CHURCH CHAT #13

 

FIDELITY - KEEPING A PROMISE THROUGH THICK AND THIN

 

Every year, on April 8, hundreds of dog lovers gather in one of Tokyo's train stations to remember the loyalty and devotion of a university professor's pet dog, Hachiko.

This dog was only 18 months old when his master died of a stroke while at work. The next day, and for the next nine years, Hachiko went to the station and waited for his beloved master before walking home alone. Nothing and no one could discourage Hachiko from maintaining his nightly vigil. It was not until he followed his master in death nine years later that Hachiko failed to appear in his place at the railroad station. A bronze statue of this dog still stands at his waiting place outside the train station. Inspired by his faithfulness and loyalty, Hachiko was mounted and stuffed and is still on display at the Tokyo Museum of Art.

Fidelity! We have a whole lot of names for it: keeping a promise, carry through, doing what you said you'd do, keeping your word, putting your money where your mouth is, putting up and shutting up, being faithful, to name a few.

When I was ordained a priest, 56 years ago this May, I made a promise to remain faithful to my ministry till death. Let me share with you a few things I have learned about fidelity so far. 

(1) Fidelity is not static, by dynamic. By that, I mean you don't just commit in some ceremony and "puuuf," fidelity is guaranteed. It is always a way of life, rather than a fact of life. Fidelity is something that must be freely and consciously chosen every morning you put your feet to the floor, whether you're a marriage partner, a Sister or a priest. In a day’s time, life offers innumerable opportunities to be faithful or unfaithful. In fact, many of those around us today will actually encourage us and entice us to be unfaithful, rather than faithful. In other words, opportunities for infidelity, as well as some very convincing rhetoric will try to entice us to be unfaithful. Like love, fidelity can often be demandingly harsh, especially when you have to say "no" to things that look good, smell good, taste good and feel good - all for the sake of a higher good.

(2) Those who make commitments to fidelity must count the cost before they make it and be able to pay the price after they make it. In marriage, you must not be able to remain faithful yourself, you have to marry someone else who has what it takes to remain faithful. One should never make a lifetime commitment without having what it takes to keep it. Before one takes such a serious leap as a life-time commitment, one must be able to take baby steps before big steps. Before one makes a lifetime commitment, it is a good idea to see if one can make small commitments and keep them. Nemo dat quod non habet. One cannot give what one does not have. If you never keep your word, never follow through on even small promises, always take the latest best offer no matter what you told someone else yesterday, never finish a project, never can be counted on to show up, then you are not ready to be a priest, Sister or get married. 

It is here that the Church gets a bum rap. Catholic marriages are deliberately hard to enter - and that's because Jesus told us those who enter them, enter them for life. Permanence of marriage is not something the Church came up with. This permanence is something the Church was instructed to uphold. Therefore, the Church makes a big deal in trying to find out whether the two people marrying can not only make a commitment for life, but even more so, be able to keep it over a lifetime! Seminary students and Novice Sisters are brought through an even more strenuous process to find out whether they should be ordained or professed, but even more so, whether they can stay ordained or professed.

(3) Fidelity is often presented as a horrible cross to bear with rewards only in the afterlife. Very little is said about the payoffs of fidelity. I believe that fidelity has pay-offs similar to regular exercise and a good diet. It's not easy, but it is ultimately good for you and for society.  God knows we have seen the pain that uncommitted partners, infidelity, latest best offers, grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence thinking have inflicted on innocent marriage partners, families and especially children. Fidelity teaches you a lot about yourself. It teaches you to work through problems, rather than run from them. It helps you focus your energy in a more effective way. You learn to be reliable and know that you have others to rely on, in a world that is becoming more slippery by the day. 

(4) One does not just make a promise of fidelity and hope for the best or merely tough it out. One must tend one's garden, pay attention on a daily basis and do all one can to protect one's commitment from compromise and contamination. I have learned one thing from hundreds and hundreds of failed marriages. They were not killed. They simply starved to death, day after day, from lack of care and feeding!

One of my heroes is Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a French Jesuit and a scientist. Because of his new ideas, he was silenced by Rome in 1926. He was urged by many to leave, not only the Jesuits, but also the Church. He decided rather to "go on to the end and with a smile if possible." Why? He said, "When I took my vows I committed myself. To break them would be an offense against honor." "One must work from within," he said. "Those who leave no longer have any influence. The ideas now considered revolutionary will be generally accepted...The day will come; there can be no possible doubt about it."

