I am very worried about the future of our culture at a time when meanness, cruelty and hate are being modeled even by our highest and most visible political leaders. I can't help believing that their actions and words are actually teaching people that it's OK to act and talk that way! If it can be reversed at all, it will probably take generations to undo.
Along with this disturbing trend, our media sources seem to be addicted to focusing on the worst side of human behavior and constantly giving it a stage and a spotlight to wallow in! Our media sources are well known for focusing on "the plane that did crash" instead of "the hundreds and hundreds of planes flying that day that didn't crash!" I even had a blog post with a few examples of recent bad human behavior on August 17, and how it was being focused on, entitled: "GETTING OUT OF THIS WORLD JUST IN TIME?"
What is even more disturbing to a religious leader like myself is the impotence of organized religion to do much about changing this situation. I can't help from concluding that our impotence to positively influence the culture comes mainly from our own loss of credibility that comes from the fact that our own sins are being exposed to the light of day! Instead of lecturing others for their shortcomings, we need to take on the attitude of Father Damien of Molokai, Hawaii, when he was famously able to start his homily with the words "we lepers" instead of his usual "you lepers" after admitting that he too had contracted the disease.
Today, I want to write about the advantages of reflecting on one's own past experiences and what can be learned from them.
My seminary formation (1958-1964) at St. Thomas Seminary, a minor seminary here in Louisville, focused on identifying sins in oneself and others that one could condemn. Ken Follett, in his novel "Pillars of the Earth," called it "mousing for vermin!" In a culture of "finding fault," we were forever "examining our consciences" and ranting about "personal and communal weaknesses." In such a culture, we were never able to feel very good about ourselves or each other. We focused more on our sinners than we did on our saints!
The second half of my seminary formation (1964-1970) at St. Meinrad Seminary over in Indiana was quite different! It focused on "looking for goodness to affirm" in oneself and others. It focused on moving from "powerlessness to powerfulness," from "being a victim to being a victor" and from "shrinking to expanding." We spent more time on virtue and less on vice!
During those years, I not only moved from one state (Kentucky) to another (Indiana), I moved from one state-of-mind to another - from always looking for "bad to condemn" to "goodness to affirm." That new mindset affected me so much that years later I started writing a weekly column called "An Encouraging Word" in which I looked at the everyday people around me and tried to focus on the goodness I saw. I even published the best of those essays in a little book called "Affirming Goodness."
As a result of this new focus, I tend these days to be totally annoyed with the news and its constant focus on the most outrageous human behavior imaginable. Yes, there are certainly "weeds growing among the wheat" as Jesus put it, but I believe there are also heroes and heroic behaviors everywhere, if you have the eyes to see them! I believe that a constant focus on outrageous human behavior tends to lower the bar of human striving, while a constant focus on heroic human behavior tends to raise the bar of human striving. We need to focus more on our heroes and less on our villains!
John Lubbock was right. "What we see depends mainly on what we look for!" One translation of the the Book of Proverbs (11:27) says it even more colorfully. "Anyone can find the dirt in someone! Be the one who finds the gold!" With that perspective in mind, let we offer just one positive example from the news.
A Teenage Boy Decides To Make A Difference After Seeing His Classmates Bullied For Wearing Dirty Clothes
Megan Quinn
Sun, July 30, 2023 at 11:15 PM EDT
In the United States, one in five students between the ages of 12 to 18 report being bullied during the school year, with approximately 166,000 teenagers admitting that they have skipped school due to bullying. Victims can find themselves a target due to various reasons, one of them being physical appearance and clothing.
After one high school student discovered first hand that some of his peers were feeling self-conscious about their clothing and missing school because of it, he decided to take action that would make their lives easier and encourage them to come back to school without the fear of being teased.
In September 2022, the senior class president of Lacey Township High School, Jimmy Tomredle, learned that some of his classmates were skipping school since they had no clean clothes to wear and were concerned about being bullied.
Wanting to make a positive impact and his classmates feel more comfortable, the 18-year-old delved into some research and came across the story of West Side High School Principal, Akbar Cook, who installed five pairs of washers and dryers in the football team’s locker room so that students could do their laundry for free.
Cook’s decision was inspired after he noticed students were chronically absent from school due to not having any clean clothes. Some of them were homeless and were unable to access washers and dryers.
As a project for his Leadership Academy of Humanities Program, Tomredle worked alongside school staff and local appliance stores to ensure that his fellow students would be able to use laundry services at the school free of charge. He composed and sent several letters to appliance stores in the area before he received a response from Anchor Appliance in West Creek, who donated a washer and dryer to the school.
After school custodians installed the appliances in the school’s community closet, “Tomredle’s Terrifically Tidy Laundry Services” was officially open for use.
The grand opening day was complete with a ribbon-cutting ceremony, speeches, and a turnout of over 60 people, including the school district’s superintendent, teachers, students, and Tomredle’s close friends and family.
In order for students to use the laundry room, they must make an appointment via Google Forms and a teacher must be present while laundry is being done.
Tomredle provided a few of his own laundry detergent bottles to kick off the grand opening of the laundry room, however now he has started a detergent donation drive, asking others for detergent, dryer sheets, and other laundry products.
Tomredle’s actions have more of an impact on students than he may ever know. According to West Side High School Principal Akbar Cook, 85% of the student body at his school were missing three to five days of school a month since they did not have any clean clothes to wear.
Students reported that those who wore dirty clothes to school easily became a target of bullying, with their classmates making remarks about how they were “dirty” and that they “smelled.” One student even fought a security guard, refusing to allow him to check her backpack since she was homeless and had dirty clothes in her bag. “She was fighting for her pride,” Principal Cook told CNN.
According to a study consisting of 600 public school teachers, conducted by Whirlpool, a home appliance company, the link between absenteeism and no access to laundry services is high. It was discovered that one in five students do not have access to clean clothing, and often miss school because of it.
Like Tomredle, Whirlpool is dedicated to combating bullying and encouraging students to attend school. In 2017, the company donated washers and dryers to 12 schools. After one year, 93% of students who utilized the appliances reported an improvement in attendance.
No student should have to fear that they will be ridiculed and teased because they do not have the proper means to wash their clothes.
If every school was dedicated to making their students feel safe and comfortable, they would ensure that they had access to laundry services that allow them to wash their clothes and feel confident walking through the hallways. It's time more students and school staff begin having these conversations to ensure positive changes.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
No comments:
Post a Comment