"YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP" #31

 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A SENIOR TO HAVE A "SENIOR MOMENT"

"A Senior Moment" is an instance of momentary forgetfulness or confusion that is attributed to the aging process. I am having more of them, but I have had them throughout my life. As I have gotten older, I do not think of them as signs of the onset of dementia, but rather my "computer" is so full that it takes some time to "search" for the information.

I guess the worst case of my having a "senior moment" was at a wedding when I was a young priest in Somerset, Kentucky. I had known Joe and Linda for two or three years so I was used to always saying "Joe and Linda" together. However, they "broke up" and Joe started dating Lois. Joe an Lois came to see me one day to see about getting married. I agreed. However, in a "senior moment" during the wedding itself I called the new bride by the old girl friend's name! "Joe, do you take Linda to be your wife?" The congregation, realizing instantly what I had done and why I had done it, erupted in laughter. I clumsily corrected myself, but it was too late! I had to wait till the laughter stopped. Thank God, Lois forgave me!

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Another case of my having a "senior moment" happened a few years later in Monticello, Kentucky. We had developed a practice of praying for one family by name each Sunday and would ask them to "bring up the gifts." When it came time for the petitions, I would make them up on the spot. It was the Adams family's turn. When I got to the petitions, what I wanted to say was, "Let is pray today for all the families of the parish, especially for the Adams family." What I actually said was, "Let us pray for all the families of the parish except the Adams family." What made it worse was that I did not realize that I had just had a "senior moment" until the end of Mass when people started to tease me with questions like, "What's wrong with the Adams family?"

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Now that I am officially a "senior," it seems to me that I have a "right" to "senior moments" and I have reached the point that I don't even try to hide them. Last year, I was "filling in" at St. Frances of Rome Church, St. Leonard Church and a few other places. In the Eucharistic Prayer, I always insert the name of the patron saint of the parish in which I am presiding. I was presiding at St. Frances of Rome Church one Sunday when I had one of those "senior moments." When I got to the place where I mention their patron saint, I went blank. I stuttered and stammered for a few seconds. Realizing I was having a "senior moment," I stopped, looked out at the congregation and asked, "Where am I?" They laughed and shouted, "St. Frances of Rome!" I thanked them, added St. Frances of Rome to the list of saints and proceeded with Mass!