"YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP" #30

 

THIS CALLS FOR AN IMMEDIATE INTERVENTION

On one of my European backpacking trips, my friends and I were supposed to meet some of the friends we met in Taize to go kayaking down a mountain river in Austria. We were going to meet up and camp out in a campground along side of the river. I was apprehensive about the whole idea, but even more so when I saw the river. Because it had been raining all day, whole trees were coming down the rushing river. In my heart of hearts, I was very relieved by the scene because I knew my fear of kayaking had an excuse. Because it was raining so much by the time we arrived at the river, I knew setting up a tent was out of the question. The hotel either looked too expensive or it was fully booked so the four of us decided to sleep in the car in the hotel parking lot.

Not too long after we fell asleep in the darkened parking lot, we were awakened by a person moving around outside our car. We thought someone was stealing our car because he was standing close to the door handle and digging into his pants pockets, maybe for a knife, a gun our some burglar tool so we all yelled together "get out of here" trying to halt his intrusion! Obviously, he did not know the dark car was full of people and he was only looking for a secluded place to relieve himself! We finally figured out that he was urinating on our car! All the yelling, I believe shocked him into running off urinating in his own pants!

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I remember one particular situation when I was at my wits end trying to lead ten students from southern Kentucky through Paris, France, at the end of one of our Taize trips. They were as clueless as children and hard-headed as adults. We were standing in the lobby of a hotel at which we had no reservations. I was trying to negotiate enough rooms with a staff that refused to speak English, even though I knew that most hotel staff people in Paris were trained to deal with English speakers. I had taken a couple of courses in French when I was in college, but the French have no patience with people who murder their language, especially Americans. While I was struggling to negotiate in French, the students were loudly shouting things like, "I want to room with him!" or "I want to room with her! After several minutes of this chaos and being worn out with them already, I took the handful of room keys, took my own room key out, and threw the rest of the keys at the students! I yelled, "Here! Figure it out for yourselves!" I left them there and went to my room, leaving them in the lobby to fend for themselves! They did figure it out or maybe the hotel staff decided to speak to them in English and help them figure it out! Rested, I managed to get them to the airport the next morning for the trip home!

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Back when I was doing weddings as a young priest in the 1970s, I tried to accommodate special requests and ended up doing things that made even me uncomfortable. Thinking back, I remember putting my foot down at least two times.

One Catholic couple had the nerve to tell me that they really did not want "Bible readings" during their wedding Mass. They said they preferred readings from THE PROPHET by Kahlil Gibran, published in 1923. Born a Maronite Christian, Gibran was influenced not only by his own religion but also by the Baha'i Faith, Islam, and the mysticism of the Sufis.

Another Catholic couple requested a popular Roberta Flack song called "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face." It is a nice song that was very popular back in the 1970s. I listened to it with an open mind, but decided to put my foot down as a communion hymn when it came to verse three which began with "The first time ever I lay with you!" I did not think it was a good idea to have someone sing about their pre-marital sex especially at Communion time during a Catholic wedding!

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At the Cathedral of the Assumption in downtown Louisville, we had many street people milling around all the time because we fed them at noon everyday and it had become a panhandler's paradise. I was usually quite patient with them and I even defended them on occasion. However, there was one time I simply had to put my foot down. It was at a wedding. I was not actually presiding at this particular wedding, but I was standing in the back signaling when various members of the wedding party should start down the aisle. Just as the bride started her march down the aisle, one of the street people went up to the bride and tugged on her arm requesting a handout! I had to catch up with the bride and her panhandler and coax him away from her with a strict warning of what I would do if it ever happened again!

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I remember one sad funeral in particular. It was the mother of a middle-aged mentally handicapped man. The two of them lived together and there were no relatives to do wellness checks on them. The short of it was, the mother died and the mentally handicapped man obviously did not want to let her go, so he did not call anyone. It was only when the neighbors began to smell a strong odor coming from the house that the police was called to do a wellness check and found that she had been dead for a few weeks.

I was contacted to do the funeral at the Cathedral. I remember the undertaker pulling me aside as they were bringing her casket into the church. "Father, I don't want to tell you what to do, but we did what we could to seal this casket, but if there is ever a time to use lots of incense, this is it!" We really smoked up the place! It worked! The whole place smelled especially good that day in spite of what could have been coming from the casket!

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! YOU MAY HAVE A RARE AUDITORY DISORDER!

Misophonia (selective sound sensitivity syndrome) is a disorder of decreased tolerance to specific sounds or their associated stimuli or cues. These cues, known as "triggers", are experienced as unpleasant or distressing and tend to evoke strong negative emotional, physiological, and behavioral responses not seen in most other people. Misophonia and the behaviors that people with misophonia often use to cope with it (such as avoidance of "triggering" situations or using hearing protection) can adversely affect the ability to achieve life goals, communicate effectively, and enjoy social situations. Originating within the field of audiology in 2001, the condition remained largely undescribed in the clinical and research literature until 2013, when a group of psychiatrists at Amsterdam University Medical Center published a detailed misophonia case series and proposed the condition as a "new psychiatric disorder" with defined diagnostic criteria. At present, misophonia is not listed as a diagnosable condition in the DSM-5-TR, ICD-11 or any similar manual, making it difficult for most people with the condition to receive official clinical diagnoses of misophonia or billable medical services. An international panel of misophonia experts has rigorously established a consensus definition of misophonia as a medical condition, and since its initial publication in 2022, this definition has been widely adopted by clinicians and researchers studying the disorder.

