MY NEW YEAR"S RESOLUTION

 

I pasted this photo on the cover of my new 2026 journal to remind me that I may not be able to fix the big problems of the world, but maybe I can help individuals, one person at a time. 

I have back-packed all over Europe several times. I have traveled the world giving priest retreats in ten countries. I have supported missionary work in the Caribbean, Kenya and Tanzania. This year I am going to focus, not on the macro-world (the big picture), but the micro-world (the little picture). 

Instead of attempting to solve things like world poverty by committing myself to the construction of major building projects, I have decided to re-invent myself by focusing on encouraging, affirming and empowering individuals, foreign and domestic, who have been part of my life or who have newly crossed my path. I believe I can do this best through blogging, preaching, note writing, telephoning and fund-raising on a much smaller scale. 

Maybe this resolution will not wear out my friends so much, not to mention myself! So far, the people I have told that I would not take on any big building projects this coming year simply look at me and laugh! I guess I have earned the reputation of being a hopeless "projectaholic?" I didn't say I was giving up all projects. I just said I am going to try to give up "building projects!" 

  

CLOSING OUT THE YEAR 2025 - A YEAR OF MIRACLES

Every New Year's Eve I enjoy an "at-home spiritual retreat" instead of accepting invitations to parties. I am not against such parties, but I look forward reviewing my past year and setting goals for the next year - by re-inventing myself if you will! I have done this about as long as I can remember. 

Last year, the picture below was the one I pasted onto my 2025 spiritual journal. I remember choosing it because I had some things in mind that I wanted to accomplish, mainly in the area of helping out in the missionary areas of the world, without knowing one iota about how it could happen. It turned out to be more effective than I could have dreamed! In a way, I was able to accomplish more than I could dream possible with the help of God and some very good people. I have named the year 2025 "The Year of Six Miracles." 

For details of all six "miracles" I witnessed in 2025, see my upcoming blogpost for January 6, 2026

 

CELEBRATING FAMILIES IN ALL THEIR MARVELOUS DIVERSITY

Put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness,

and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, as the Lord has forgiven you. Over all these, put on love.

Let the peace of Christ control your hearts and be thankful.

Colossians 3:12-17

Some of my earliest religious memories revolve around the image of Mary, Joseph and the child Jesus - the Holy Family of Nazareth! I credit that to Sister Mary Ancilla, my first and second grade teacher. I remember how important the Holy Family was to her and so it became important to us, her students. It was probably a Sisters of Charity thing, having their Motherhouse in Nazareth, Kentucky, and all! 

 

The Holy Family of Nazareth was presented to us, even as first graders, as the ideal family and we were challenged to model our own families after them!  That always made me a little more than uncomfortable. I knew that Rhodelia was not Nazareth and we Knotts were not Jesus, Mary and Joseph! I always felt we missed the mark by a couple of hundred miles! We were certainly not holy card sweet by any stretch of the imagination!

 

I don’t have my own family, but in the seminary I was pumped full of pious ideas about what a “good priest” should be. I could never measure up to those, nor would I really want to these days. I have worked hard to create a priesthood I can live with, one that gives me life and life to the people I serve. I am not at all interested in twisting myself into being a priest in the image of the old 1950 movie, “Going My Way!” So, I have a little understanding of what families go through when the church “idealizes” family life and people feel they can’t measure up to Jesus, Mary and Joseph or some TV family of the 1950s like “Leave it to Beaver.” The traditional family of the 1950s was a brand-new and short-lived phenomenon. We can't return to the days of the "traditional" family because they hardly existed in the first place. Many times, the models being held up as "ideal" did not inspire us to reach for that ideal, they actually made us ashamed of ourselves!

As a preacher, I have always found this feast hard to preach for that very reason. Families today are going through a great upheaval so pushing too much idealism can actually make some struggling families feel defective and judged: single parent families, blended families, interracial families, adoptive families, same sex families and foster families.  These families need encouragement and support, not condemnation and judgment. Preachers today have to be careful how they preach on this feast or somebody could get hurt!  But, you know, the more I read the story of the Holy Family, the more I realize that theirs was not the idealized family that was presented to me as a child. They had problems too, real problems! What made them “holy” was not that they were problem free, what made them “holy” was how they addressed their problems and rose above them. 

