Saturday, March 1, 2025

"YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP! 2025 #9

Last year, every Saturday I featured  a post called "Wisdom for 2024" 
This year, every Saturday, I will post a series of unusual personal experiences 
from the past under the title "You Can't Make This Stuff Up."
Sometimes, names or locations will be changed or disguised to protect the guilty! 
Besides, I am retired! What can they do, fire me?

 

MY SLEEP DRIVING EPISODE

This is a warning against taking the sleep medication AMBIEN. For years, especially when I was traveling long distances and especially when I was making trips down to the islands, I had a prescription for AMBIEN to help me sleep on airplanes and in noisy island cities. I would break them in half just to help me doze off. 

One night, when I couldn't fall asleep at home no matter how much I tried, I took half of an AMBIEN. I had a doctor's appointment the next day to get something for the flu I felt was coming on. That was very much on my mind when I went to sleep around 8:00 pm. Well, I woke up at 2:00 am thinking it was 2:00 pm and I was late for my doctor's appointment. 

I got up, got dressed and skipped my morning shower. I left my phone at home and got in my car and left the garage door open as I drove off! I could not see the road, only the edge near the passenger's side.
I did not go my usual way on Lexington Road, but turned onto Newburg Road past Bellarmine and headed up the hill toward the Expressway. As I was going up the hill, I hit a median and a sign with both front tires. It flattened both tires and leveled the sign.  Since it was 2:00 am in the morning, a few cars were out and started honking at me! I got the car back on the road and turned onto the Expressway. I remember driving very slowly on the Expressway with both front tires flat. I have no memory after that until I was parked in front of the doctor's office. It was then I realized that I had driven from my condo to his office unaware that I was actually "sleep driving" - one of the known side-effects of AMBIEN that I learned about after the fact!

I remember slowly coming to consciousness as the car got colder and colder in the winter temperature after I turned off the key. Slowly I realized that I had no phone to make a call, my front tires were flat so I could not drive anywhere and the doctor's office would not be open for several hours.  I had enough gas to turn the car heater on and off every couple of half-hours to keep from freezing. 

By 9:00 am when the office opened, I was wide awake. Embarrassed, I went in, looking quite disheveled, as if nothing had happened. I asked the receptionist if she would call my friends at Coat's Cars and Trucks to bring their wrecker because of the two flats and a damaged bumper and if she would call a taxi to take me home! 

I had to go back to the doctor's office a week later. I asked the receptionist if I looked "strange" the day last time I was in there! She said, "No, I didn't notice anything different!"  (That really hurt my feelings! I had been un-showered, disheveled and unkempt!)

After reading about AMBIEN, I no longer would dare take it. People have been arrested for drunk driving, cooking a meal in the middle of the night and even having sex with strangers unknowingly!  I wish it had been a multiple choice question. I would have chosen differently! I like to cook! 

Thursday, February 27, 2025

HE'S A WINNER FOR SURE

A SHOUT-OUT TO DESALES HIGH SCHOOL 



This essay is so good that I decided to reprint it in this blog post. 
It was originally in the Archdiocesan Catholic Connection Newsletter. This young
man should be preaching or maybe he will someday re-start my old column
 in The Record called "An Encouraging Word."
Father J. Ronald Knott


Below is the winning essay in the Catholic Education Foundation’s annual essay contest for high school students. Students are asked to write an essay about a topic related to the our local high schools and the national celebration of Catholic Schools Week.

Mission of Christ

By Colin Wheatley, sophomore, DeSales High School


In my community, I foster faith by showing others what my faith has personally given me. I live my life by Jesus’ example every day, and by doing so, can show others how faith has changed me and how it can change them if they open themselves up to it. Whether it be a school project or an average day, I lead by example. I show and encourage integrity, respect, and kindness through my everyday actions, as well as an inclusive environment where everyone has a voice and their ideas are heard.

 

In the past, present, and I guarantee the future, I have always and will continue to perform acts of kindness without much thought towards the negative consequences. Even if this causes a situation to end unfavorably for me, if it helps just one person, I will think of it as a positive. l will never change this way of action because of the trait it gives me: the ability to be bold. Jesus was a man who was outside of the societal norm. Instead of shying away from lepers, He instead embraced them and treated them as humans. He knew that he himself might be infected, but He never let that fact stop him from taking care of them. He treated sinners without a trace of contempt, just as He would treat his neighbors. This meant that some people stuck with Jesus and worshiped him at his feet, while others persecuted him and eventually crucified him. Even if Jesus knew of the consequences that his actions might cause, He decided to do what was right. The boldness that I have obtained from the way I have lived gives me the opportunity to live by Christ’s teachings and call others to as well, something more important to me than anything. 


