ACCEPTING FORGIVENESS

Peter was distressed that Jesus had said to

him a third time, “Do you love me?” and

said to him, “Lord, you know everything;

you know that I love you.”

John 21

St. Peter is a hero of mine. His real name, of course, was Simon. The name “Peter” (from the Latin word “petros”) was just a nickname meaning a “rock.”  Today, we might call him “Rocky.” Jesus must have given him that name tongue-in-cheek because Simon was anything but rock-solid. I am sure the other apostles laughed their heads off when they heard Jesus give him that name. “Mr. Softy,” or “Mr. Marshmallow” was more like it!

Peter, as well as his brother Andrew, both apostles, were fishermen by trade, from a long line of fishermen. Their father’s name was John or Jonah. We know Peter was a married man and both he and his brother Andrew were from the town of Bethsaida.

I never paid much attention to this apostle until 1975 when I became pastor of a church named after him, St. Peter Church, down in Monticello below Lake Cumberland. That’s when I started noticing this wonderful, bumbling, brash apostle and his antics. He talked big and meant well, but when it came right down to it, he was forever falling on his face and sticking his foot into his mouth. Because he had a big heart, Jesus loved him anyway. He gives me hope, especially when I try and fail.

When Jesus was teaching his apostles about the necessity of his suffering and death and how he would be deserted even by his closest friends, it was Peter who had bragged that, even if everyone else deserted him, he would never, ever, do such a thing. In response to his bragging, Jesus warned Peter that he would end up someday denying him; not once, not twice, but three times. Sure enough, as we read during Holy Week, when the heat was on and Jesus was about to be arrested, Peter denied that he had even heard of him.

The story today takes place during those depressing and confusing few days after Jesus’ death and resurrection. Not knowing what to do with themselves, thinking that their dreams about a wonderful kingdom was over, Peter, joined by some of the others, has returned to his old job of fishing. When Jesus appears to them, true to form, stripped to the waist for pulling in nets, Peter gets so excited that he gets it all wrong once again. We are told that he puts his clothes on before jumping into the water!

After serving them breakfast on the beach from the fish they had just caught, Jesus begins to question Peter, giving him a chance to take back his three-time denial. You can just imagine Peter squirming with embarrassment as Jesus teasingly asks him three times whether he loved him.

This story reminds us that it is hard to forgive others when they have disappointed and hurt us, but accepting forgiveness from others and forgiving ourselves when we have hurt and disappointed others is often just as difficult. Here Peter and Judas have a lot to teach us.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus. Judas was a traitor, turning Jesus into those who killed him. Peter failed to stand by Jesus, pretending that he had never even known him. Both later regretted their sins, but there is a big difference here.

Judas could not forgive himself and committed suicide. Jesus, I am convinced would have forgiven Judas, but Judas never gave Jesus the chance and went down in history as a villain. Peter, on the other hand, accepted Jesus forgiveness and came to forgive himself, going down in history as a saint.

My friends, have you ever done some awful, hurtful thing to someone you love?  Many people have and have spent the rest of their lives in regret, unable to forgive themselves: maybe their parents or their children, maybe a spouse or a close friend, maybe a co-worker or neighbor. Have you ever done something stupid to hurt yourself?  Many people have and have spent the rest of their lives unable to forgive themselves: maybe they have lost their life-savings in compulsive gambling, maybe they have ruined their marriage because of infidelity or an addiction or maybe they have killed someone while driving intoxicated or with a gun in rage. Burdened with their inability to forgive themselves, their lives are often stuck in a cycle of destructive self-hatred. Some even kill themselves, little by little, with drugs and alcohol. Sometimes, to relieve the pain of regret, they are driven to take a gun and kill themselves or, like Judas, hang themselves in their garage.

Peter reminds us that there is another way: we can forgive ourselves by accepting God’s forgiveness. With God’s forgiveness, we can go on and make a new start.

Sometimes, like Peter, those who fail the most and have the most to be forgiven for, are those who come to appreciate God’s forgiveness and mercy the most. I know this to be a fact. I have spent my 49 years as a priest focusing my preaching, not on those who are the “older son types,” those who never seem to fail at anything, but on the “prodigal son types,” those who have failed miserably and know it.  I have seen the message of God’s unconditional love and forgiveness almost magically transform the lives of those who can accept it. I have seen many miserable failures, like Peter, go on and become some of the best Catholics of all!

My friends, we have all failed as disciples, but the important thing is that we recover like Peter, rather than follow Judas, who could neither forgive himself nor accept God’s forgiveness.