Saturday, May 13, 2023

A SPIRITUALITY OF MARRIAGE


MARRIAGE SPIRITUALITY
Rev. J. Ronald Knott

"Holy Orders and Matrimony are directed toward the salvation of others;
if they contribute as well to personal salvation, it is through service to
others that they do so."

Catechism of the Catholic Church
#1534

 

This quote from the Catechism reminds us that priests and married couples have more in common than one would first think. We both do what we do, not for our own benefit but for the benefit of others. Priests become priests to serve the People of God and men and women marry to serve their spouses and their children.  It is our service that will make priests and married couples holy.

Not only do we have similar missions of service, we both face similar dilemmas when it comes to everyday spirituality.

Most parish priests have a vocation to be “diocesan” or “secular” priests. “Diocesan” or “secular” priests like me, therefore, are not called to live in religious communities under solemn vows. Rather, we are called from the laity, to live among the laity, so as to serve the laity.

Even though diocesan priests’ have a vocation that calls them to live among the laity so as to serve the laity, many diocesan priests still do not have a spirituality that fits their way of life and are still not trusted to live among the laity. They are still trying to serve the laity with a quasi-monastic spirituality and from quasi-monastic rectories as the ideal.

Most writers on the subject of the spirituality of diocesan priests agree on two things: (1) a diocesan priest’s spirituality is eclectic and borrowed, an amalgam of quasi-monastic spiritualities, and (2) diocesan priests continue to search for a spirituality properly their own, a spirituality that fits the lifestyle of a diocesan priest. Not only are diocesan priests are still trying “to make do” with borrowed spiritualities, we are struggling “to make do” in quasi-monastic rectories. Those of us who have been given an exemption, know from experience that effective and productive ministry really emerges from being in constant touch with life as it is lived by those we serve. A “diocesan” or “secular” priest, we believe, should live among the laity so that our ministry to the laity will be more credible.

Married couples have also been trying to “make do” with a spirituality that is basically celibate or monastic. They have, no doubt sensed that most Christians in history have been married, but the spirituality written and taught by the Church is for those who could professionally dedicate themselves to most traditional spiritual practices. They have, no doubt, felt that because of their daily duties they could only practice a reduced form of the spiritual life. This has left many married couples with the belief that married life is somehow second-class. Like “diocesan” or “secular” priests, married people are still looking for a spirituality properly their own, one that fits their lifestyle.   

Even though we are not there yet, Vatican II set the groundwork for a marital spirituality. Vatican II broke from the idea of a two-tier Church when it comes to the idea that the spiritual life was the preserve or special competence of one group within the Church. Instead, it worked with the biblical idea that there is one People of God, and clearly stressed that there are no specialists when it comes to the life of faith; rather all the baptized are called equally to lead a life of holiness.

Until the Council, there was a divide between the sacred and the profane. At the Council, “The world,” the place where most Christians live and act became a “sacred place,” “a place of salvation.” Everyday life – personal, professional, social, political, cultural – became the place where Christian spirituality can be practiced and observed.  

In other words, we are all called to holiness through service of others even while using different methods.

 

 

 

 

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