He summoned
them. He sent them out.
He gave them
authority. He instructed
them to take
nothing for the journey.
Mark 6
When I read
the lines “when I am weak, then I am strong” in last weeks second reading and
the lines from this week’s gospel, “take nothing for your journey,” I
immediately thought of one of my heroes, a young 13 year old poet by the name
of Mattie J. T. Stepanek who died a few years back. He had been writing poetry
since the age of five. I own three of his poetry books. I have a clipping about
him being released from Children’s Hospital in Washington DC due to respiratory
and other health complications caused by his mitochondrial myopathy, a
rare form of muscular dystrophy. His
mother, if she is still alive, also has it and three of his siblings have
already died of this disease. He was always in fragile condition and requiring
platelet transfusions every few days. A precocious child, as I said, he started
writing poems when he was five years old and won many national literary prizes.
When I was
following him, he lived in a wheel chair loaded with medical equipment and needed
oxygen through a ventilator in his throat all the time because his “automatic”
systems like breathing, heart rate, body temperature, oxygenation and digestion
didn’t work well on their own.”
Through his
poetry, he expressed wisdom in a way that touched many hearts. With his
unabashed enthusiasm for life, Mattie charmed everyone who crossed his path and
inspired many people, young and old, to overcome every obstacle that they
encountered and to strive for their goals with dignity and humanity. His three
wishes in life came true, in spades, in his very short life: publish a book of
poetry, meet his hero Jimmy Carter and appear on Oprah. When he met President
Carter he did not talk about his own health problems, but about problems in
Bosnia and Africa and his desire to be a peacemaker in the world. In spite of
the fact that he was hooked up to all that equipment, he was still able to see
miracles every day in his life.
In last
week’s second reading Paul reveals himself as such a person, a person who
remained hopeful and courageous in face of physical pain, personal setbacks and
sell-outs by those closest to him. He even brags that “when I am weak, then I
am strong.” Weariness, physical pain, opposition, slander, failure and even
martyrdom could not diminish his hope in the power of God to turn disasters
into opportunities to do wonderful things. Paul never gave up on God’s
ability to pull a miracle out of the ashes, no matter what he faced.
In this
week’s gospel, Jesus sends his first apostles out to preach the gospel and
instructs them to “take nothing for the journey.” There is no need to think of these words in a
literal sense. If we did, we would all own nothing but one set of clothes, one
pair of shoes and a walking stick. The spirit of what he says, however, is
important. What Jesus is really saying, I believe, is that when it comes to
doing ministry, nothing external matters compared to the zeal in our hearts.
“Nemo dat, quod non habet.” “You can’t give what you do not have.” Gimmicks, slick advertising and complicated
structures merely slow you down, turn people off and end up becoming a
substitute for real faith. It is when we are weak, it is when we depend
completely on Jesus, it is when we walk by faith and not by sight, that we are
strong.
Mattie
Stepanek and Saint Paul give me hope and remind me of the great truth, “when I
am weak, then I am strong.” These last years have been difficult for priests. Many
times, I have been angry, scared and low on hope. Throughout this dark
experience, I have kept coming back to the truth preached by St. Paul and
exemplified by the courageous life of young Mattie Stepanek: “when I am weak,
then I am strong.”
Retired
Archbishop John R. Quinn of San Francisco reminded me again of the great truth
of today’s second reading in an article he wrote several years ago for AMERICA
magazine. I have his words in one of my journals. He makes the point that we
priests might be at our best when we are down, not when things are going well.
I tend to believe him. He wrote:
I believe, in fact that this is
the best time in history to be a priest, because it is a time when there can be
only one reason to be priest or remaining a priest – that is, to “be with”
Christ. It is not for perks or applause or respect or position or money or any
other gain or advantage. Those things either no longer exist or are swiftly
passing. The priest of today is forced to choose whether he wants to give
himself to the real Christ, who embraced poverty, rejection and
misrepresentation or whether he wants an earthly messiah for whom success
follows on success.
I just got
back from my 10th volunteer mission trip the islands. I usually come
home wondering what difference I am making because the needs are endless. I
usually come home exhausted from the poverty, heat, noise, chaos and the endless
stress of getting there and back! My
need to “fix it” and “make it all better” is severely challenged. I find myself
worn down by “compassion fatigue” and tempted to “quit caring.” At
seventy-four, I am aware that the sand is running out of my hour glass! I wonder how
much longer I will be able to do what I am doing.
Am I
concerned? Yes! Am I discouraged sometimes? Yes!
Will I give up? Hell, no! I know in my gut that the experiences I have
“down there” will help me appreciate and be thankful for what we have “up
here.” Whatever problems we have in the
church up here are a hundred times worse down there. We have a priest shortage,
but they only have nine priests and presently two have had strokes and one has
Parkinson’s. They have no place set up to take care of sick and elderly
priests. With very little to take with me on the journey compared to the needs
I see, I have to rely even more on Jesus as I do that ministry. I am trying to
believe that “when I am weak, I become strong.”
Trials purify
motives. It is only when we lose control that we find out that God is truly in charge and all is in God’s
hands. How one handles things that must be handled is more important than what
must be handled. It is easy to believe when one sees clearly. It is easy to be
hopeful is when everything is going our way. It is easy to keep going when
successes follow on each other. Who needs God when you have the world by the
tail! Down in the islands, I am being taught the fact that I certainly do not have the world by the tail! The problems are so overwhelming at times that I feel powerless in a world of people who feel powerless. I know that my presence is not really about giving as much as it is about learning what it is like to be powerless. I am forced to remember the words of Mother Teresa who said, "God is not calling me to be successful. God is calling be to be faithful." I am trying to remember the words of Thomas Merton. "I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it."
My friends,
the idea of “power in weakness” makes no sense to those who buy wholeheartedly
into today’s values of “being number one” and “win at all cost.” But history
has proven that when the church is fat and lazy and comfortable, it dies, but when
the church it attacked, in trouble, powerless and lean, it is most powerful.
Look at the church in Europe! It is almost dead! Look at the church in Africa!
It is alive and growing! Maybe the best
days of the church lie ahead of us, rather than behind us, in spite of the
trials we are enduring at this time. I, for one, am trying to believe so!
