BEING MORE INTENTIONAL ABOUT VERY ORDINARY THINGS - FOUR

This is the fourth in a series of periodic reflections on the "ordinary things" that many people do on a regular basis without much thought. During this pandemic, I am developing a need to "rage, rage" against hast and laziness and replace it with care and attention. My hope is to become personally more intentional about doing ordinary things with care and focused attention, while inspiring others to maybe do the same.  

#4 

 "EXPLORING YOUR SECRETS"

Here is a scary exercise that some of you might consider. I have done it and believe me it is scary! What is it? Take a pen and pencil and make of list of your most personal secrets - the kind of person that you know you really are, the things that you have done or still do that you are ashamed of or the things for which you would rather die before having them exposed to the light of day. Do it without self-judgment and self-condemnation. We all have scars, sins, wrongdoings, mistakes, blunders, missed opportunities, bad decisions and improper choices in our histories. Remember, there's only one group of people who do not have personal "secrets," and they are all dead.

Of course, I recommend that you destroy your list as soon as you are finished, lest it fall into the wrong hands. It is meant for your eyes only so that you can have more insight into yourself. Socrates said, "To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom!" Shakespeare said, "This above all - to thine own self be true." Jesus said, "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." 

Believing that you have made mistakes is one thing. Believing you are a mistake is another. Examination of conscience and confession of sins, a basic tradition in the Christian faith, has so often been misunderstood and even ridiculed by our culture. We hear people cynically refer to “Catholic guilt.” What they are talking about is “shame,” not “guilt.”  “Guilt” says “I have made a mistake.” “Shame” says “I am a mistake.”  If the Church helps us feel “shame” because of who we are, that is bad! If the Church helps us feel “guilt” because of the evil we do, that is good!  
  

In Scripture, as soon as we were created, we are told that God looked at us and declared us "good," "very good!" That came before the story of the fall of Adam and Eve. God never meant Adam and Eve be ashamed of themselves but to simply recognize the wrong they had done - basically to themselves! 

In Scripture, it is clear that we were created "in the image and likeness of God" and therefore should never be ashamed of who we are, but own up to the bad we do to ourselves and others. In Scripture, it seems that God is more concerned about our learning from our sins than keeping count of them! He seems to want us to admit our mistakes, not just so that we will feel bad about making them, but so that we can make progress in overcoming them. Devoid of introspection, ignorant people keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again, either because they want to deny them or seek to blame others for them, instead of owning them. Wise people admit their mistakes easily. They know that progress in overcoming them accelerates when they do. 

There is a world of difference in believing you are a good person, capable of sometimes doing bad things and believing you are a bad person, capable of sometimes doing good things. 

As you review your secrets, please, please, please remember the difference between shame and guilt!  Shame is about who you are! Guilt is about what you have done! 

In the end, our biggest sin, no doubt, is to get to that place where we start calling good evil and evil good.