THERE IS NO RESCUE PARTY OUT LOOKING FOR YOU!

 The Very Place I Learned the Most Important Lesson of My Life

An Old Story Worth Repeating 

It was the spring of 1966. I was standing on that fire escape grid (outside the door in the bottom left corner) with a fellow classmate, Pat Murphy from Indianapolis. Maybe we were getting some fresh air between classes and sharing our feelings about some of the expectations of "seminary culture" in which we were living. The seminary staff was expecting me to "develop my  talents." I was no doubt, sharing something about my doubts about my having any talents.  

Back then, I was not a happy person. I was hoping that the world would change so I could be happy.  I was extremely bashful. I voided meeting new people or allowing myself from getting into unfamiliar situations. I was what George Bernard Shaw called "a feverish little clod of grievances and ailments, complaining that the world would not dedicate itself to making me happy." Yes, I was waiting for "a rescue party to come and save me!" As the leadership guru, Tom Peters, put it: "Unless you walk into the unknown, the odds of making a profound difference in your life are pretty low." 

In what had to be a great moment of grace, an impulse gift from God, I suddenly blurted out, "Pat, I am so sick and tired of being bashful, backward and scared of life that I am going to do something about it even if it kills me!" I realized then that it was up to me to "grab the bull by the horns." 

I was shocked by the words that came out of my own mouth. But from that moment on, I have been standing up to the coward in me. I have been deliberately “slaying dragons” and “confronting demons,” in my head and on my path, ever since. I would not be where I am today if that particular great “moment of grace” had not happened and if I had not responded enthusiastically. I decided that day not to indulge my resistance to personal and spiritual growth anymore. That day, on that fire escape, I made my first conscious decision to enter the world of personal growth and deliberate living. How appropriate and symbolic that the decision was made on a “fire escape.” 

That day, on that fire escape, I finally learned a fundamental principle of personal and spiritual growth – fear and pain cannot be used as excuses for backing-off from life. I have come to understand that pain serves a purpose. Pain captures our attention and lets us know that change is necessary. Pain signals that it is time to move on and learn new behaviors. Unfortunately, many of us sabotage the possibility of growth by denying, numbing or backing away from such pain. 

Some may call these turning points or pivotal moments, “luck” or “an opportunity coming from nowhere,” but as a believer, I would call them “moments of grace.” "Grace" is “unmerited divine assistance given to human beings for their regeneration.” Even so, those “moments of grace” have two parts. One part has nothing to do with us personally. It is a spontaneous gift from God that shows up when it shows up. we cannot create it, capture it or force it to happen. The second part has everything to do with us personally. It has to do with our cooperation, our ability to seize the moment and step up to the plate in doing our part to see where it takes us if we follow its invitation. 

We all have “moments of grace” when unmerited divine assistance is offered to us for our growth as human persons. In sharing my “moment of grace,” let it be known that it is not unique to me. My hope is that my sharing of it with others, it will trigger an awareness of their own “moments of grace” and how they have, or have not, cooperated with them in enriching their own lives. 

My fire escape moment was most significant for me for this reason. I was raised to believe that “life is something that happens to you and all you can do is make the most of it.” I was taught to be grateful for what I had even when it was not the best life God had to offer me. Thomas Merton was right on target when he said, “The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.” I have always wondered how my life might have unfolded if I had responded differently to that moment of grace. I realize now that I was not entirely aware of the full implications of what I was choosing in that moment. I do know, however, that I am "still working my program," a program I started with baby-steps back in 1966 and gradually took more and more courageous steps over the years!