When confronted with specific "trigger" stimuli, people with misophonia experience a range of negative emotions, most notably anger, extreme irritation, disgust, anxiety, and sometimes rage. The emotional response is often accompanied by a range of physical symptoms (e.g., muscle tension, increased heart rate, and sweating) that may reflect activation of the fight-or-flight response. Unlike the discomfort seen in hyperacusis, misophonic reactions do not seem to be elicited by the sound's loudness but rather by the trigger's specific pattern or meaning to the hearer. Many people with misophonia cannot trigger themselves with self-produced sounds, or if such sounds do cause a misophonic reaction, it is substantially weaker than if another person produced the sound.

Misophonic reactions can be triggered by many different auditory, visual, and audiovisual stimuli, most commonly mouth/nose/throat sounds (particularly those produced by chewing or eating/drinking), repetitive sounds produced by other people or objects, and sounds produced by animals. The term misokinesia has been proposed to refer specifically to misophonic reactions to visual stimuli, often repetitive movements made by others. Once a trigger stimulus is detected, people with misophonia may have difficulty distracting themselves from the stimulus and may experience suffering, distress, and/or impairment in social, occupational, or academic functioning. Many people with misophonia are aware that their reactions to misophonic triggers are disproportionate to the circumstances, and their inability to regulate their responses to triggers can lead to shame, guilt, isolation, and self-hatred, as well as worsening hypervigilance about triggers, anxiety, and depression. Studies have shown that misophonia can cause problems in school, work, social life, and family.

IF YOU ARE JUST ORDINARY, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOD

 

Some of the scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus, “Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.” He said to them in reply, “An evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it except the sign of Jonah the prophet.

Matthew 12:38-42

When I was growing up down in the country, we used a few expressions that came to mind as I read today’s gospel. Those expressions were used when someone got too “hifalutin” for the rest of us! “He’s getting too big for his britches!” "He needs to be cut down to size!" “Who does she think she is, the Queen of Sheba?” “She is just too full of herself!”

Growing up in Meade County, there were only a dozen or so of us in the small town of Rhodelia, so we were always ready to cut each other down to size with remarks like those! Jesus grew up in the small town of Nazareth, and in in one place in the gospel he is back home for a visit. His reputation proceeded him. Instead of rejoicing in the success of his ministry, they basically are cutting him down to size by asking “Just who do you think you are, anyway?” We know you! You are one of us! You are just the son of the carpenter, Joseph, and Mary is your mother! You don’t stand out all that much! The story ends with these words, “And they took offence at him!” You need to be from a small town to really understand the sting of those words!

The bottom line of this gospel is that God comes to us especially in the very ordinary, rather than the spectacular and dramatic, events of life. The Scribes and Pharisees were always looking for “signs” – dramatic and spectacular happenings and personalities to “prove” that God was active in the world. Truly, God is to be found in the ordinary events, in the ordinary moments and in the ordinary people of this world. That is why so many people missed Jesus when he was here on this earth. He was so ordinary, while they were looking for something spectacular. While they were looking “out there” and “up there,” while they were looking among the famous and the powerful and the well-connected, God’s “sign” was standing right in front of them. They missed him because he was just “too ordinary.”

Our traditional Christmas story is told by the evangelist, Luke. Luke wrote for the underdog, the little people, the left-out, the losers of the world. When he tells the story, he emphasizes the dismalness of Christ’ birth: a poor young mother delivering her baby in a barn amid the smell of dung and donkey breath; greasy, crusty, bumbling sheep herders; doves dropping their stuff from the rafters; the restlessness of cows and no one to care. Luke wants his readers to know that God comes, not just for the rich and famous and powerful, the young and healthy, but especially for the lowest of the low, in the most desperate of circumstances. God comes for, and loves, every human being who has ever lived on this planet no matter how insignificant they may be in the eyes of others.

Where should we look for God working in our world today? Fatima? Medjugorje? Lourdes? I am sure God has worked there, but we don’t have to go to those places to see God working. He is working right here, right under our noses, right now in this very place! We just have the eyes to see it! We just need to look at this place, and the people in it, through the lens of faith! Miracles are happening every day, right here and right now! As Jesus said in the Gospel of Luke (10:23-24) “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it."

IT'S A MATTER OF BALANCE! IT'S BOTH PRAYER AND WORK!

                        

Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me. ”The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

Luke 10:38-42

Because I didn’t really understand it, I never used to like this Martha and Mary story very much.  In fact, I used to believe that Martha got a bum deal here.  Here she is slaving away in a hot kitchen, trying to get a meal on the table, while her sister Mary has parked herself in the living room with the guests, listening in on the living room conversation.  Even when poor Martha comes into the living room, mopping her brow with her apron, to ask for a little help, she not only doesn’t get it, but she also gets a quick reprimand for being such a workaholic! I have always felt sorry for her for that put down! She probably ran back into the kitchen sobbing! 