 

Mary conceived Jesus before she was officially married. Joseph considered divorce at one point. Mary gave birth in a barn, away from home. Joseph and Mary were so poor that all they could offer was two doves when Jesus was presented in the Temple. We are told in today’s gospel that Jesus, Mary and Joseph were refugees in a foreign country, trying to avoid a child-killing maniac king. As we read in another gospel, when Jesus was 12 years old, he was listed as a missing person for a few days on one of their trips to Jerusalem. Joseph seems to disappear in the gospels after that, so Mary was probably a widow and single parent at some point early in Jesus' life.

 

Jesus was almost lynched by a mob of angry parishioners after a sermon in his own hometown of Nazareth. At one point in his ministry, some of Jesus relatives showed up and tried to take him home, convinced that he had actually lost his mind. Mary had to watch Jesus tried and executed like a common criminal.  What made the “holy family” “holy,” was not that they were problem free. What made them “holy” was the way they handled their defects and problems!

 

It does no good whatsoever to beat families over the head with some idealized and romantic notion of family life. Whether we like it or not, families have changed, and I believe that most families are doing the best they can --- and many of them are doing it against great odds! They need encouragement, not judgment!

 

I struggled again this year with what to say about families on this feast of the Holy Family, but after thinking about it for several days, this idea came to me over the holidays. Families don’t just happen! They must be created! As long as our parents were alive, we were a family because of them.  We automatically got together with them, but after they died, after we sold the family home, being a family became a decision.  These days, somebody has to take the lead to get us together. I used to do it years ago when I first moved to Louisville. My sister, Nancy, had been hosting most of our sibling Christmas dinner each year.  Two years ago, my sister Lois took over.  Each year, I always said at some point at those family gatherings, “We need to love and appreciate each other because one of us may not be here next year!” A few months after I said that one year, my youngest sister died of a brain tumor, followed by two brothers-in-law, an aunt and two cousins! I said it again this year. We have no idea who might be gone by next Christmas!

 

One Christmas, I got the best surprise Christmas present ever from my family. My youngest brother gathered up some of my nieces and nephews and their kids and brought dinner to my house. I usually have to go to them. A few years ago, when they left, they gave me a box of letters from my 20 nieces and nephews, thanking me for all the times I have “been there” for them and how proud they are of me! I was deeply and profoundly moved because it was something totally new and unexpected.

 

This year, we did not get together as siblings for the first time since our parents died. Maybe because my oldest sister is now living in an assisted living place in Elizabethtown, another sister has died and the others have children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren. My youngest brother, also single, came up Christmas Day and I fixed dinner for the two of us! It’s not like it used to be, but we made the most of it and tried out a new tradition or two to celebrate the changes within our aging family.  

 

As times change, even those of us who are single should try to create surrogate families, even circles of friends if necessary, with whom we can share and celebrate and even commiserate. To have friends, we must be a friend! We have to give to others, what we want from them: respect, love, support, honesty and fidelity. Friendships, like all forms of family, are a matter of intention and work, not luck!

 

On this Feast of the Holy Family, I salute all the families here today, in all your great variety! Some of you are nothing less than heroic in your efforts to maintain your families. Don't beat yourselves up if you are not some idealized "cookie cutter" family, just do the best you can with what you have! 

 

Whatever family we have created for ourselves, the values on which we can build a “holy” family remain the same. They are the values mentioned in the readings selected for this feast: (READ SLOWLY) heartfelt compassion, kindness, forgiveness, humility, gentleness, patience, gratitude, care, respect and love. When all the members of a family strive to live by those values, they build not only a family that is mutually lifegiving, but also a “holy” family!

 

 

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHURCH CHAT #8

 

DO NOT BE AFRAID

 

The angel said to the shepherds “Do no be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you 

and all people good news of great joy.  A savior has been born to you."

