Let us beset the just one, because he is obnoxious to us, he sets
himself against our doings,
reproaches us for our transgressions
and charges us with violations
of our training.
Wisdom 2:12
If people told the truth all the
time, judges like Judy would be out of business, more sex starved politicians
would still be in office and most of us wouldn't have any friends to speak of!
The job of a judge is to expose
liars, even after people have pledged to tell "the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth." Some politicians could probably survive their
"indiscretions," but it is the lying, the deceit and the cover-up
that usually brings them down.
Even if our friends are fat and
ugly, alcoholics or drug addicts, most of us will lie through our teeth if
asked, "What do you think?" "Oh, you're not fat! They just make
jeans smaller than they used to! I wouldn't worry about it!" "Alcoholic?
Oh, no, not you! You might get carried away sometime and even have a beer or
two for breakfast, but I know for a fact you can quit anytime you want! I've
seen you do it thousands of times!"
Tell them the truth and you might as well kiss them goodbye! When I do priest retreats, I often "go for the throat" in my honesty and usually get away with it because I follow the advice of George Bernard Shaw."If you are going to tell them the truth, you'd better make them laugh or they will kill you!"
The Bible has a word for people
who tell the bare-faced truth to people who don't want to hear it. They are
called "prophets." We call them "whistle blowers," people
who speak the truth to power. The prophet, John the Baptist, had the nerve to
get up in King Herod's face and confront him for living with his brothers wife.
He had his head chopped of for it. Report the activities of Mexican drug lords
and they will find you, your family and your friends in some alley with bullets through
your heads. Karen Silkwood was purposefully contaminated, psychologically
tortured and possibly murdered to prevent her from exposing blatant worker
safety violations at a plutonium processing plant.
We may not go that far, but we
certainly do have our own ways of dealing with people who challenge our bad
behaviors, call the police when we break the law or even remind of us of the
values we were brought up on! We shun them, start rumors about them, blackmail
them, key their cars, try to get them fired - anything but let ourselves realize
how far we have strayed from our own principles.
Students! We live in a culture
permeated with fraud, fakery, hypocrisy, quackery, cover-ups, exaggerations and
falsehood. We were warned from childhood not to trust strangers. We have learned not to trust lawyers, car
salesmen, insurance companies, investment counselors, politicians or preachers.
We don't leave our doors open. We get it in writing. We do background checks.
We even hire private detectives to check up our spouses and children. If we are
smart, we take everything we hear with a bag of salt. When people do tell us the unadulterated
truth, we are actually shocked.
George Orwell once said, "In
a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act," yet
telling the truth is what we are to do as followers of Jesus Christ, who said
that if we live in the truth, we will truly be free. We will be free of trying to
remember the lie we just told, free from lying to cover a lie, free from the
guilt that we have to numb, free from hiding, pretending and fear of discovery. Rick Warren said, "When morality is
determined by popularity, depravity becomes normality."
We tell lies when we are afraid -
afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think of us, afraid of
what will be found out about us. We often speak of "a web of lies"
because every time we lie, the thing we fear grows stronger and more
complicated. When we come clean, when the truth comes out, we are actually
relieved. As Janis Joplin used to sing in "Me and Bobby McGee,"
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." Jesus was
right, "The truth will make us
free" - even if it hurts coming out!
There are five levels of truth
telling. The most basic level of truth telling is the ability to tell
ourselves the truth about ourselves. As Shakespeare said, "This above all
to thine own self be true." Denial is a very powerful force in all of us.
Treatment centers are making fortunes helping people break through their denial
and face the truth that they do in
fact have an addiction to alcohol,
drugs sex and food.
The second level of truth telling
is the ability to tell yourself the truth about another. We call it
"enabling," when we help others deny the truth about their
self-destructive behaviors. It is very common and the reason behind it is
selfish - we fear of being rejected. It is selfish because, in short, we would
rather see them destroy themselves than us having to deal with their rejection.
That's why in any addiction intervention process, the addict's
"enablers" have to be defused first.
The third level of truth telling
is the ability to tell the truth about ourselves to another. Many people go
through life carrying deep dark secrets that eat them up, day in and day out.
Some go on TV programs like Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil to spill their guts.
Some have even come to priests like me. One of the best things about being a
priest is being able to take these burdens off people who have been carrying
them for 20, 30, 50 years!
The fourth level of truth telling
is the ability to tell the truth about another person to that person. One of
the greatest test of friendship is to be honest enough to tell
them things they don't want to hear, but need to hear. "Should I tell my
friend that her husband is cheating? Should I tell my friend that he needs to
go for treatment? Yes, if we really love him/her! No, if we simply want to protect
ourselves!
The last, and highest, level of truth telling is the
ability to tell the truth to everyone about everything. It's hard to get to
that level, but we, as Christians, are called to reach for that level, even if
we hear those around us whisper, in the words of our first reading, "Let
is beset the just one because he is obnoxious to us, he sets himself against
our doings, reproaches us for our transgressions and charges us with violations
of our training."
