THE NIGHTMARE DRAGS ON

In my boredom, I have had some sudden realizations! 

In my boredom, I have been wondering about people's obsession with running out of toilet paper! I can understand people worrying about the electricity being turned off or the water plant being closed down or even Kroger running out of milk, but a community-wide panic over a shortage of toilet paper? I just don't get it! It is a mystery to me more complicated than the Holy Trinity, the Immaculate Conception or even Transubstantiation!  

A SHARED LIST OF PANDEMIC HUMOR

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune.   Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Homeschooling is going well.  2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.  It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.  I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

Quarantine Day 5:  Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN.   You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal.  I have no clue how this place is still in business.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Day 5 of Homeschooling:  One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda.  I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

Classified Ad:  Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

Day 6 of Homeschooling:   My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under. 

Hmmm! 
I must be running dangerously low on blog post ideas!