One of the greatest benefits of priest retirement is to be able to look in the rear view mirror to see where you have been, what you have done, who you have met and what you have experienced. To be able to do that in comfort, you have to be able to look back with confidence and pride. Otherwise, it would trigger a nightmare of regret, disappointment and grief. As John Greenleaf Whittier wrote in his classic piece, Maud Muller, “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'”
I've written about it before, a few years ago when I was turning 75, and it occurred to me then that so far I had spent my whole life focusing on looking ahead. At that age, it occurred to me that it might be a good to time to start looking back, assessing how far I had come, patting myself on the back a little and celebrating a few successes before plowing ahead with some more ambitious projects.
The occasion came when the diocese asked us priests to update our funeral plans. This involved not only my funeral Mass plans, but also the updating of my Last Will and Testament and my legal "end of life" wishes. As part of this work, I decided to go ahead and put my tombstone in place and have that task out of the way.
I probably spent most of the time on my simple tombstone. I spent hours and hours trying to come up with a few word that would summarize my life as I looked back and reflected on it. When I got to where I was satisfied, I realized that I could summarize my first 75 years in just four words - "simply amazed - forever grateful."
When I looked back over my first 75 years, I found myself "simply amazed" at the opportunities that God had placed in front of me and "simply amazed" at the grace he gave me to embrace those opportunities. When I look back in "amazement," I realize that I am certainly not the origin of the blessings that I have experienced over those many years, so the only response that would be appropriate would be to be forever overcome with gratitude.
Oh, yes, one of the greatest benefits of priest retirement so far is to be able to find myself "simply amazed - forever grateful" for what I have seen, heard and experienced while expecting even more blessings in whatever time I have left! Whoever I meet and whatever happens next will simply be "icing on the cake!"
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