Jesus’ inclusivity was something of a miracle in and of itself. It was a form of true kindness that not just anyone is able to practice in their life. He included his neighbors, enemies, the sick, the disabled, and anyone else who followed him. Jesus recognized how important the aspect of including others was and acted it out, something that many struggle with. Just including a single person may help them to realize their worth and how they were made in the image of God. I realize that Jesus calls everyone to his table, and as a follower of Christ, I feel that I should enact the same inclusivity that He showed his people. In life, everyone has a purpose no matter how small, and the same holds true for something as tiny as a group science project. I am able to see this and guarantee that everyone around me is able to show their purpose instead of just having one. 


At DeSales, themes such as respect and integrity are heavily emphasized. Through God, integrity has been made easier for me to display to my peers because of His might. God sees everything at all times, and there is no way to hide what you are doing whether it be good or bad. I realize this and try to please God with every action I do in life. There have been so many times I have fallen to where I have lost track, but just knowing that God will forever be there to help me stand again is more than enough motivation for me to keep on trying. I believe that through display and goodwill, others around me will also be more inclined to do the same. Even the slightest act of kindness can have a revolutionary effect.


Everyone’s journey with God is unique. However, what I believe is most important in everyone’s journey is that it’s not only with God, but with the people around them. Not only can support be found, but the influence that they may have on those around them could inspire them to start a journey of their own. Through my walk with God and my faith community, I have been able to lead by example by taking action, including everyone around me, and living as Christ would. Just as Paul says in Philippians 4: 13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Tuesday, February 25, 2025

FROM POPULAR TRENDS, DELIVER ME, OH LORD!

HERE ARE A FEW OF MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS





I thought it was just ivy caps, nose rings, neck and face tattoos and earlobe stretchers, now it's "all body deodorant" commercials! 

Men, young and old, in "ivy caps" have always disgusted me for some reason. They remind me of old English men roaming the countryside with a hunting dog. I have no idea why I find that style of hat disgusting, but I do for some unknown reason, especially the plaid ones. To me, they just scream "sad old man!"   

Women and men with nose rings remind me of my childhood when we were forced to put copper "rings" in pigs' noses to keep them from rooting in the dirt and under fences to escape. 

Some tattoos are interesting to look at, especially if they are "quality" tattoos and discretely placed, but I do not understand why nice looking young people would tattoo their necks and faces with graffiti. Like all trends, what is "in" this year could be totally "out" next year. I can't imagine what these people will look like when they are in their 80s and 90s! Are they that starved for attention? Is it just another form of self-mutilation like "cutting?" Maybe they just haven't been around long enough to think about living that long? 

I have watched "Dr. Pimple Popper" (Dr. Sandra Lee), the TV dermatologist and cosmetic surgeon try to repair a stretched earlobe and remove keloids cause by old ear piercings - gross, painful and expensive! 

Now that LUME has invented "whole body deodorant" and put it on the market, everybody has started marketing their own brand of "whole body deodorant." This leaves me with a couple of serious questions. Isn't this just another one of those "trends?" What is so dangerous about spraying your old deodorant "everywhere?" 


Sunday, February 23, 2025

CHRISTIANITY, YES! ---- CHRISTIAN NATIONALISM, NO!

 

Love your enemies and do good to them. Lend expecting nothing back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you. The measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.

Luke 6:27-38

What we have today in this powerful gospel passage is a description of “basic” Christianity. Some recent studies tell us that around 70% of all Americans claim to be "Christian," but that only about 6% let their understanding of "Christianity" affect their everyday lives. So, the old question to us is this, “If it were a crime to be a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict us?”

This is why I find the “Christian Nationalism” movement very scary and troublesome. Unfortunately, many of those who are most vocal about claiming the title "Christian" are out to make "Christianity" synonymous with bigotry, meanness and repression in its name.

We live in an hour when a significant minority in US Churches - Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox - increasingly believes that the way to save both American Christianity and America itself is to embrace Christian Nationalism. People who subscribe to this thinking believe that if we will only give the state the power to impose “Christian values” on what they perceive to be an increasingly godless society, then all will be well because Christianity will undergo a revival and America will be great again. However, imposing Christian values on others goes against the teaching of our Church and it poses a threat to our democracy. Even Jesus rejected the temptation to align himself with political power when Satan presented that option to him in the desert when he was discerning his ministry path. We read about that rejected temptation annually on the first Sunday of Lent.  

I am not as angry at such religious fanatics, with their narrow political agendas and religious arrogance, who would have us believe that they are the only true Christians, as I am angry at the rest of us who are letting them get away with it! I consider myself a person trying his best to be a "Christian,” but I do not share their narrow political agendas nor their religious arrogance. I'll be damned if I am going to let them dismiss me and claim that only people who think like them are "truly Christian!”

