Thomas was not with them when Jesus stood in their midst
the first time. When the others told him about it, Thomas said,
“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put
my fingers in the holes, I will not believe.” A week later,
Thomas was with them when Jesus came and stood in their midst..
John 20:19-31
One of the things that happens
when you read the Bible on a regular basis, like I do in preparation for
preaching is that even familiar passages are always speaking to you in new
ways. It happened again this week when I read today’s gospel, a text I have
read and preached on many times. This is the first time I noticed the words,
“When the gathered disciples saw Jesus after his resurrection and told Thomas
who was not there with them, it says that Thomas refused to believe them. What
I noticed this time was that Thomas kept meeting with them anyway! He didn’t
say, “Jesus was here? Ridiculous! He’s dead! Your delusional! I’m outta here!”
No, it says he was with them the next
time!
What Thomas did was pretty much
the opposite of what we do when he have doubts. When we doubt, we quit joining the community. We assume
that joining the faith community is
only for those who believe, for those without
doubt. People, in our experience, who doubt quit joining the worshiping
community! Not Thomas! He kept joining them, even when he doubted.
The first thing many people
assume about faith is that doubt is the opposite of faith. Not true! Honest
doubt is not the opposite of faith. There is faith even in honest doubt. Honest doubt is actually an integral part of
faith. Thomas was not the only one who had doubts back then. When Matthew tells
us, at the end of his gospel, that the disciples “worshiped even when they
doubted,” he wants us to know this basic principle: honest doubt was part of the faith, even the
faith of those who were closest to Jesus.
The truth of the matter is that
many of the Easter stories, we have been reading this past week, are a mixture
of faith and doubt. The
disciples are presented as very skeptical about Mary Magdalen’s story about
seeing Jesus alive on that first Easter Sunday morning. Thomas, flat-out,
refused to believe until he was given
the opportunity to touch Jesus.
On the road to Emmaus, other disciples were astounded by the report of Jesus being seen alive. They
even failed to recognize him walking right beside them. Even after many reports, even after having
seen him themselves, we
are told in Matthew’s gospel that some worshipped, even as they doubted. Yes,
the message is simple: faith is never black and white, all or nothing, but
always mixed with a good measure of healthy doubt. Doubt does not necessarily mean you don’t
have faith. Doubt probably means you do
have faith!
“Unless I see his wounds and
touch them, I will not believe!” The
bigger question than whether doubt is part of faith, is what to do about doubt.
Many, when they doubt, say to themselves, “It is hypocritical for me to pretend to believe when I
really don’t believe.
When I start believing, when my faith is strong again, then it will make sense for me to start praying and worshiping
again.” That may sound good,
even reasonable, but that’s not how it works! As Thomas teaches us today, what really works is for us to gather with
believers until we believe. Like a single hot coal, pulled away from a
heap of burning coals, soon loses its heat, a doubter separated from the
community of believers loses even more of his faith. Faith begets faith and
doubt begets doubt.
Thomas may teach us yet another
version of the great truth: “fake it till you make it.” Even though Alcoholics
Anonymous made that idea famous, it actually goes back to the ancient Roman
poet, Ovid who said, “Pretend to what is not, and then you’ll become in truth,
what you are pretending to be.” The
great philosopher William James put it this way, “Act as if and the mind will produce your desire.” The idea
is, if you take something that feels impossible, or at least completely
unnatural, and pretend that it is the easiest, most natural thing in the world
for you to be doing, eventually, it will become as easy as you’re pretending it
to be.
I practice this often in my own life.
(1) As many of you know, I grew up pretty much crippled by bashfulness. Bashful
people find it painful to be in public situations. To cope, they are driven to
avoid public situations as much as possible. This is a sure way to keep
bashfulness going. The solution is to get out in public as much as possible,
faking confidence, until one day you wake up and find out that you are no
longer bashful. The only way out of the
fear of public speaking is to “fake it till you make it,” to do public speaking
until you are no longer afraid to speak in front of crowds. You cannot think your way out of bashfulness,
you have to act your way out of bashfulness. (2) When I was sent to
southeastern Kentucky as a newly ordained priest, against my will, somehow I
was able to open my mind to “fake it till I made it.” I decided, since I did
not get what I wanted, I would pretend to want what I got until I was able to
really want what I got. It worked. Those ten years were wonderful years in
many, many ways. I “acted as if it were a great assignment until
it became a great assignment.”
My friends, all of us have a good
measure of healthy doubt, even as we believe. The secret to making sure that
the scales do not tip too far to the doubt side, is to act as if we believe until
we believe, to pray even
when we don’t feel like it, to worship
until we feel like worshiping.
So when you are tempted to drop
out because “I don’t get anything out of it” or “I’m not into it today,” that
is when you really need to get into it, that is when you
really need to act as if you are
getting something out of it until you
get something out of it. Even believers
sometimes have to “fake it till they make it.”
A GOSPEL HYMN ABOUT FAITH IN TIMES OF DOUBT
click here
Joy Comes In The Morning
Joy Gardner
If you've knelt beside the rubble of an aching broken heart
When the things you gave your life to fell apart
You're not the first to be acquainted with sorrow, grief or pain
But the master promised sunshine after rain
Hold on my child joy comes in the morning
Weeping only last for the night
Hold on my child Joy comes in the morning
The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight
To invest your seeds of trust in God in mountains you can't move
You have risked your life on things you cannot prove
But to give the things you cannot keep for what you cannot lose
Now, that's the way to find the joy God has for you
Hold on my child joy comes in the morning
Weeping only last for the night
Hold on my child Joy comes in the morning
The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight.
Coda
The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight
Its just in sight
Songwriters: Gloria Gaither / William J. Gaither
Joy Comes In The Morning lyrics © Gaither Music Co., Hanna Street Music
