"YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP" #23

 

MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY

Funerals are often more memorable than weddings. Some funerals are more memorable than others. There is one I will never forget for a couple of reasons. I call it "The Big Stand-Off Funeral." I can't even remember who's funeral it was or some of the details, but I certainly remember a couple of "stand off" events that occurred at that funeral. 

I would love to get my hands on the priest who first allowed family members and friends to give "funeral eulogies" after communion! It has gotten completely out of hand. Many of the people who are asked to do it cannot handle public speaking because of choking up or nervousness, because they have no sense of time and because they say things that are inappropriate.

At this funeral, there were multiple people lined up to give "eulogies" which extended the service by @ 45 extra minutes. Even though they were told to "keep them short," they didn't! One of them even bragged at the beginning of his 20 minute "eulogy" that he was told to "keep it short," but said, "I am going to talk as long as I want because he (the deceased) deserved it!" 

The funeral started a little after 10:00 as we waited for the casket to arrive. The several "eulogies" took much longer than expected, which meant the funeral service was impinging on the next Mass which was to start at 12:00. By the time I came down the isle, at the end of the funeral, I met the pastor, fully-dressed to start the next Mass, standing there fuming in anger! It surprised me because he was known for his patience.

We both stood there in the back of church waiting and waving for the family to come out, but they would not budge from their pew. Slowly, it dawned on the two of us priests that we were actually watching a "stand off." The family had demanded that the organist and choir play and sing the "Notre Dame Fight Song" as exit music. The deceased was, no doubt, a University of Notre Dame Alumni and fan. The organist and the choir director refused to play the song. Neither would budge or change their minds. The family refused to come out of their pew and the organist and choir refused to play and sing the song! 

To this day, I can't remember who won the "stand off," but I suspect the choir director won! He probably didn't have the music. I also doubt whether the organist and choir got their stipends unless it was required "in advance!"