How will people know that we are disciples of Jesus? The gospel answer is that it is our love for one another which should make us stand out in the community as "Jesus-like!" Yet, the facts reveal that some self-professed "Christians" can be just as nasty, just as hateful and just as selfish as anybody else! As the famous Gandhi once said, “I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

Just look at the public behavior of some of the men and women who self-righteously proclaim they are "Christian," but engage in rhetoric that is intolerably non-Christian and language that would be profoundly offensive in any authentic Christian community. Venomous hate is now preached daily under the banner of reclaiming our "Christian culture!" The same people who scream "family values" are teaching a whole generation that it is OK to encourage vicious personal assaults on political candidates they disagree with!  I do not understand that at all! I have voted for both political parties. I have prayed for and encouraged both those for whom I voted and those for whom I did not vote. I thought it was a "family value" to respect legitimate authority and then vote them out in the next election. Can you imagine a country whose citizens refused to respect any elected officials except those they voted for? Well, we are there! Can you imagine our church if individual members only respected Popes they "liked?" Well, we are there! Nastiness and meanness are epidemic, even in so-called "Christian" communities and sometimes especially in some so-called "Christian" communities!

It is by living out the ways, the works and the words of compassion, as taught by Jesus, that we will leave God's signature on the church and the world. It's really millions of little things, done out of love by millions of Christians, that will transform this world, not the hateful words and mean-spirited actions of "wolves in sheep's clothing!" Christians are called to resist such behavior, even when those actions are coming out of the mouths of the enemies of Christianity. Did Jesus not tell us explicitly to "love our enemies" and "do good to those who hate you?" 

Let me give you three simple examples of what I think it means “to love.” The first example came in the mail when I was pastor of our Cathedral. It was a "thank you note" from someone whom we had helped from our community service fund to which parishioners generously contributed. It was addressed to all of us. "Dear Members of Assumption. Even though I don't attend your church, you didn't try to force me into your beliefs on the grounds that I needed your help. I know now that there is still unconditional love left in our world." This note was signed by a woman and her children. I kept the note.

The second example came from my mother. When we were growing up in the country, with seven kids in the family, food was never wasted. When we had fried chicken, my mother even fried the chicken back and ate it herself. I grew up believing my mother loved chicken backs. I was much older before it dawned on me -- she wanted us to have the best parts. She was willing to take what was left over, out of love for us.

The third example occurred one Friday when I had the opportunity to go to the Islamic Center on River Road. The Muslim community invited some of us from the Cathedral Heritage Foundation for lunch and to attend a Muslim prayer service. We were respected and welcomed. We had reached out to include them in our inter-faith Thanksgiving and rededication celebrations. They reached out to us in return with this loving gesture.

My friends, this is the heart of our religion. this is what it means to be a true Christian. This must be present in every Christian's life or else all of their other religious practices are one big silly joke! This is not an optional activity. This is essential for discipleship. Often, religious people confuse loving someone else with approving, or agreeing with, everything they do. How ridiculous! How dangerous! Why can't we help another person for their good, and not for what we get out of it, as the Cathedral did for that struggling single mother? Why can't we freely and quietly “give each other the best pieces of chicken,” as my mother did, instead of always competing for the best? Why can't we be good, strong and faithful Catholics and at the same time have a curiosity about, and a reverent respect for, people who have a different religion and who sincerely try to live it? This is what it means to love one another. This is our trademark as Christians and disciples of Jesus. This is the heart of the matter.

Religious militants are very frustrated today with the complexity and contradictions in our world. They feel they must change it by whatever means necessary, even by force, until it conforms to their vision of God's plan. Religious militants need an enemy - someone to hate. Once they identify that enemy, it isn't much of a jump to see themselves as superior people fighting the inferior elements in society. They pick and choose religious teachings, usually wrapped in some obscure Scripture passage, that serves their needs and justifies their goals. This insanity is being passed off as “true religion” these days in many of the world's religions - including our own!

It is time for us to go back to basic Christianity. Lived Christianity is what will attract people to our faith, not forced religious conformity. Lived Christianity is about all those small loving gestures in thought, word and deed carried out by millions of disciples. Lived Christianity, not another Christian "crusade," will transform the world. Do not let the religious crazies of this world seduce you with their hateful brand of religion. Christianity is, and always has been, a religion of "love." Those of us who know this must respectfully and firmly disagree with those who spew their venomous hate without restraint, without hesitation, without compassion, and who call it Christianity! We must live love and let love's power infect the world. There are no short-cuts. If it isn't love-based, it isn't Christian! It's that simple and it's that hard!