Other than a few little loose ends that I need to finish, my latest "big project" has been completed - the turning of my old childhood grade school building into a new St. Theresa Family Life Center and the old parish rectory into a Guest House for retreats, for overnight speakers in the Family Life Center and for various other new uses. It took over two years of intense focus, attention and outside help to bring it to completion.
Reaching this milestone, the next question facing me personally is this - what next? At a time like this, I am reminded of a quote from Marilyn Ferguson. "It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear. It's like being between trapezes. It's like Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hang onto."
During my other "post-project times," there was always the temptation to try to repeat what worked before in a different location or anything that was similar to that last success. I have been through this "in between time" many times before. Here are only a few "reinvent myself" examples from my past.
When I left the Cathedral, I was tempted to look for another historic parish to revive. I even made the mistake of trying to go back there for a while. Instead, I reinvented myself and got involved in the initial formation of priests in the seminary and the ongoing formation of priests after seminary. During that time I founded the Institute for Priests and Presbyterates at St. Meinrad Seminary and led well over 100 ongoing formation priest convocations in 10 countries. During that time, I also got involved in campus ministry, started an annual Blue Christmas Mass for the grieving and writing a weekly column for our archdiocesan paper, The Record.
When the time came to let go of all of that, I was tempted to try to hang onto some parts of all that or maybe continue some of it in a new way. Instead, I decided to leave it behind and reinvent myself as a "missionary" in the Caribbean. After twelve trips down there with several obvious successes, the onset of a COVID epidemic and a volcano eruption, I was forced to end that ministry.
When my ministry in the Caribbean missions ended, I was tempted to look for ways to try to repeat or expand that experience somewhere else. Instead, I decided to reinvent myself and take on the challenge of finding a ministry closer to home that did not require travel during the COVID epidemic. I landed on the idea of revitalizing and renovating the neglected buildings of my home parish. Now that that project is finished, I find myself again in one of those "in between trapezes" periods in my life while "my blanket is in the dryer."
This time, I have sworn off of any more "building and fund raising projects." However, I am not ready to quit reinventing myself. I just need to let some ideas percolate in my mind until a new direction comes into focus. I will no doubt offer a few educational programs in the new Family Life Center and stay in the Guest House when I do, but how I will fully reinvent myself this next time around has not yet become clear. However, I firmly believe that it will come to me in time. It always has in the past. All I have to do is keep my eyes, ears and heart open. As Alexander Graham Bell said, "When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
Even at age 79, I don't believe that it is time to quit just yet. Rather, I have the feeling that it is time to reinvent myself once again! I'll need to take my time, but I have a strong feeling there is still "something else" yet to do - probably something I have never thought of before! Like it has so often before, I believe that "what to do next" will be revealed to me soon! All I have to do is resist the temptation to shut down, to give into ease and to quit caring! Pray with me that I will not give into that temptation. Who knows? Maybe the best is yet to come?
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