F-E-A-R = FANTASY EVENTS APPEARING REAL

Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

John 14:23-29

Fear has been a very powerful force in my life, such a powerful force that I was driven to write a book about how I have dealt with it so I could lay it all out once and for all and take a good look at it. It was published last September. It was entitled Between Courage and Cowardice: Choosing to Hard Things for Your Own Good. It is an autobiography that traces the personal battle that I have waged against the fears that have dominated my life from age six to the present time and how I have, or have not, chosen to stand up to them.  It is a book that I had always wanted to write, but one I was actually afraid to write.  I almost gave up on it several times in the process. It was like getting lost in tall weeds. To get it done, I had to once again stand up to my own fear and cowardice and not let them talk me out of it.  

Looking back over my life in such an intense way, I realize that even today I am still battling my fears.  Finding myself standing between courage and cowardice all the time, I still need to push myself to choose doing the hard thing, rather than the easy thing, for my own good. It still happens after all these years. I get on a plane by myself heading out to some far-flung diocese to face hundreds of priests and bishops and realize that I am overcome with fear and doubt – fear of rejection and doubt about my capabilities.

Even though I haven’t had a disaster yet, on the contrary appreciative acceptance, I have the need to talk myself up and my demons down every time I take off on another speaking trip.  I can still remember being paralyzed by the same fear and doubt before opening the box my first published book arrived in – fear of rejection and doubt about my ability.

Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

I have come to believe that many people never become all they can be because of two things. (1) They are intimidated by the judging voices of others. (2) They are intimidated by their own self-doubting voice.  Both voices say basically the same thing. “Who are you to do such and such? Who do you think you are, anyway?   If these demons are not slain, we will end up “settling” for a life marked by dullness. Angelina Jolie said this, "If you ask people what they've always wanted to do, most people haven't done it. That breaks my heart."

I have learned the hard way that the secret to a rich and full life is to face your fears, stand up to your own cowardice and do hard things for your own good. What I have learned from years of doing that is that you end up amazed at the great things that can happen to you, if you do!

Another thing I have learned is that it takes an amazing amount of concentration of the will to overcome embedded negative messages from childhood, but with dedicated practice it is indeed possible to overcome even emotional abuse and psychological neglect.  I believe I am where I am today because of my determination to not allow fear and doubt control me. I am very happy that, with God’s grace and the help of good friends, I have been somewhat successful! 

The third thing I have learned is that there is wisdom out there about overcoming fear and self-doubt that others can share with us. As you know, I collect motivational quotes and I regularly share some of my favorites on this subject on my blog and in my homilies in hopes that you can learn from them as well.

Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

Fear probably defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. I once read that F-E-A-R stands for “fantasy events appearing real.” I read somewhere that, statistically, about 90% of the things we worry about never happen, so Jesus was right, “fear is useless, what is needed is trust.” How we handle fear determines whether we experience adventure or whether we are limited by the fear of it. Without scary, we don’t get to be brave!

I would say that my life has been enriched every time I have gotten up the guts to look fear in the face and say “No, you are not going to run my life! I may fail, I may get hurt, I may be laughed at, but again I might not, so be gone!”

Fellow believers! These words are spoken to all of us today by Jesus himself. "Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” So I say to you, “Do not listen to the discounting voices of those who do not believe in you! Do not listen to that discounting voice in your own head that does not believe in you! Tell them both to shut up and listen instead to God’s encouraging voice in your own heart – that tiny whispering voice that gets drowned out by the noise of the world – that tiny whispering voice that you may not be able to hear because of the noisy, negative self-talk that goes on in your own head – that tiny whispering voice of God who is telling you not to fear, but to be strong! Take it from one who has been there! God has great plans for you – he wants to take you to places you cannot even imagine for yourself! Do not let fear hold you back from becoming who you really are and all that you can be!”

Henry Ford may have said it so well when he said, “Those who think they can and those who think they can’t are both right!”

Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.