GIVEN AT ST. LEONARD CHURCH
As we said in the Confiteor today, we can sin in two ways – by what we do and what we fail to do. We can
sin by excessively over-inflating our worth and thinking too highly of
ourselves, but we can also sin by devaluating ourselves and thinking too little
of ourselves.
When we think too highly of ourselves and too little of others, we are guilty of narcissism. Narcissism is the term used
to describe excessive vanity and self-centeredness. The condition was named
after a mythological Greek youth named Narcissus who became infatuated with his
own reflection in a lake. He did not realize at first that it was his own
reflection, but when he did, he died out of grief for having fallen in love
with someone who did not exist outside himself.
Narcissistic personalities
are characterized by unwarranted feelings of self-importance. They expect to be
recognized as superior and special, without necessarily demonstrating superior
accomplishments. They exhibit a sense of entitlement, demonstrate grandiosity
in their beliefs and behaviors and display a strong need for admiration.
When narcissistic people talk about church attendance, they usually say things like “I don’t go because I don’t get anything out of it!” “I, I, I, I, I!” When they say things like that, they inflate their importance by putting themselves in the center of the picture. The purpose of church attendance is not about the attendee "getting" something. It's about the attendee "giving" something! We come to Church to give God worship and praise! We come here, not to get, but to give and to learn. We come here to give God thanks and to learn how to serve others!
When narcissistic people
talk about marriage, they talk about what it will do for them. People who marry
successfully get married to be love-givers, not love-getters! As Jesus said,
“It is in giving that one receives!” Receiving is not a goal, but a by-product,
of both marriage and ordination.
When narcissistic young
people talk about what to do with their lives, they ask themselves “what do I
want to do or what do I want to be that will make me happy?" The real question
is not what do I want to do, but what is God calling me to do that will
lead me to happiness? Jesus was right, “Those who seek to save their lives will
lose them, while those who seek to give their lives away, will save them.”
Albert Schweitzer was right when he said, and narcissistic people will never
get it, “The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have
sought and found out how to serve.” Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was right when
he said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for
others?”
Pope Francis talks a lot
about a “self-referential church,” in other words a narcissistic church. He
says that when the Church does not look beyond itself, when it is always
focused on itself, it gets sick. He keeps reminding us that the Church is the moon and Christ the sun. The
Church exists to reflect the light of Christ to the world, not to live within
herself, of herself and for herself.
The other extreme to
narcissism is self-deprecation or the minimization and devaluation of oneself. Both narcissism and the devaluation of one's self are sins. The first and last reading today are about humility, but what many of us were taught
about humility needs to be reevaluated! Humility is about accepting the
truth about who we are, without exaggerating it or minimizing it.
“Humility” comes from the Latin “humus,” meaning “earth.” “Humility” means
“grounded.” A truly “humble” person, truly in touch with his strengths and
weaknesses, neither inflates his worth nor devalues it.
It is this truth that Jesus
spent his ministry trying to teach. He taught it to the religious leaders of
his day who were so arrogant and self-inflated that they started out talking
about God and ended up thinking they were gods. He taught it to the
marginalized of his day who were so beaten down that they did not recognize
their own goodness and the image of God within themselves. As Mary said,
"He pulls the mighty from their thrones and lifts up the lowly from their
dung heaps."
Brothers and sisters! God has entrusted gifts to
us to be used! When we do not use our gifts, even deny we have them, we neither
serve God nor the people we are called to serve. There is great responsibility
that goes with being the light of the world and having talents! It scares us.
We tend to shy away from that responsibility.
In that arena, the prophet
Jonah is a patron saint. Jonah was called to preach to the people of Nineveh.
He considered himself a poor preacher on one hand and the Ninevites not worth
saving on the other. To get away from his unwelcomed call and the responsibility that went with it, he went down to the
docks and bought a ticket on the next ship sailing in the opposite direction
from Nineveh. He thought he could outrun God's call!
In his version of a
get-away-car, Jonah is pictured going to sleep in the bottom of his boat while
a storm raged, a symbol today of “denial.” The psychologist Abraham Maslow
calls such spiritual and emotional truancy the Jonah Complex: “The evasion of
one’s own growth, the setting of low levels of aspiration, the fear of doing
what one is capable of doing, voluntary self-crippling, pseudo-stupidity, mock
humility.”
The fact is, most of us are afraid
of both our failure and our success. A calling makes us wonder if we are good enough,
smart enough, disciplined enough, educated enough, patient enough, and inspired
enough. We manage our fear by “going to sleep,” “settling for too little” and
“self-sabotage.” We both crave and fear becoming who we are called to be!
Thomas Merton was right,
“The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.” Maybe our biggest
sin is not what we do, but what we fail to do! Michelangelo put it this way.
“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss
it, but that it is too low and we reach it.”
Magnanimity and humility are
the virtues specific to a full life. Magnanimity is the habit of striving for great
things in oneself, in reaching one’s full potential. Humility is the habit of
serving others by bringing out their greatness, giving them the capacity to
realize their human potential. Together they constitute the essence of
leadership. In short, magnanimity and humility are about loving oneself and loving
one's neighbor.
Magnanimity affirms our own
individual personal dignity and greatness. Magnanimity is the thirst to lead a full and
intense life through passionate and enthusiastic action. The magnanimous person
is one whose heart is set on achieving personal excellence because he considers
himself worthy of doing great things. A self-doubting, insecure, self-hating,
lazy and timid person will never be able to become a fully developed person in the world, in
the church or in the family.
The other virtue essential
to becoming a fully developed person is humility. Humility affirms the dignity and greatness of
others. Humility is the thirst to love and sacrifice for the good of others. Humility is
not about displays of personal power, but the empowerment of others. Humility
is about authentic love. Authentic love is not merely about having warm
feelings toward another. It is about offering them practical helpfulness in
their growth as human beings.
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