Tuesday, July 23, 2024

A GOOD FRIEND'S FUNERAL HOMILY

 

     My good friend, Richard Douglas “Dubby” or “Dick” Thurman, born on April 8th, 1937, passed away peacefully at 87 on July 4,  2024, surrounded by his loving family.



While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.

Luke 15:20

Over the Christmas holidays, a couple of years ago, I got Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. It is about the opportunity to watch the 2007 movie, The Bucket List, starring two terminally ill men on a road trip with a “wish list” of things to do before they “kicked the bucket.” Since I had just officially retired, it struck a chord with me.

In one of my very favorite scenes, they are both sitting on one of the pyramids in Egypt. Morgan Freeman’s character says to Jack Nicholson’s character, “You know the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven…the gods asked them two questions. Their answer determined whether they were admitted or not. “Have you found joy in your life?” “Has your life brought joy to others?”

When Faye Thurman asked me to preside and preach at Dick’s funeral Mass today, I thought these two questions would be two great questions I imagine Dick being asked when he arrived at the gates of heaven.  “Did you find joy in your life?” “Did your life bring joy to others?” Jesus, of course, put it this way! Has God’s love for you brought you happiness? Has God’s love for you inspired you to share that happiness with others? I am confident that he is able to answer both questions with a resounding “yes.” I know from talking to him in depth that his life, especially after he “discovered his new religion,” has certainly brought joy to his life and, from what I heard around the bed right after he died, his life has certainly brought joy to the lives of his family and friends!  I heard Faye says more than once, “I am going to miss him so much!” I am sure his children feel the same way! I heard his grandchildren say, and all verbally agreed, “He was the best grandfather any grandchild ever had!” How good is that? I got an e-mail from a friend of Faye’s to whom Faye said about me, “Dick loved Father Ron!” After so many breakfasts, health crises, prayers shared, support for my projects and laughs together, talking about our humble beginnings and our Honorary Doctorates from Bellarmine, I can truly say he brought joy into my life as well. It was great to hear that my life had enriched his!  

What we are talking about here, with those two questions, is the living out of the Great Commandment. The "great commandment" of Jesus says, "Love your neighbor as yourself," not "Love your neighbor rather than yourself!" In other words, if you have no love for yourself, you will have no love to share with your neighbor!  You cannot give anybody else anything, if you don't have anything to give! As I learned in High School Latin class, "Nemo dat quod not habet." "If you ain't got it, you can't give it!" Only those who have joy in their own lives are able to bring joy into the lives of others. Only those who love themselves can love others. Only those who know how God’s loves, are inspired to love another, as they are loved!

Only those who know how God’s loves can love another as they are loved! How does God love? From 54 years of preaching, I have learned sadly that many so-called “religious” people don’t know squat about how God loves! That’s why I picked the story I read from the gospel today. Religious people who don’t know how God loves, usually mis-name this story. They call it the story of the Prodigal Son! The better name for it is the story of the Loving Father! The wayward son is not the hero of this story simply because he shaped up and came crawling back home. Neither is the uptight and pouting “perfect” son the hero simply because he stayed home, kept the rules and did what he was obligated to do! The real hero of this story is that love-crazy father who loved both of his sons – the one who got down with the pigs and the one who stayed home and did what was expected of him! You and I are one or the other of those two sons – either the wayward son who wasted his money on prostitutes and had to get a job feeding pigs or the self-righteous, uptight, religious conformist who stayed home but probably wanted, in his heart of hearts, to do some of the wild things his little brother did while he was gone!

The father in this parable stands for God! In other words, Jesus tells the people who heard this parable that God is just like the father in this story. That is why the rejects and marginalized of society flocked to Jesus! He preached the “good news” of God’s unconditional love! That is why the religious conformists hated Jesus and had him killed for this kind of talk! They preached the “bad news” of God’s conditional love, which caused people to run away from them!

So, who does God love and how does God love? God loves everybody and he loves everybody, no ands, if or buts about it! No, God does not love the evil we do, but like a good parent, he doesn’t quit loving us and abandons us when we do bad things! If the whole Bible was lost except this one story, we would still have the essence of all that Jesus came to this earth to tell us! The good and the bad alike are loved by God and we too are called to love each other, our friends as well as our enemies, as God loves us! Remember that, because there will be a test at the end of the homily to see if you heard what this story is teaching us! I believe Dick knew this truth and he would want you to know it as well!  

Dick came into my life toward the end of his life. He admitted that was not a “religious” man early on, he might have even compared himself to the prodigal son, but he “discovered” religion when he was faced with kidney disease. He told me he was inspired by his sister’s faith. He and Faye started coming to the Cathedral with Jim and Dot Patterson. I remember praying with him for a “miracle” kidney donor and looking for printed prayers to give him to encourage him. Friends, our prayers were answered and a ‘miracle” was granted! I received him into the church and I have been privileged to give him 4 of our 7 sacraments: confirmation, holy eucharist, penance and anointing of the sick! He was already baptized and married or he would have received all of them except ordination! We met regularly, talked about spiritual things, shared prayers and throughout, he took his new catholic faith very seriously! It brought him joy! Yes, it brought him joy! He brought me joy, as well, watching his spiritual life take root and grow!

Finally, friends, the parable today, applied to Dick, is this! Just like the father in that gospel story who loved both his sons, the good one and the bad one, God love the old Dick and the new Dick. Dick may have discovered religion at the end of his life, but God had been there all along - loving him all the time – both while he was away and when he came home! Today, I can imagine Jesus saying to him these familiar words, “Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your master!” ‘Enter into my joy because you welcomed that joy into your own life and you passed that joy on into the life of your family, your friends, your neighbors and your fellow men and women!’

Congratulations, Dick! You made it across the finish line! Like Faye kept saying at the hospital, we are really going to miss you, but someday we hope to see you again! In the meantime, pray for us and we will pray for you! We say that because he used to say the Creed with us every Sunday when we all professed together that “we believe in the communion of saints,” which is to say that we believe in a holy and unbroken connection between the living and the dead! 

Finally, let me say this – something I try to say at every funeral. Friends, if there are any slights, hard feelings or neglect between you and Dick Thurman or between Dick Thurman and you, let it go! God has forgiven him! God has forgiven you! He did his best and so did you! He is at peace and so can you be at peace! Let it go!

Now for the test! So that you won’t flunk, I am going to give you a hint! It’s one word and it begins with an “e!” Here goes!

FATHER KNOTT: Who does God love?

CONGREGATION: Everybody!

FATHER KNOTT: Correct! You get an A+! Now, go love each other as God loves Dick Thurman and you!  

 

 

 

 

 

 


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