This is the fifth in a series of periodic reflections on the "ordinary things" that many people do on a regular basis without much thought. During this pandemic, I am developing a need to "rage, rage" against hast and laziness and replace it with care and attention. My hope is to become personally more intentional about doing ordinary things with care and focused attention, while inspiring others to maybe do the same.
#5
"PAYING ATTENTION"
The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It's focused attention.
Rick Warren
Rick Warren
I find it amazing how many times we look at things, but never really see what we are looking it. Take a US dollar bill, for instance. Most of us have looked at them thousands and thousands of times in our lifetimes. However, if you ask most people how many colors of ink are used on the back of a one-dollar bill, they can't tell you. Many guess that there are three, maybe two, but in reality there is only one color of ink on the back of a US one-dollar bill - green. That's why they are sometimes called "greenbacks."
Attention is the key to so many things related to our lives. We have to pay attention to walk across the street. We know our relationships are more satisfying if we actually pay attention to one another. Driving a car requires a lot of attention. Our business affairs require our attention. All of this seems somehow self evident.
Attention is noticing and being with something without trying to change it. It means to be able to look at it "as it is," not as we imagine it "should be." Attention takes the time to fully explore, to discover whatever there is to know about something, to watch as things change by themselves without our trying to ‘fix" anything. Attention is patient and attention is kind. No rush. No burden. No criticism.
Healing an injury requires the practice of paying attention, of being with something fully, of focusing upon it over and over again without pushing it away or trying to change it. It is in paying attention that we will discover the tiny threads of healing and transformation that are developing moment to moment. Losing weight requires attention to the food we eat and the exercise we get. It is attention, not judgement, that will help our brains rewire.
Paying attention is ultimately an act of loving kindness towards ourselves. If we love a child, we pay attention to her/him. We watch this child thrive as we give her/him our attention. We know this works. In this way we are not different from the child. We too will thrive with attention and as adults, we have the capacity to give that attention to ourselves. Is that not what we mean when we say to someone when we leave them, "take care of yourself?"
During this time of pandemic, when my world seems to have shrunken a bit, I am trying to pay more attention to things right in front of me, things I have sometimes in the past failed to notice - failed to pay attention to.
Out of fear that I would get fat and lazy, without even being aware of it, I have been paying close attention to what I am eating. I have for all practical purposes, cut out bread, sugar and other carbohydrates. When I want to watch TV, I give myself permission only if I am on the treadmill while I am watching it! So far, I have maintained the weight I lost, I sleep better and I think my immune system has been strengthened.
I haven't been able to travel, go to restaurants, see people at church and visit people at the coffee shop. To replace all that visual and interactive stimulation, I have started to do things that help me pay closer attention to the small, ordinary things. I have gotten up early several times just to fix a good cup of coffee, go out on the deck and feel the cool air, see the opening buds, watch the gentle rain fall on the pond, hear the birds chirp and the trees bend in the breeze. I don't really care what the weather is like because there is something new to notice whatever it is! I read once that "there is not such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing." I have come to believe that "bad weather" is in the eye of the beholder.
I haven't been able to be around a lot of people for the last eight weeks but I have tried to pay more attention to what people are saying when I do talk to them. Instead of preparing what I will say when they finish talking, I try to encourage them to talk more while I pay more attention to what they say - to the person behind the talker.
I don't get out a lot, but when I do I try to really "see" those who are performing vital services. First I try to realize that many of them cannot afford to be safe "in place" like me! I greet them more. I compliment them more. I even tip them more. Giving attention to the men and women who do menial tasks for us is the least we can do!
Even though I had to cancel trip number 13 to the islands, I have not quit my ministry with them and among them. In fact, I have become even more aware that, even though there are needs here in this country, their needs are even more acute. Charity may "begin" at home, but it doesn't have to "stay" at home!
To live well, to live on purpose rather than being passive and letting anything and everything happen, requires disciplined attention.
To live well is a lot like driving a car – you have to be able to see what is going on behind you, in front of you and all around you, but all at once. You have to learn from your past, plan for your future and be alert to what is happening in your life right now.
Jesus reminds us in the gospel to be “watchful” and “alert,” warning us that “we don’t know when the Lord will come.” It says that he “may come suddenly and find us sleeping,” so we need to “watch,” “wake up” and “pay attention.”
Living well, alert and watchful, is hard work. Our lazy side must be stood up to, over and over again. Our lazy side tells us that we have plenty of time, that we can get around to it someday and that we can cut corners for a little while longer. Our lazy side is our sinful side. The best definition of “sin” I ever heard was that it is at its root giving in to laziness. When we “sin,” we choose the “easy way” rather than the “right way.” Laziness is the opposite of “staying awake and staying alert.”
If you look at it closely, all sin is about laziness. Theft has laziness at its root. It is easier to take what belongs to others than it is to work for what is your own. Theft is a lazy shortcut to getting what we want. Gossip has laziness at its root. It is easier to cut others down to our size than it is to build ourselves up. Gossip is a lazy shortcut to feeling good about ourselves. Pornography has laziness at its root. It is easier to relate to an anonymous printed or projected image than it is to build intimacy with real people. Pornography is a lazy shortcut to feelings of intimacy. Excessive eating and drinking has laziness at its root. It is easier to do the things that feel good to our bodies than it is to do things that are truly good for our bodies. Excessive eating and drinking is a substitute for facing unpleasant feelings. Taking recreational drugs has laziness at its root. It is easier to take a pill or snort a substance that gives us an artificial high than it is to work for the high of a deeply spiritual life in relationship with God and others. “Following the crowd” has laziness at its root. It is easier to gain acceptance by “doing what everybody else is doing” than it is to “do the right thing” and risk rejection. Yes, all “sin” is about choosing the “lazy way,” about choosing the “easy way” over the “right way.”
St. John Paul II gave us some great advice for daily living when he put it this way: "Remember the past with gratitude! Live in the present with enthusiasm! Look to the future with confidence!"
Would that you would meet us doing right
and being mindful of your ways.
Isaiah 63:7-9; 64:3-4
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