,
I was stationed at a mission church down along the Tennessee border. We had a
handful, less than a dozen, of parishioners and money was very tight. In fact,
one of my first jobs was to raise my own salary. Often it was a strain to even
pay the church’s electric bill. I lived in the basement of the church to save
the parish money. One of the ministries we had was a used clothing store for
poor people who needed access to cheap clothing. One day, we got a load of
clothes from the family of a man from Louisville who had died. I was going
through his stuff, trying to organize it, when I came across a box of old
shoes. In the bottom of the box, under the shoes, was a stack of $20 bills that
amounted to about $400.00. I knew in my heart of hearts that the old man had
hidden it there before he died and that the family was not aware of it. I stood
there holding the $400.00, knowing that we could really use it, but also
knowing that the family did not know what they had given us. I finally decided
to send it back to the family who thanked me for my honesty. A few months went
by and then one day a letter came in the mail. The family sent us a $1,000.00
check from his estate because we had been so honest!
That kind of thing happened all the time down there. We
would get down to almost nothing, be generous to someone even needier than we
were, only to see an unplanned donation come in from some unexpected source,
often on the same day! It happened when I was a volunteer missionary in
the Caribbean Missions a couple of years back. It happened during the St.
Theresa Family Life Center and Guest House project
that I just recently finished down in my home parish in Meade County. It
is happening in my mission projects in Africa. In fact, this past Christmas Eve,
I was short a few hundred dollars of my goal to finish the school building I
was working on by Christmas! I went to the mail box that Christmas Eve and opened
a letter that had a check in it that miraculously met our goal. I stood there
amazed because I thought we would be short! It was a very last-minute miracle
for sure!
I first learned this "give-and-receive" dynamic
from my mother. She had very little money, but she was a serious “giver,” from
things out of her vegetable garden to loving compliments and kindly gestures,
which always seem to come back to her in abundance. I have seen that dynamic
play out over and over again in my 56 years as a priest. It has happened so
many times that I was moved to have these words engraved on my new tombstone:
"Simply Amazed - Forever Grateful!" That’s probably where I got
the idea of writing a column every week for fifteen years called An
Encouraging Word. In it, I doubled-down on the spiritual practice of
blessing people, not necessarily with material things, but even more so with
encouragement which cost me nothing to give.
"He who waters will be watered!" I was paid
nothing for my fifteen years of writing those weekly columns, but nothing
brought more blessings into my life than the practice of looking for people to
compliment and encourage and then expressing what I had seen in that column.
The idea was simple. I looked around for goodness to affirm rather than evils
to condemn. Indeed, “He who waters will himself be watered!” Jesus put it
this way, “Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed
together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap.” (Luke
6:38)
Ever since I have adopted this spiritual practice in a
serious way, I have also noticed in an ever-sharper focused way how many
people, consciously or unconsciously, engage in the mean and ultimately
self-defeating practice of withholding compliments. There may be even more
people who stick their heads out a bit and then pull them back in giving
praise, which may actually be even more cowardly. Henry Ward Beecher nailed it
when he said, “The meanest, most contemptible kind of praise is that which
first speak well of a man and then qualifies it with a “but.” Here is how that
goes! “Your hair looks great, but you need to lose some of
that weight!” "That was a good homily, but it
was much too long!
Why is it so hard for some people to offer a direct, clear
and unconditional compliment? Why does it seem like an “ascetical” practice
that goes against our nature? I guess it goes all the way back to Cain and
Abel. Cain became “resentful and crestfallen” because God looked with favor on
his brother’s offering. This sin is alive and well even in clerical circles.
Father Andrew Greeley once wrote (probably about the withholding he felt from
his fellow priests in Chicago) that “the worst thing a diocesan priest can do
is to get good at something.” I have felt what he was talking about. Several
years into writing my column, I overheard one of my brother priests say loud
enough for me to hear, "Oh, that Knott! He's never had a thought he hasn't
published!"
We have all heard the old saying, “What goes around, comes
around.” Paul expands on that wisdom when he wrote to the Galatians. “A person
will reap only what he sows. Let us not grow tired of doing good, for in due
time we shall reap our harvest, if we do not give up. So then, while we have
the opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who belong to the
family of the faith.” (Galatians 6:7-10)
If we need to be loved, need to be appreciated, need to be
noticed or need to be honored, the best way to get it is for us to extend love,
to show appreciation, to pay attention to
others and to honor them. Writing that column, looking for
opportunities to bless others, brought me more blessings than I could ever have
imagined. Hardly a day went by that I did not get a note, an email, a call or a
greeting of appreciation in public places by people I had never met. I still
receive encouraging words from people who remember it, even though I quit
writing that column nine years ago!
For me, writing that column was a spiritual practice. I
still try to carry on that practice of blessing people in various other ways.
By watering others, I have certainly been watered! I have
learned the truth that if you give to others what you need, it
comes back to you multiplied! I know that those of you
listening to me today know exactly what I mean. You have been generous and you
know your generosity always comes back to you! By watering others, you have
been watered! My only prayer at this time is that God has abundantly
rewarded all those people who have reached out to help us personally over the
years --- and there have been many! They have our deepest gratitude and my
prayer is that God has rewarded them a thousand times over for their generosity
to us!