Faithful God, help us develop the inner strength and courage we need to be faithful too!           

THE THREE THINGS NEEDED IN TIMES OF STRESS

 

I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition 

of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power 

and love and self-control.

II Timothy 1:1-8

Paul is in prison when he writes to a very discouraged young missionary named Timothy. It was Paul who had ordained an enthusiastic young Timothy. Now he writes to a young man overwhelmed and drowning in discouragement in his ministry. Things were falling apart. Timothy wants to give it up and come home. The "fire" he once had in him was going out. Paul tells Timothy to "fan into flame once again that gift that God gave you when you were ordained." His advice applies to those of you whose marriages or vowed life have grown lukewarm, as well as those who have lost their enthusiasm for practicing their faith!

Paul tells Timothy that God does not give us a spirit of cowardice, where we back off from life's challenges, give into our lazy streaks, take the easy way out and wimp out when things get tough.

Rather than a spirit of cowardice, Paul tells Timothy that God gives us three qualities that enable us to face apathy, danger, fear or setbacks with self-possession, confidence and resolution.

1. Dunymis - First, the Spirit gives us strength in the sense of adequacy to meet life's challenges effectively, the strength to do well what needs to be done. Some translations use the word power, but the word power has so many bad connotations today that the word strength is more true to what Paul means here. I am reminded here of Gideon's question to God when he was called to lead a vast number of people. "How can I possibly do what you ask?" God answered him, "I will be with you!" When needed, the Holy Spirit has been known to give people super-human strength. People have been known to run into burning buildings to rescue people, lift cars off people and to run great distances in times of crisis that they could never do otherwise. Today, it takes dunymis, strength, to raise children and keep a marriage life-giving. Today, it takes dunymis, strength, to remain engaged, energized and effective in priesthood and religious life.

2. Agape - Second, the Spirit gives us the ability to offer practical helpfulness even under pressure. Our translation today uses the word love, but that is sometimes associated in our culture with warm and fuzzy feelings. What the Spirit gives us is competence to deal effectively with a situation by being able to offer practical help to others. Sometimes we don't know what to do and where to turn, but the Spirit has been known to show us just what to do. Firemen, policemen, flight attendants and emergency room doctors and nurses need to offer more than warm fuzzy feelings. They need to be able to deal effectively with the situations in front of them. Those who care for sick children and elderly parents know that it takes more than warm fuzzy feelings. It takes the ability to function effectively even when it doesn’t feel good.

3. Sophronismos - Third, the Spirit gives us wisdom, but a very special kind of wisdom - the wisdom to know what to do in the face of panic, the know-how to keep your cool under pressure. (SOPHRONISMOS PRESS is the name I have given my little self-publishing empire – 40 books so far!) When we are overwhelmed with tragedy and loss, we often feel that we cannot cope. Those of you facing old age and bad health have days when you don’t think you can cope. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we are able to stand our ground and handle things we never thought imaginable. Parents who lose their children in tragic accidents, married people who lose their spouses through terminal diseases. people who care for elderly parents over the long haul all need to know how to remain calm and what to do, even in the face of panic. A flight attendant running up and down the isle of a crippled airplane screaming, “we goina’ die” is a menace. He or she has to be able to remain calm and tell the people to fasten their seat belts and brace themselves for impact, no matter how bad it looks!” When the Cathedral walls cracked the whole 1852 building almost fell in a rubble. I can remember standing on the sidewalk watching it. I remember saying to myself, “Ron, you do not have the luxury of falling apart. You are pastor of that congregation next Sunday, with or without this building.” That is what “sophronismos” is all about!

A VOCATION: EVERYBODY HAS ONE

          

Come after me and I will make you fishers of men.

At once they left their nets and followed him.

Matthew 4:12-23

What do you want to be when you grow up?” A lawyer? A farmer? A teacher? An actor? A doctor? What do you want to be when you grow up? A scientist? An engineer? A musician? An investment counselor? An accountant? What do you want to do when you grow up? An astronaut? A politician? An artist? A writer? You have heard these questions since you were a child! No doubt, you have been counseled, directed and pressured to choose one. You have been told that certain professions should be considered because they pay well and warned that others should be avoided because they don’t! In making your choice, you are, no doubt, under the gun to please parents, counselors, teachers and peers!

