Every Saturday for the last 44 Saturdays, I published a real life story from my 55 years of priestly experience. I even put them in a book called YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP. This year, I will simply feature one of my favorite religious cartoons every Saturday under the title CHURCH CHAT. I hope you enjoy them too!
JESCA (single mother)
The scripture messages this month are simple: we are all going to die! We may not want to think about it, but no
doubt about it, someday somebody will be having a funeral for you and
for me. Aware of this fact and almost being 82 years old, this stark reality is
coming more and more into focus! It’s no longer “some people die,”
but "I’m going to die!” I have already had my tombstone installed
at my home parish down in the country. My beloved Saint Theresa Parish
gave me a free gravesite. I have a free casket from Abbey Caskets at
Saint Meinrad as a perk from when I worked there. (From their catalogue, I am choosing the simple monk's casket - see above photo). I have my will up to date, my
end-of-life papers are signed and my updated funeral plans have been sent in to the
Chancery. My bags are packed, now I want to lay it all aside, forget it for a
while and keep on living and doing ministry, as well as I can, for as long as I can!
Some of the great saints
of the past are often pictured with a skull sitting on their writing desk –
sometimes with a sign that says momento mori - remember death. It
was placed there as a daily reminder of the fact that death is certain. I don't do that! Rather, I have a needle-point pillow that I pat every time I make my bed that encourages me to think about living! It says
that “the best is yet to come!”
These days, we try not think about death. We are even trying to
find ways around death. Some believe in reincarnation, believing that we never
die, but just keep recycling, again and again, until we get it right! Others
are trying cryonics, the practice or technique of deep-freezing the bodies of
people who have just died, in the hope that scientific advances will someday
allow them to be revived when science finally finds a cure for their death. Still
others imagine that cloning will provide a way to recreate another one of us,
just like the last one.
The funeral industry is
getting better at disguising death, offering us beautifully dressed corpses
that look like they are merely sleeping, placing them in air-tight caskets with
“life-time guarantees” - whatever that means! Still others are engaging in
death-denying practices like unprotected sex, drug addiction, regular overeating
of unhealthy foods, reckless driving, constant smoking and forgoing
vaccinations, as if somehow death could never happen to them! The fact is
that there is no cure for death nor escaping it!
Then there is the
“religious crowd,” those who comb the scriptures looking for clues about the
end of the world so that they can “get ready” right before the curtain falls.
Behind their search is the assumption that they can live any way they choose,
repent at the last minute and still get in under the wire - just in case there is an afterlife! They did it in
Jesus’ day and people are still trying to do it even today.
In his day, Jesus often spoke
of his Second Coming. Early Christians actually did look for his Second Coming as happening in
their lifetimes. The first book of the New Testament to be written down, the
First Letter to the Thessalonians, talks about getting ready for that imminent
Second Coming. They were so convinced that it was going to happen in their
lifetimes that many Christians basically gave up on this life to sit down and
wait for it to happen: they quit their jobs, they quit planting and they just focused
on the so-called “signs” that were being passed around. It got so bad that
Paul was prompted to write a second letter to the Thessalonians, telling them
to get up and get back to work because “no one knew” when the end would come.
The gospels of Mark, Matthew and Luke, written a little later, speak of the
Second Coming, but warns people that “no one knows the day or the hour” and “if
someone tells you that this or that will be the day, do not believe
them.”
Even today, especially
at the turn of this century twenty-five years ago, some people got all excited
about “signs” indicating the end of the world. Again, it did not happen! Every
few years, some fanatical religious leader will come up with a new cult built on the
assumption that that he or she has discovered “in the scriptures” signs that
the world will soon end. So far, every one of them have been wrong.
There are three things
worth pointing out here. (1) No one can predict the date through reading
“signs” because no one knows. (2) When it does happen, it will not be a
disaster but rather a glorious day for those who live faithful
lives. “Eye has not seen. Ear has not heard. Nor has it even dawned on human
beings the great things God has in store for those who love him.” Therefore, we
wait, not in dread, but “in joyful hope.” Norman Cousins said this, “Death is
not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while
we live.” (3) The only reason for trying to predict the end of the world, is to
live anyway you want and then try to “get ready” before the very end. Foolish!
If you live in readiness, you have nothing to be afraid of. Mark Twain said
this, “The fear of death follows the fear of life. A man who lives fully is
prepared to die at any time!” The true message, then, is to “be ready,”
not to try to “get ready.”
I think about my own
death more these days than I ever have. The first reason is because of the Scripture
readings the Church always offers us to reflect on at this time of the year. Second,
it has a lot to to do with the fact that I am heading toward turning 82 years old. Third, is the fact that
the diocese sends out a “funeral planning form” every couple of years, asking us to update our funeral plans so they will know
what to do with us if we were to die unexpectedly. All this certainly shakes
one out of the denial that Woody Allen joked about when he said, “I don’t mind
dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens!” However, no matter how you cut the cake,
death it is certainly a fact of life so I followed the Chancery’s direction and
filled out the funeral planning form they sent me again this year - for their good and for mine!
Here are a few things I
have put into my latest “funeral planning form” that I have filed away until needed. (1) I have stated that, if I
were to die tomorrow, it would be OK because I have had an incredible life as a
priest, a life richer and fuller than I ever imagined when I was growing up. I
am not pushing to go just yet, but I think I can leave this world anytime a
very thankful man. (2) I don’t want to waste a lot of money on such foolishness
as a golden casket, a bronze vault and a gaudy monument, nor do I want my
ashes thrown frivolously out of some airplane or used as a mantle decoration. I
plan to be buried in one of my old black suits and a Roman collar, in my simple
wooden “monk’s casket" from St. Meinrad, which will be made out of poplar wood, with a lid that is put on with screw drivers. As a message to those
I leave behind, I want to be buried clutching the Lectionary that the
Archbishop of Winnipeg, Canada, gave me a few years ago as a parting gift after I told him and
his priests that preaching has been the center and joy of my life as a priest.
I want a funeral with joyful Easter music. I want the preacher to deliver a
"homily," not a "eulogy." In other words, I want him to
talk about what God has done for me, not what I did for God. I want to be
buried in the cemetery of my home parish, in the country, where I grew up and very near the farm where I played as a child. My
small tombstone, already in place, has my full name, the date I was delivered
and baptized by my country midwife grandmother and the date I was ordained. There is a blank space where the date I died can
be added later. On top, I have these words engraved – “simply amazed –
forever grateful.” In short, I want people to get the message that I was not
clinging to what was behind me, but what is in front of me! I even designed a greeting card when I retired that says, "Trying to cling to what was is perhaps the surest way to sabotage any advanced growth in our elder years."
Planning your funeral
may not be fun, but it is the best way to take stock of what you believe about
life and death. It can certainly be a statement of faith. In the
meantime, let’s forget about predicting the end of the world! Let’s all live
well and live as long as we can! Let us live like pregnant women about to give
birth, with our bags packed but out of sight, ready to go whenever the time
comes! In the meantime, let us live! Let us live in “joyful hope," but keep in mind always that we are truly “heaven bound!”
