Compared to a lot of people much younger than me, I am still in pretty good shape for an 80 year old! (Even typing that number, and seeing it in print, makes me want to go back and delete it!) As much as I would like to deny being 80, I am doing my best to embrace it and make the most of it by telling myself that, at least, I am not 90 yet! However, it is not lost on me that the clock is gradually winding down!
I am consoled by the fact that I have been planning for this age since I was ordained and I have have taught other young priests about the "how" and the "necessity" of starting to plan early with the end in mind! (1) I started saving when I was 26 for the day when I would own my own retirement home. Even though my salary was $90.00 a month and Mass stipends were $2.00 a day, I opened a "Christmas Club" account at a bank in Somerset, Kentucky. I never spent it at Christmas time, but kept it up for 5 years which gave me a down payment for my first small house. Skipping most vacations and doing extra work like giving retreats and parish missions, I kept buying, remodeling and flipping houses (6 in all) over the years until I was able to outright "own" my own home a few years ago. In my later years, I have also managed to save enough to live without serious financial worries going into my retirement years. (2) When I was teaching at St. Meinrad Seminary, I gave each diocesan graduate in my "Transition Out of Seminary and Into Ministry" class $100.00 to open their IRA (Individual Retirement Account). I always opened the class with these meant-to-shock words: "Don't trust the Church to take care of you when you are old! It is "supposed" to, but what if it "can't" or "won't?" Instead, I asked them to develop a "personal financial plan" telling me how they would take their salaries and benefits and pay off debts, give to charities and save for retirement. I stressed the necessity of "planning with the end in mind." No one had ever taught my class before. It was my invention. I did that each semester for fourteen years. Some of them might remember me and thank me when I am gone for opening their eyes to the realities of money management and aging!
Personally, what concerns me these days are not financial concerns. I have been preparing financially since I was 26. My concerns now are mostly health concerns and concerns about the good I have done, if any, that I will leave behind.
I had two overnight trips to the hospital early this year. Once for prostate surgery and a necessitated follow-up for a blood transfusion. The only other trips to the hospital since the 3rd grade for a tonsillectomy and anemia, was a rotator cuff repair from lifting a heavy pot over my head twenty years ago and a blood clot almost ten years ago from flying too much giving priest retreats in ten countries.
Other than that, at 80 I have no high blood pressure, no joint issues, no heart problems and no diabetes. I get an annual physical. I get all the injections I can get to ward off things like COVID, the flu, pneumonia, shingles and I keep my other injections up-to-date.
What scares me, I guess, is what might happen! Since I know so many old people (people my age), I seem to get more and more calls about their health problems. I realize almost daily, "There, but for the grace of God, go I!" It is not lost on me either that these days, I do a lot more funerals than I do baptisms or weddings, and many of those funerals are for people younger than me! I am not in a panic yet, but daily I realize there are more days behind me than in front of me so I try to stay committed to the old slogans, "Make hay while the sun shines!" and "Carpe diem! (Seize the day!)"
With all this on my mind, I wrote a blog post recently about my "addiction to projects." While I have been tempted to "not take on any more projects," I am failing miserably to let go of my beloved "project obsession." They may no longer be "big projects," but they are "many." Right now, I am counting five small projects that I am involved in! I was tempted to back out of taking on any more such projects, but I know they are good for me because they keep my mind off myself and my needs and put it on other people and their needs. I have decided to keep "taking on projects" because they keep me turned "outward" rather than "inward" which I believe is good for my health!
I realize at 80 that there are a few things I can do to help myself stay healthy, even though I have little power over the aging process, that I am deeply involved in at this point in life! I also realize at 80, there are still a few things I can do to help others, both young and old, stay positive and engaged in life by using what talents and resources I have as long as I can!
"I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
This George Bernard Shaw quote will be the guidance I have decided to focus on in my remaining years. I first realized the truth of his words in a moment of grace on a fire-escape at St. Meinrad Seminary @ 1964. Since then I have been "simply amazed and forever grateful" as my life continues to unwind.
Who knows? Maybe I will make it to 100? I just hope I can escape a long and painful exit while being a burden to others! The ideal end for me is not the length of years, but to go to bed one night and not wake up the next morning or at least be conscious and pain-free enough to freely choose to leap into the great unknown where "eye has not seen nor ear heard the great things God has in store for those who love him!"
And, yes, I hope to get there without ever having to swallow a handful of Balance of Nature and Prevagen capsules every day!
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