I love stories about great saints who get so fed up with God that they finally “let him have it!” One of my favorite stories is about St. Theresa of Avila, maybe the greatest female mystic of our church.
She traveled around Spain trying to reform the convents of her order that badly needed renewal. It was her practice to go to the chapel before one of these long and arduous trips to pray for a safe trip. After one such trip, when everything that could go wrong did go wrong, she stormed into the chapel and yelled, “Listen, God, if this is the way you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few.”
Jeremiah was called, against his will, to be a prophet. He tried to beg off, telling God he was too young, too inexperienced and totally unable to speak in public.
God would not accept his excuses. He reluctantly said "yes." His prophetic preaching evoked deadly hostility. He was put in stocks, he was tried for blasphemy and he was imprisoned for desertion. He was even thrown into a well and left to die by his own relatives.
Jeremiah grew not just tired of the abuse, he steamed with frustration. “Listen, God, you sweet-talked me into this job and then you abandoned me. I am a laughing stock. Your message has brought me nothing but ridicule and rejection all day long. I don’t even want to mention your name any more. I’m fed up. I’m finished. I’m out of here.”
Then comes that famous “but” in his prayer. “I am furious with you on one hand, but then on the other hand your message is like a fire burning in my heart. It is imprisoned in my bones. I can’t help myself. I couldn’t quit if I wanted to.”
Who hasn’t wanted to quit – quit the church, quit one's marriage, quit one's job or even quit being a parent?
It is easy to be ordained, fun to go through a first Mass, exciting to get your first parish. However, one doesn’t really decide to be a priest until he has survived at least one of those dark moments when almost nothing about priesthood seems fun any more. It is then that one really chooses priesthood.
It is easy to commit to a wedding, when you are in love and when everything is exciting. However, one really makes the decision to be married when the honeymoon is over, when one survives a crisis in their marriage. It is then that they either commit or run.
As Jeremiah discovered, you don’t answer a call once, but over and over and over again. You don’t just say “I do” once, but “I do” again and again, especially in those dark and confusing times.
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