CHURCH CHAT #8

 

DO NOT BE AFRAID

 

The angel said to the shepherds “Do no be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you 

and all people good news of great joy.  A savior has been born to you."

Luke 2:11

Do you know what the first thing human beings said to God? According to the Book of Genesis, the first thing human beings said to God was this: “I was afraid.” The word “afraid” appears many, many times in the Bible, most of the time along with the command, “Do not be afraid.” They were the words of Gabriel when he appeared to Mary when she first conceived. They were the words of the angel to Joseph when he decided to accept Mary and her unexpected pregnancy. They were the words the angel spoke to the women after the resurrection. They were the words of Jesus to his disciples when he appeared to them in the upper room after he had risen from the dead. They are his words to the shepherds in the gospel today and they are words addressed to us gathered here again this Christmas in the year 2025. 

As one who has preached 55 Christmases, it has occurred to me several times that more often than not, we have the tendency to reduce the Christmas story we just read to childish sentimentalism, when underneath it has at its core a very adult and real message of hope in times of great disappointment and loss. When we reduce it to pious sentimentalism, we can just keep it safely “out there” somewhere. When we infantilize it and reduce it to mere “cuteness,” “sweetness,” “sentimentalism,” and “niceness” we don’t have to deal with its very adult message. Santa Claus may be for children, but the message of Christmas is a powerful message for serious adults. 

“Do not be afraid,” is a message directed to the shepherds and to us! “Do not be afraid,” is easier said than done. Most of us are afraid at some time or another and some of us all the time. We are afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone, afraid of strangers, afraid of flying, afraid of heights, afraid of the water, afraid of germs, afraid of dying, afraid of getting old and sick, afraid of losing our jobs, afraid of not finding a spouse, afraid of losing a spouse, afraid of driving, afraid of losing our savings, afraid of getting pregnant, afraid of crowds, afraid of closed spaces, afraid of failure, afraid of success and, yes, afraid to move on after a terrible loss - the list goes on and on. 

It occurred to me the other day that the fear we experience after a loss is not so much about the fear of what has happened to the person we lost, but the fear about what is going to happen to us as we go on without the one we lost. Sometimes the hardest part of a loss isn’t letting go of the past, but rather learning to start over. It is embracing a “new way of being” that most fills us with doubt and fear. It’s as if the question “What am I going to do now?” keeps flashing before our eyes without letting up. My own niece summed it up quite well when her young husband died of cancer. “I knew who I was yesterday, but I don’t know who I am today.” That’s what fear is usually all about – not the past, but the future – our future without the one we lost. 

A few years ago, I had to go through the death of a dream I had for retirement. It hit suddenly and it hit hard, leaving me disappointed, angry and confused. I had to come to terms with the fact that the future I expected, wanted and planned on for years was not going to happen after all. I went through a grieving process – a painful process of letting go. One day, I read something that restored my hope and helped me let go. This is what it said: “A ‘Plan B life’ can be just as good or better than a ‘Plan A life." You just have to let go of that first dream and realize that God has already written the first chapter of the new life that awaits you. All you have to do is start reading that new chapter.” Thinking about it, this has been true over and over again in my life. 

As I waited for God to reveal “Plan B” for my next few years, I remember a quote from Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, that applied to me. You will probably remember part of the quote, but maybe not know who said it. “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Jesus was right when he said, “Fear is useless. What is needed is trust.” In my own life, it seems that the closer I have become to God, the less afraid I have become of life’s ups and downs. The older I get, the more I can look back on the times when I was afraid and realize that most of it was useless. I like to think of it as practice for facing the “big fear,” my fear of dying. The more times I have been able to let go of my fears and chose to trust God, the more I can do it. Most of the things I worried about never happened. In fact, most of the time when I have been able to trust God, unimaginable good things have happened instead. I did get through the seminary, even though the head priest at St. Thomas Seminary called me a “hopeless case!” I did enjoy my assignment in Southern Kentucky Missions even though I thought it was going to be hell. I was successful at the Cathedral even though I thought it was way beyond my abilities. Even though I thought the world was coming to an end when the sexual abuse scandal hit Louisville, it led to writing my column in The Record for over fifteen years and publishing over 40 books instead. I thought my years as a vocation director was a disaster because of the sexual abuse scandal, but instead it led to a $2 million dollar Lilly Endowment grant to implement my dream of starting the Institute for Priests and Presbyterates at St. Meinrad Seminary which led me to present over 140 priest retreats in 10 countries! Even in retirement, I was able to take 12 trips to do "mission work" in the Caribbean - and even after that, in the last two years I have been doing "mission work" in Africa. With faith, I am not afraid of "set backs" because my big breakdowns have always led to the beginning of another breakthrough! So far, so good! 