These days, I understand the story a little better. Jesus is not condemning good deeds or hard work in order to praise contemplation.  In the sequence of the gospel, Jesus has just finished telling the story of the Good Samaritan, in which doing good deeds was praised.  In fact, Jesus ends that story by telling his disciples, and us, to go and do the same as the Good Samaritan.  What he is doing here is simply reminding Martha of the primacy of listening to the Lord and also reminding her why, and for whom, she is doing all her work to begin with. He is reminding her that she is loved whether she gets dinner on the table on time or not!  So, this story is meant to balance the story of the Good Samaritan.  It’s not a matter of either/or but of both/and.  It’s a matter of balancing action and contemplation, a matter of work and prayer! The Benedictine monks over at St. Meinrad  practice what they call “ora et labora” – “prayer and work!”

Now I suppose this story can be read on many levels.  In fact, in the fifty-six years that I have preached on this text, it has spoken to me on a variety of levels, depending on where I was in my own experience.  At some point, when I had picked it up and read it over many, many times, all of a sudden it took on a new meaning that day.  As I read it over and over, I kept saying to myself: “This story is about self-worth.  This is truly about self-worth!”

I know these two women.  They moved into my head years ago and they have been arm-wrestling ever since about who is going to be in charge of my thinking.  For most of my life I’ve sided with the busy and anxious Martha.  But recently, as I’ve gotten older, Martha is really getting on my nerves.  Mary, after all, is the smart one.  Both of these characters want to serve the Lord, but they do it for different reasons.  Martha is that part of me that believes that I am not really worth much unless I do a lot of work to prove my worth.  Martha is that part of me that is always anxious, always lecturing myself and always saying to myself that I ought to be ashamed of myself for not being perfect.  Martha is that part of me that believes that if I accomplish a lot, if I can keep proving myself then maybe I can make up for my obvious deficiencies.  Martha is that side of me that believes that my worth is directly tied into what I can get done.  If you have a Martha in your head, I am sure, like me, you too are totally exhausted most of the time by your own busyness about many things.

I’ve just recently discovered Mary’s point of view.  Mary has a message for those of you who feel you “aren’t worth much” because you “can’t do much anymore.” Mary knows that she is already loved, she has already done enough and so she doesn’t have to do a thing about it except enjoy the fact that she is loved.  Mary is that side of me that wants to believe that God already loves me, no matter what, just as I am right now, whether I do anything this week or not.  Mary is that part of me that wants to believe that God loves me and I am worth something just because I am, not because I am a priest, not because I’ve earned a few degrees or because I can pastor three or more parishes at once.  Martha always leaves me anxious, but Mary leaves me encouraged and gives me mental rest and peace of mind.  Martha is always trying to do something to get God to love her while Mary understands that she is already loved by God.

The monks at Gethsemani Abbey are the "Marys" of the church. Like Mary who sat in the living room listening to Jesus, they are contemplatives. They are known especially for the amount of time they pray and mediate.  The "Marthas" of the church are the ones who are always obsessing about doing things. We call them "workaholics!" They are the ones driven to ask the monks what they do besides pray and meditate. They are always relieved to hear that they "produce fruitcakes and fudge." Now they have given up making cheese, some may even think they are giving into laziness! Underneath their prejudice, is a belief that anything beyond work is a waste of time! 

I read a story several years ago about how many widows there are in Florida! It seems that many of their husbands died of heart attacks trying to "get ahead" so they could kick back and live it up someday!  Sadly, they worked themselves into an early grave!  (Having been labeled an “old lady magnet” myself, it crossed my mind that this may just be a good time to move to Florida! I could probably be happier than a pig in a corncrib…..but I digress!)

Many of us go through life with that same work-work-work prejudice. Many of us grew up believing that God’s love is conditional - it's based on how much we do for God! We grew up believing that God loves us when we are good, quits loving us when we are bad and starts loving us again when we shape up. Like Martha, we grew up believing we needed to prove our worth to God by doing good deeds! That is actually very poor theology.  Mary teaches us today that God’s love for humankind does not have to be earned.  True, as we learned in the Good Samaritan story, God calls us all to serious action and thoughtful behaviors as signs of our gratitude for all God has done for us, but God never withholds love from us, no matter what we do or fail to do. That, my sisters and brothers, is why the Scriptures are called “good news.”

Let me end this homily with a humorous story about a time I was preaching on today’s reading. I was having Mass at the old Sacred Heart Home on Payne Street. The Carmelite Sisters had closed their convent on Newburg Road and moved into Sacred Heart Home. All through the homily that day, I could hear one of the nuns snickering on my right side. After Mass, she came up to me and said, “Finally, someone understands me! My name is Sister Martha and I spent most of my life as a cook for the Carmelite Sisters on Newburg Road!  I so appreciated your sympathy for Martha in today’s gospel!” 

She caused me to laugh to myself all the way home!