“What do you want to do when you grow up?” I believe that that question is the wrong question! The only question that really counts is the question: “What does God want you to do when you grow up?” I am reminded about a young man from the Bible named Jeremiah who argues with God about his call. God tells Jeremiah: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you." Jeremiah argues back: "Look God, I am too young. I’m not a good speaker!" God snaps back: "Don’t say you’re too young. Don’t be afraid. I will be with you to help you. I will put my words in your mouth."

In the gospel Jesus calls some men to what we call today, “second career vocations.” They were earning their living as fishermen, the same thing their fathers, grandfather and great grandfathers had done for as long as they remembered. Jesus calls them to “follow him” and so they left their nets, left their boat and their father - “at once” - and followed him.

My friends, each one of you is precious in God’s eyes. You are special. You are a unique expression of God’s love and creativity. In all the world there is no other person exactly like you. There never has been or never will be another person just like you! Besides being special and unique, you are not here by accident. You were sent here for a purpose. You have a mission. You have something to do here that can be done by no one else. Your responsibility is to find out what your mission is and then carry it out with all your might. Your purpose here is commonly called “your vocation” or “your call.” Because it is God who calls you to your special task, God will be there to help you carry it out.

With a hundred people pulling you this way and that, saying that “you ought to be this” or “you ought to be that,” how do you hear what God is calling you to do? We hear God by listening to our own hearts. To be able to hear God speaking to us, we must spend some quality time with God and with ourselves. That means that sometimes we need to turn off the TV, the radio, the head phones, the computer, the advice givers and just be quiet! That means you have to leave your friends, you family and your neighbors once in a while, just to be alone in the presence of God. For many people, just being quiet is extremely hard to do and it’s scary! Many people are not used to being without noise and without being with people every waking moment of the day. When we go off and listen to our own hearts, we will hear our call, our vocation, where we need to go.

A very few people hear God’s voice directly like Jeremiah, Peter and Andrew, James and John, seems to have done. More people hear their calls as “a hunch,” “a quiet knowing” or “a small still voice” that never seems to go away. They just know in their guts. Most people hear God’s call through the invitation of others, those who say to us over and over again, “you’d make a good doctor,” “you’d be a great teacher,” “you’d make a good priest,” “you’ll make a great parent.” If you hear people saying one of those things, over and over again, you ought to listen to see if your heart agrees! They just might be messengers from God himself!

What if we listen for God’s call? What if we don’t? God wants the best for us! If we do what he calls us to do, we will be ourselves, we will be what he created us to be. We will feel, and we will know, that we are in the right place. Our life’s work will fit who we are. When we follow our calls, we will be happy, not a “ha-ha” happy, but a deep down satisfaction, in spite of challenges.

However, sometimes people know what they are supposed to do in life, but they don’t do it because they are scared of its demands, scared of what other people will think, scared of failure or scared of disappointing their parents, peers and friends. We pay a price for not listening to God’s call. We pay a price for pleasing others instead of becoming who we are. When people go against their call and do something else, their lives will seem to be out of sync, they will be frustrated, their hearts will not be in their jobs or professions. They will go through life with a low grade depression, a restlessness that will follow them wherever they go! Then, when they are old and look back, they will be filled with regret, anger and frustration that life somehow passed them by!

Everybody has a vocation, a call from God, to do something for him, to help him carry out some part of his work in the world. A call is not so much about what we want to do, but what God wants us to do! The famous Albert Schweitzer put it this way, “The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” The famous Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. put it this way, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?” Some of you are called to help God carry out his mission by being teachers, doctors, scientists and food producers. Others of you are called to help God carry out his mission by being politicians, lawyers and writers. Others of you are called to carry out God’s mission by being social workers, artists and scientists. Still others are called to help God carry out his mission by having children, by being a good husband or wife or by living the single life. Finally, some of you are called to be priests, sisters, brothers and full time lay ministers. The church especially today needs good priests: people to preach the gospel, celebrate the sacraments and lead our parishes spiritually. According to some recent studies, no matter what the media says, 94% of all priests are happy or very happy as priests. In spite of the tragedy of the sexual abuse scandal, priests still have one of the highest satisfaction rates around, compared to other professions! But whatever your call, you are called to help God carry out his mission in the world in some way! As St. Theresa put it, “Anyone who realizes that he or she is favored by God will have the courage necessary for doing great things!”

Young adults! You have a call! Your job is to hear your call and dare to be all that you can be! Let me end this homily by quoting these words of Marianne Williamson, one of my favorite quotes. It's from A Return to Love.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous –

actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people

won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.

It is not just in some of us: it is in everyone,

and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously

give other people permission to do the same.