Friends, the words in Isaiah are meant for us. “Say to those whose hearts are frightened: be strong, fear not!” The words of the angels to the shepherds in the gospel tonight are meant for us: “Do not be afraid!” The words of Jesus in both the gospels of Mark and Luke are also meant for us, “Fear is useless. What is needed is trust.” These words are invitations to turn it all over to God and wait for “Plan B” to reveal itself. Remember, also, that many of the things that appear to be a tragedy one year may become something marvelous, more marvelous than we could ever imagine, the next. The secret is not to give up or give into our fear. As Dale Carnegie said “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” An unknown author said this, “Don’t get discouraged; it is often the last key on the ring that opens the lock.”

And so I say to any of you whose hearts are frightened this Christmas, “Be strong! Fear not!” Today’s breakdown may just be tomorrow’s breakthrough. In the meantime, tell yourself this: “I need not be afraid! I am strong! With God’s help, I can handle this!” 

Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you

good news of great joy. 

COWARDICE IS CONTAGIOUS, BUT SO IS COURAGE

 

The thing I will remember most about 2025 is the infection and contagion of cowardice in our country among political leaders, religious leaders, business leaders and educational leaders in the face of their fear of personal loss coming at them from political and religious backlash. I am tired of watching it happen! Really tired of it! 

I wrote an autobiographical book about my own life and how I have tried to stand up to my own personal cowardice and push myself toward courage. It is called BETWEEN COURAGE AND COWARDICE: Doing Hard Things For Your Own Good. It is available from Amazon Books through this link ronknottbooks.com Writing that book was not possible until I was able to tell the truth about my growing up and my seminary training by standing up to my fear of judgment and repercussions from my family members, parishioners, friends and fellow priests. 

I know from reading about prophets that telling the truth can get you killed or marginalized - often without mercy. Prophets are not so much people who predict the future as people who get up in your face and make you look at present truths you are trying not to see.  Today, we would call them “whistle blowers,” people who drag the truth out into the light of day whether it is convenient or not! Like prophets of old, whistle blowers are often considered “nut cases” at first. Like prophets of old, whistle blowers often get themselves killed, either actually or figuratively, because most establishments do not like to have their boats rocked or their embarrassing truths to come out into the open. Instead of heeding the truth, people usually turn on the truth-teller. If you have ever been involved in such an action, you know just how dangerous telling the truth can be. If you were not physically hurt, you may have been labeled or blackballed for years and maybe even for life.  

We still kill prophets in a host of creative ways. We shun friends who will not go along with us when we invite them to agree with us when do wrong.  We rage against "wokeness" when what it exposes is too painful to admit. We ridicule the teaching of the Church, and those who teach what the Church teaches, when it won’t bless the wrongs we want to do. We call evil good and good evil so that we can live with inconvenient truths, even when we know in our guts that what we are doing is wrong.     

I have learned the hard way that people who tell you what you want to hear are not necessarily your friends and people who tell you want you don't want to hear are not necessarily your enemies! In preparation for my annual "Stay-Home New Year's Eve Retreat" when I focus on where I want to direct myself in 2026, I have begun thinking about where I should focus my attention. Instead of focusing on what I can't do and feeling bad about it, I am going to choose to do what I can, where I can, and feel good about it. Instead of choosing the easy path of cowardice and letting myself off the hook, I am committed to choose the hard path of courage and putting myself on the hook!  So far, I think my new year's resolution for 2026 is going to be to "step up my courage" especially in my writing and let the chips fall where they may! I will be careful. I will not "sound off" without regard to other people's points of view, but I am going to try to be more committed to telling the truth, regardless of its boomerang repercussions, because I believe that truth still matters! 

