UNDERSTANDING "CHURCH CHAT"

THE CHURCH IS JUST ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY?

The other day, someone told me a story about a conversation that took place a few years ago between one of the Sisters at the Benedictine Motherhouse in Ferdinand (Indiana) and one of the Brothers at Saint Meinrad Archabbey (Indiana). The Mother Superior wanted to know about the time of an upcoming funeral for one of the Fathers of the Archabbey. Whether it is true or not, this is the reported version of the conversation as it was told to me! 

"Hello, Brother! This is Sister! Mother wants to know when Father will be buried!" 

AN ECUMENICAL DIALOGUE? 

on the phone

Our Protestant brothers and sisters obviously relate to us differently! In Monticello, we used to be the only church in town with a “social service ministry.” We tried to help as many people as we could. One day the phone rang and a man told me he needed to borrow some money. When I asked him what his need was, he told me he wanted to build a carport.  I responded in a shocked voice. “A carport?” “Yes, a carport,” he answered. I then proceeded to tell him that we did indeed try to help people in need, but that we only had about $70.00 in the bank at that time. This conversation went on several minutes until he stopped me and yelled in a loud voice, "$70.00???????" “Who is this?????” I replied, “This is Father Knott at St. Peter Catholic Church!” To which he responded, “Hell, I thought this was the Monticello Bank!”

  

in the barber shop

One day, right after ordination when I was assigned in Somerset and while I was getting a haircut, I was quizzed by the barber. Catholics were as a rarity in that community - and priests almost unheard of!  He had never seen one, met one or heard about one. He just saw one on TV. It started when he asked, as they always did down there when a stranger came to town, "What do you do?" When I said "priest" there was a very long pause, maybe a minute of two when the next question came. "Was your father a priest too?" I answered, "Oh, I hope not!" He obviously did not understand what he was asking, much less my answer! We both let it drop. I didn't explain and so we moved on to another subject.