Luke 2:11

Do you know what the first thing human beings said to God? According to the Book of Genesis, the first thing human beings said to God was this: “I was afraid.” The word “afraid” appears many, many times in the Bible, most of the time along with the command, “Do not be afraid.” They were the words of Gabriel when he appeared to Mary when she first conceived. They were the words of the angel to Joseph when he decided to accept Mary and her unexpected pregnancy. They were the words the angel spoke to the women after the resurrection. They were the words of Jesus to his disciples when he appeared to them in the upper room after he had risen from the dead. They are his words to the shepherds in the gospel today and they are words addressed to us gathered here again this Christmas in the year 2025. 

As one who has preached 55 Christmases, it has occurred to me several times that more often than not, we have the tendency to reduce the Christmas story we just read to childish sentimentalism, when underneath it has at its core a very adult and real message of hope in times of great disappointment and loss. When we reduce it to pious sentimentalism, we can just keep it safely “out there” somewhere. When we infantilize it and reduce it to mere “cuteness,” “sweetness,” “sentimentalism,” and “niceness” we don’t have to deal with its very adult message. Santa Claus may be for children, but the message of Christmas is a powerful message for serious adults. 

“Do not be afraid,” is a message directed to the shepherds and to us! “Do not be afraid,” is easier said than done. Most of us are afraid at some time or another and some of us all the time. We are afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone, afraid of strangers, afraid of flying, afraid of heights, afraid of the water, afraid of germs, afraid of dying, afraid of getting old and sick, afraid of losing our jobs, afraid of not finding a spouse, afraid of losing a spouse, afraid of driving, afraid of losing our savings, afraid of getting pregnant, afraid of crowds, afraid of closed spaces, afraid of failure, afraid of success and, yes, afraid to move on after a terrible loss - the list goes on and on. 

It occurred to me the other day that the fear we experience after a loss is not so much about the fear of what has happened to the person we lost, but the fear about what is going to happen to us as we go on without the one we lost. Sometimes the hardest part of a loss isn’t letting go of the past, but rather learning to start over. It is embracing a “new way of being” that most fills us with doubt and fear. It’s as if the question “What am I going to do now?” keeps flashing before our eyes without letting up. My own niece summed it up quite well when her young husband died of cancer. “I knew who I was yesterday, but I don’t know who I am today.” That’s what fear is usually all about – not the past, but the future – our future without the one we lost. 

A few years ago, I had to go through the death of a dream I had for retirement. It hit suddenly and it hit hard, leaving me disappointed, angry and confused. I had to come to terms with the fact that the future I expected, wanted and planned on for years was not going to happen after all. I went through a grieving process – a painful process of letting go. One day, I read something that restored my hope and helped me let go. This is what it said: “A ‘Plan B life’ can be just as good or better than a ‘Plan A life." You just have to let go of that first dream and realize that God has already written the first chapter of the new life that awaits you. All you have to do is start reading that new chapter.” Thinking about it, this has been true over and over again in my life. 

As I waited for God to reveal “Plan B” for my next few years, I remember a quote from Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, that applied to me. You will probably remember part of the quote, but maybe not know who said it. “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Jesus was right when he said, “Fear is useless. What is needed is trust.” In my own life, it seems that the closer I have become to God, the less afraid I have become of life’s ups and downs. The older I get, the more I can look back on the times when I was afraid and realize that most of it was useless. I like to think of it as practice for facing the “big fear,” my fear of dying. The more times I have been able to let go of my fears and chose to trust God, the more I can do it. Most of the things I worried about never happened. In fact, most of the time when I have been able to trust God, unimaginable good things have happened instead. I did get through the seminary, even though the head priest at St. Thomas Seminary called me a “hopeless case!” I did enjoy my assignment in Southern Kentucky Missions even though I thought it was going to be hell. I was successful at the Cathedral even though I thought it was way beyond my abilities. Even though I thought the world was coming to an end when the sexual abuse scandal hit Louisville, it led to writing my column in The Record for over fifteen years and publishing over 40 books instead. I thought my years as a vocation director was a disaster because of the sexual abuse scandal, but instead it led to a $2 million dollar Lilly Endowment grant to implement my dream of starting the Institute for Priests and Presbyterates at St. Meinrad Seminary which led me to present over 140 priest retreats in 10 countries! Even in retirement, I was able to take 12 trips to do "mission work" in the Caribbean - and even after that, in the last two years I have been doing "mission work" in Africa. With faith, I am not afraid of "set backs" because my big breakdowns have always led to the beginning of another breakthrough! So far, so good! 