I believe, both from my own experience and from my knowledge of history, that cowardice is contagious and so is courage. 

For courage to replace the present plague of cowardice, all it takes is for a couple of heroes to be "martyred" to snap people out of it and choose to change directions - to choose courage over cowardice. Cowardice is about giving into fear! Courage is about standing up to fear! Cowards are a dime a dozen! Courageous people are worth a fortune! 

THE FOUR DREAMS OF SAINT JOSEPH

The angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said,

"Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.

Matthew 1:18-23

The Gospel of Matthew tells us of four dreams in which Joseph, the legal father of Jesus, is visited by an angel of the Lord and receives specific instructions and warnings of impending danger. All four dreams come from the period around the nativity of Jesus and his early life, between the onset of Mary's pregnancy and the family's return from the flight to Egypt. 

Like many of you these days, Saint Joseph, in each of his dreams, is a man with a heavy heart and a burdened mind. He does not know where to turn, but in each dream God tells him where to take his next step and shows him the way forward.

The birth of Jesus was for Saint Joseph one disaster after the other. All his life he dreamed of marrying some day and having a family. He is matched with a young virgin from Nazareth and he goes through the first two steps that would lead up to marriage, only to find out she was pregnant and he knew it was not his! I am sure he tossed and turned many nights wondering what to do – bouncing between anger, disappointment and fear. He knew that Mary was in danger of being stoned to death if that news got out. He decides to quietly end their marriage plans. Then he has his first dream in which an angel instructs him to proceed because the child is “of God,” not man.

When the time came for the birth of Jesus, the young couple were sent on a donkey-back trip to Bethlehem to register for a census mandated by the government. Out of town, with no place to stay, they end up in a barn delivery mess! If that was not bad enough, a crazy king sets out to kill Mary's new-born son. He could almost hear them coming when he went to sleep one night. In a dream, an angel warns him to get out of town NOW – not only out of town, but out of the country! He flees to a foreign country! To Egypt, for God’s sake!

After some time in Egypt, when the coast was clear and the crazy child-killer king was dead, Joseph has his third dream in which he is instructed to head back home!

In his fourth and final dream, Joseph is told not to go home to Judea, but to Galilee! I am sure Joseph wondered when his life would ever settle down again!

My friends, know this! The first Christmas was certainly not cutesy and sentimental like some Hallmark card! No, it was a hellish experience on many levels! It was one disaster after other! Those of you who are hurting have more in common with the first Christmas than all those who get to enjoy the warm, fuzzy and sentimental feelings of Christmas!

I can’t fix your problems for you! I can’t make your pain go away! I can’t stop your grieving, but I am going to do what I can! I am going to introduce you to one of Pope Francis’s favorite devotions – his devotion to the Sleeping Saint Joseph. Here is what he said about it on November 25, 2016.

To those who asked him what the secret is of his “serenity,” the Pope replied jokingly: “I do not take tranquilizers! I have had a very special experience of profound peace since I was elected. It does not abandon me. I live in peace. I cannot explain it. If there is a problem, I write a note to St. Joseph and put it under a statue that I have in my room. It is a statue of St. Joseph sleeping. And now he sleeps on a mattress of notes! That’s why I sleep well: it is the grace of God.”

Friends, whatever loss or problem you are facing this Christmas, write it down and put it under a statue of saint Joseph (or a picture of the sleeping Saint Joseph from the top of this blogpost or print one off the internet). Ask him to help remove the pain from for your heart too! After you have turned your confusion or grief over to Saint Joseph in this way, then go to bed each night and sleep in peace while you wait for clarity and guidance about the resolution of your issue to come to you!

God blessed Saint Joseph as he slept! God can bless all of you as you sleep, while Saint Joseph helps handle your problems. That way, you too can enjoy some peaceful sleep as you wait for clarity and direction about how to handle the issues that trouble you! Try it! I did and it is working yet again!