LETTING GO AS PART OF LIFE

SOMETIMES IT CAN BE A GOOD THING

One of the hardest parts of retirement is the beginning of a series of letting go experiences.

As one who regularly visits nursing homes, I am keenly aware of how painful letting go can be for some people.

It includes letting go of one's professional identity, letting go of one's partner, letting go of one's drivers license, letting go of one's friends, letting go of one's privacy and independence, letting go of decision making, letting go of one's appearance, letting go of one's wardrobe, letting go of one's home and letting go of vacations.  It all seems like a rehearsal for the biggest letting go of all - letting go of one's very life.

I am always inspired by those who are "handling it" with grace and dignity. As Victor Frankl said, "The last of the human freedoms is the ability to choose one's response to any given situation." I believe that choosing to let go when one has to is a sign of an advanced spiritual life. 

As I write this , I got yet another notice that another of the Sisters of Charity of Nazareth has died. It seems like there are one or two per week these days. I am thinking about the affect this has on all those Sisters down in Nazareth who have to go to so many funerals a month. I salute them for their ability to "let go" of so much. 

Parents have to let go of their children, married people have to let go of being single, adults have to let go of acting like children, sometimes people have to let go of their health and accept a debilitating disease and adults have to let go of their parents. 

Letting go of a fixed idea or opinion is very hard for many people, as if inflexibility is a virtue. "I have always thought that such and such is true."  "I would never do such and such." 

Failing to let go of old hurts, failed relationships and past unfairness is toxic to a healthy, enjoyable life today, yet so many cling to them as if not liking it enough will make things different.  

Letting go of the need to control those around them is a problem for many, especially parents of adult children and marriage partners. It is such a self-defeating, even abusive, behavior.  

Letting go of material possessions is not just a problem for full-blown hoarders. Many of us waste so much of our time sorting, stacking, storing and protecting the stuff that we will never use and never need. 

"Letting go" is hard sometimes, but other times I have found it to be very freeing. Still other times it opens the door to something much better than I could have imagined. 

As Jesus said, "Fear is useless. What is needed is trust."