Friends, the words in Isaiah are meant for us. “Say to those whose hearts are frightened: be strong, fear not!” The words of the angels to the shepherds in the gospel tonight are meant for us: “Do not be afraid!” The words of Jesus in both the gospels of Mark and Luke are also meant for us, “Fear is useless. What is needed is trust.” These words are invitations to turn it all over to God and wait for “Plan B” to reveal itself. Remember, also, that many of the things that appear to be a tragedy one year may become something marvelous, more marvelous than we could ever imagine, the next. The secret is not to give up or give into our fear. As Dale Carnegie said “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” An unknown author said this, “Don’t get discouraged; it is often the last key on the ring that opens the lock.”

And so I say to any of you whose hearts are frightened this Christmas, “Be strong! Fear not!” Today’s breakdown may just be tomorrow’s breakthrough. In the meantime, tell yourself this: “I need not be afraid! I am strong! With God’s help, I can handle this!” 

Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you

good news of great joy. 

COWARDICE IS CONTAGIOUS, BUT SO IS COURAGE

 

The thing I will remember most about 2025 is the infection and contagion of cowardice in our country among political leaders, religious leaders, business leaders and educational leaders in the face of their fear of personal loss coming at them from political and religious backlash. I am tired of watching it happen! Really tired of it! 

I wrote an autobiographical book about my own life and how I have tried to stand up to my own personal cowardice and push myself toward courage. It is called BETWEEN COURAGE AND COWARDICE: Doing Hard Things For Your Own Good. It is available from Amazon Books through this link ronknottbooks.com Writing that book was not possible until I was able to tell the truth about my growing up and my seminary training by standing up to my fear of judgment and repercussions from my family members, parishioners, friends and fellow priests. 

I know from reading about prophets that telling the truth can get you killed or marginalized - often without mercy. Prophets are not so much people who predict the future as people who get up in your face and make you look at present truths you are trying not to see.  Today, we would call them “whistle blowers,” people who drag the truth out into the light of day whether it is convenient or not! Like prophets of old, whistle blowers are often considered “nut cases” at first. Like prophets of old, whistle blowers often get themselves killed, either actually or figuratively, because most establishments do not like to have their boats rocked or their embarrassing truths to come out into the open. Instead of heeding the truth, people usually turn on the truth-teller. If you have ever been involved in such an action, you know just how dangerous telling the truth can be. If you were not physically hurt, you may have been labeled or blackballed for years and maybe even for life.  

We still kill prophets in a host of creative ways. We shun friends who will not go along with us when we invite them to agree with us when do wrong.  We rage against "wokeness" when what it exposes is too painful to admit. We ridicule the teaching of the Church, and those who teach what the Church teaches, when it won’t bless the wrongs we want to do. We call evil good and good evil so that we can live with inconvenient truths, even when we know in our guts that what we are doing is wrong.     

I have learned the hard way that people who tell you what you want to hear are not necessarily your friends and people who tell you want you don't want to hear are not necessarily your enemies! In preparation for my annual "Stay-Home New Year's Eve Retreat" when I focus on where I want to direct myself in 2026, I have begun thinking about where I should focus my attention. Instead of focusing on what I can't do and feeling bad about it, I am going to choose to do what I can, where I can, and feel good about it. Instead of choosing the easy path of cowardice and letting myself off the hook, I am committed to choose the hard path of courage and putting myself on the hook!  So far, I think my new year's resolution for 2026 is going to be to "step up my courage" especially in my writing and let the chips fall where they may! I will be careful. I will not "sound off" without regard to other people's points of view, but I am going to try to be more committed to telling the truth, regardless of its boomerang repercussions, because I believe that truth still matters! 

I believe, both from my own experience and from my knowledge of history, that cowardice is contagious and so is courage. 

For courage to replace the present plague of cowardice, all it takes is for a couple of heroes to be "martyred" to snap people out of it and choose to change directions - to choose courage over cowardice. Cowardice is about giving into fear! Courage is about standing up to fear! Cowards are a dime a dozen! Courageous people are worth a fortune!