BEING QUIET ENOUGH, YOU MAY HEAR YOUR ANSWERS

          

Rising very early before dawn, he left and

went off to a deserted place, where he prayed.

Mark 1:29-39

 

When I was a young boy, we lived across the road from my grandparents. We simply ran back and forth all day, as if we had a home and a branch office across the road. One of the things I remember clearly is going in the front door of their house after dark, knowing they would be sitting side-by-side in the dark in their rocking chairs.

They sat down in their rocking chairs after supper and, even though the sun had gone down and it had gotten dark, they didn’t bother to turn on a lamp. They just sat there in silence, rocking. I always knew where my grandfather was sitting because I could see the red dot of his unfiltered Camel cigarette glowing in the dark. It never crossed my mind whether they thought my arrival was a nuisance or a relief. I guess I thought I was doing them a favor barging in uninvited and relieving them of the quiet!

I read somewhere that couples who can enjoy their time together in silence will always stay together. A child, however, probably cannot imagine anyone enjoying silence.

Today we read about Jesus getting up early in the morning to go off by himself for some quiet prayer time. Notice some of the things it says right before he got up early, before dawn, to be by himself in silence. “Everybody was looking for him.” “The whole town was gathered at the door.” “They brought to him all who were sick or possessed.” “He cured many of the sick and drove out their demons.” After all that, it says he rests, prays for direction and then moves on to another town to minister to the people there.

This is the pace and pattern of Jesus’ ministry – frantic activity, withdrawal and rest, prayer for clarity and then back to work! We see it here and we see it again and again in his ministry. In chapter six, after an especially busy time, it says that Jesus took his apostles to a deserted place to rest and pray before going back to work. It says, “People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity even to eat!”

For many people today, this kind of silence can be downright scary. There is a term for it – "sadatephobia" - fear of silence. This “fear of silence” was relatively unheard of fifty years ago, but today psychotherapists are seeing large numbers of individuals with can't handle silence and they believe the numbers will continue to rise in the coming decades. Many experts believe that technology has given rise to the constant need for sound, therefore producing a greater number of people suffering from "sadatephobia."

My problem is the opposite. I am among a few who suffer from a condition called “misophonia,” "hatred of noise" (also known as selective sound sensitivity syndrome,) in which negative emotions, thoughts, and physical reactions are triggered by specific sounds. Fingernails on a blackboard is only one of many sounds that send people like me up the wall. Several years ago, because of a NIGHTLINE program about people who suffer from misophonia, I finally realized that there are many of us who “manage” this condition by avoiding occasions where certain sounds will occur. Watching that program, I literally came out of my chair yelling, “I’m not the only one! I am not just imagining this!” The condition was only recognized by the medical community around the year 2000. Even my doctors were skeptical. Most had never heard of it. Now it's talked about a lot. Amazon has over a dozen books on the subject of misophonia, the hatred of noise.

For many more people, not just the young anymore, it is impossible to sit in a quiet room for even a few minutes without noise - smart phones, head phones, blaring music on the car radio, having the TV on even when no one is watching it or even the noise of traffic blaring around them. Newer restaurants, I believe, are deliberately designed to encourage noise. As a result, a parallel market for gadgets that drown out noise is also booming: noise cancelling earbuds, white noise machines, noise reducing triple pane windows and the like.

I have suspected for a long time now that there is, as well, a connection between the noise level of today's world and the loss of our sense of the divine. Simply put, it seems to me that the world is so noisy today that even God can’t get a word in edgewise! As the old Chinese proverb puts it, “Outside noisy, inside empty.”

There is a beautiful moment in the Bible when the prophet Elijah feels God’s presence. The Scriptures say that a powerful wind tore the mountains apart, but God was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. It was the whisper of God. God doesn’t yell, he whispers. Maybe that is why we can’t hear him all that well these days.

Silence today is looked on as odd, something to be avoided at all cost. In reality, it may be dangerous to do without it. “We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly - spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.” (Susan L. Taylor).

The noisy world of social media, constantly being bombarded with external stimulation, seems to be having a detrimental impact especially on the young. Teens’ use of electronic devices including smartphones for at least five hours daily more than doubled, from 8 percent in 2009 to 19 percent in 2015. These teens were 70 percent more likely to have suicidal thoughts or actions than those who reported one hour of daily use.

In 2015, 36 percent of all teens reported feeling desperately sad or hopeless, or thinking about, planning or attempting suicide, up from 32 percent in 2009. For girls, the rates were higher — 45 percent in 2015 versus 40 percent in 2009.

In 2009, 58 percent of 12th-grade girls used social media every day or nearly every day; by 2015, 87 percent used social media every day or nearly every day. They were 14 percent more likely to be depressed than those who used social media less frequently. All that information is nine years old. By now it is probably even much worse.

Besides avoiding quiet at all costs, several years ago we dumped the idea that we need to honor the third commandment that tells us that we should stop every seventh day to rest and pray. Thinking that the whole idea of regular day of rest was outdated, thinking that we know better than God, we created the endless-loop workweek. Now we are dealing with the results of such arrogance: stress related diseases, alienation among spouses and children and the rise of the drug culture to kill the pain and to help us sleep. Thinking that the whole idea of a regular day of prayer was outdated, thinking that we can do without God’s guidance and input, we replaced regular prayer time with recreation, shopping, more work and, yes, noise, noise, noise. God only knows how many Catholics will skip Mass next Sunday to get things set-up for the Super Bowl, an annual “holy day” of screaming and yelling! Those of us who could care less and would rather be a hundred miles away from all of it, are looked down on as “pathetic introverts.”

