NO STORM CAN SHAKE MY INMOST CALM

 

A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat.

Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him.

“Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” Jesus asked them,

“Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?”

Mark 4:35-41

This year, we are reading from the Gospel of Mark. Mark was known for writing to encourage a discouraged community of believers going through a hard time. We should not be surprised to read this story of Jesus and his disciples caught out on a lake during a violent storm. The panicked disciples are scared to death with Jesus asleep on a cushion as if he didn’t care! What better way to describe a community of believers, losing hope, with God seemingly not caring, than a story about being caught out on a lake in a storm with Jesus asleep? The Sea of Galilee was notorious for its storms. They came literally out of the blue, even when the sky was perfectly clear, with shattering and terrifying suddenness.

To get Mark’s point, we need to read this story, not literally, but symbolically. If it describes no more than a physical miracle in which an actual storm was calmed, it is wonderful to marvel at, but it would just be something that happened once, but does not affect us! What we need to learn from the story is that fearless peace entered them once his disciples knew Jesus was with them and paying attention to them! With a close connection to Jesus, we too can have peace even in the wildest storms of life!

Last week, I spoke to the people of St. Frances of Rome about the storms in my life and the storms that many of you have faced in yours – when God seemed to be asleep – and how we managed to survive once we realized that God had been with us all along!

I told them how I had spent twelve long years in the seminary preparing for ordination to the priesthood, only to see the bottom appear to drop out about the time I got there. When I was ordained in 1970, priests and nuns were leaving in a steady stream. I told them about being sent to the home missions of southern Kentucky to live in a church basement with no windows to start Catholic churches in two counties with not enough people to even pay my $200.00 a month salary. I told them about being threatened by the Ku Klux Klan in one of those counties for welcoming some young African Americans attending the local Job Corps, being thrown out of the ministerial association in the other county just for being a Catholic. I told them about having a knife being pulled on me by a schizophrenic at the Cathedral because I welcomed fallen-away, divorced and gay Catholics back to church. I told them about how I took three months off to try to pull myself together during the sexual abuse scandal when I felt like quitting. I told them about how angry I am today at those in the church who want to “go back” to some imagined “good old days” and who are engaging in all sorts of meanness, character assassination and anonymous personal attacks in the name of “orthodoxy,” deciding for themselves who God loves and who God doesn’t love!

I reminded them about how many of you are facing your own storms. Many of you have invested tons of money to give your kids a Catholic education only to see them drop out of church as soon as they graduate. Many of you have been through painful divorces, bankruptcy and marital infidelities. Others of you have lost your life partners or children to cancer, car wrecks, heart disease or drug addiction. Some of you have been through serious painful surgeries. Some of you are still battling serious illnesses, financial problems or facing going into nursing homes.

In spite of all those painful experiences, we are both still here! One of the most important things I have learned in my 80 years of life is that “It isn’t over till it’s over!” I have learned over and over again that a “Breakdown is a sure sign of a breakthrough.” Looking back, I can say that often what I thought was an unrecoverable disaster was only the beginning of a new and better period of my life. I can often look back and be glad that I had to go through some of those painful trials. By going through them, I have learned much about myself, about how much you go through and how to talk to you about it!

When I was ordained in 1970, I was worried about my future. Discouraged, but not discouraged enough to quit even though so many priests and Sisters were leaving. That’s why I chose the hymn with the refrain, “No Storm Can Shake My Inmost Calm,” for my First Mass and have had it sung at every one of my 54 anniversaries since! With my eyes wide open, I made the deliberate decision to stand my ground and stay put, realizing that I would be serving the Church in one of the most tumultuous periods in recent Church history. I knew in my heart of hearts that my years as a priest would be more like shooting the rapids of the Colorado River than lounging peacefully in a canoe on a serene mountain lake. I had a pretty good hunch as to what I was getting myself into! At least I knew enough that it was not going to be a rough ride! I chose to do it anyway, even though I might not have realized just how chaotic it would become.

As I look out at you today, you who have been so welcoming and so affirming to me, I realize that we are both entering yet another storm together. For me, this could very well be one of the very few Sundays celebrating Mass with you the rest of this year and probably the community of St. Frances of Rome as well. After this Sunday, I will have one Mass at St. Leonard in July, one in August, one in September and one in October so far. Beyond that, I don’t know yet because the two new pastors serving these two communities don’t know yet. As the Archbishop struggles with a shrinking number of priests, he is being forced to re-arrange things, but it looks pretty certain that you will have to get used to new priests while I will probably have to look for new places to do ministry!

Like many of you, I do not look forward to another period of uncertainty about where our place will be in the days ahead. I do know one thing, Jesus may appear to be asleep in this boat, but he isn’t! In the midst of all the chaos we are experiencing, we need to remember that God is at work even now and the kingdom is coming into reality ever so quietly like tiny seeds sprouting and growing of their own accord.

Friends, No matter what! Let’s not lose hope or get distracted! We need to keep our eyes on the prize! In the meantime, let’s try not to forget this! “Breakdown is very often a sure sign of a breakthrough!” I want to believe in my heart that we are both going to be OK and God has good things in store for both of us! Thank you and God bless you for your amazing support and encouragement just as I have tried to do the same for you!