Is it a sin not to observe the Sabbath, not to rest and pray with the community once a week, like they used to say it was many years ago? After thinking about it to some length, I believe it is! Does it hurt God not to observe the Sabbath? Yes, but only because God loves us and not resting and praying hurts us! God gave us the third commandment, not because he needs our worship and he needs rest, but because we need to express our gratitude and we need to rest, because we need to quieten down and listen for God’s direction in prayer before we go back into our frantic lives on Monday and because we need to spend some quiet “down time,” on a regular basis, with our families and friends. When I was a kid, Sundays were about going to church, having a big family dinner and visiting relatives - that was it! Maybe we weren't so dumb after all!

The world tells us that the secret to success is to do more and more. God tells us that the secret to success is to sometimes do less. Who are you listening to?

 

 

 

USEFUL WISDOM FOR 2024 #5

You hear people complaining about the present day and age because things were so much better in former times. I wonder what would happen if they could be taken back to the days of their ancestors - would we not still hear them complaining? You may think past ages were good, but it is only because you are not living in them. 

St. Augustine of Hippo

DEVELOP THE HABIT OF THINKING BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN!

 

As you may have read in this blog, I volunteer to help out with Masses down the street at St. Joseph Home for the Aged operated by the Little Sisters of the Poor, behind Audubon Hospital. Under Mother Paul, the previous Mother of that Community here in Louisville, I was designated the Official Confessor for the Sacrament of Reconciliation as well.  

It may be my imagination, it may be my advancing old age, but it seems like the whole world in on edge, ready to bite somebody's head of, pull a gun on them in a road rage event, attack somebody on a plane or just complain about how waiters, clerks and service personnel are not fast enough or attentive enough to quickly wait on them! 

One of the things I have learned working in a nursing home is that almost everything is slower: getting people seated, getting heard when people can't hear all that well, eating a meal, readers coming up to the pulpit to read the Scriptures, getting people ready for a doctor's appointment and almost everything else! 

The thing that I have noticed most of all is how much patience it takes by the staff to work there, whether it be from the Sisters, the paid staff or the volunteers! I am sure that the residents themselves require a lot of patience, after they have pushed the button for help, for that help to arrive!  Amazingly, a place like that should be full of complaints, but surprisingly I don't hear nearly as much as I had expected! 

I have always tried to give the residents I meet as much affirmation and attention as I can when I am there. One of the new things that I am training myself to do is to notice the staff more! It is easy for me to say nice things to the elderly in wheel chairs, but lately I have been making a special effort to do the same thing to the staff person pushing the wheel chair, the janitor mopping the hallway and the receptionist behind the desk!

I have extended this practice to the woman seated near the door as I enter the bank, the grocery employee overseeing the self-check out lanes and the overwhelmed mother pushing her grocery cart to the car - even offering her the bag of cookies in my own cart!

The mystery question of the month is this! Why is it easier to complain and bite someone's head off than it is to show a little compassion and gratitude?    It could just be a  bad habit we have fallen into, but I think it is more! When we are self-focused, it is easier to complain and attack. When we are other-focused, it is easier to show gratitude and compassion. 

This coming Lent, I am going to try my best to become more other-focused than self-focused. I resolve to be on the look-out for individuals who could use a smile, an encouraging word, a pat of the back or an even more sincere "thank you!" It's my small effort to resist the growing present trend to be nasty, mean and short-tempered in public as well as in private. The only way this present trend can be turned around is one person at a time! Join me in this effort. It makes a lot more sense than giving up sweets and can do a world of good for a whole lot of discouraged individuals! 

A PRAYER GARDEN AND SHRINE IN HONOR OF OUR MOMS

THINKING BACK SEVEN YEARS AGO

After working together in an organization we started in the Caribbean Missions, called RJ MISSION PROJECTS, my good friend Jim Patterson II and I took on another project in 2016-2017. He renovated the shrine at Monte Cassino at St. Meinrad Archabbey and Seminary in honor of his mother and I built a prayer garden in the side yard in honor of my mother. 

Mr. Jim Patterson II waving on the right and Fr. Ronald Knott in the outdoor pulpit on the left at the dedication. 

THE NEW PRAYER GARDEN

  

THE SHRINE RESTORATION AND RENOVATION

If you are ever in the area of Saint Meinrad Archabbey, or want to take a nice drive over there, visit the Monte Cassino Shrine and Prayer Garden. 

 

NEEDED: AN ABILITY TO BE PERSUASIVE

 

They came to Capernaum and on the sabbath. Jesus entered the synagogue and taught. The people were astonished at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority and not as the scribes. All were amazed and asked one another, "What is this? A new teaching with authority.

Mark 1:21-28

Among the many religious teachers of his day, Jesus stood out like a sore thumb. I am not talking here about his oratory skills or his ability to understand the Hebrew texts he could read so easily. I am talking about his ability to connect with people and their needs and issues. I am remined of that line in the story of the call of Samuel where it says, “Samuel grew up and the Lord was with him, not permitting any word of his to be without effect.” When we hear the words “Jesus taught them as one having authority and not like the Scribes,” they mean that Jesus had an amazing ability to “connect” to people and his words had “effect.” The Scribes, on the other hand, said all the right words, but their words were as dry as sawdust and they kept missing their mark leaving the people disappointed with their empty words.

When I was teaching at St. Meinrad, I talked a lot about the difference between a “designated spiritual leader” and a “real spiritual leader,” one who speaks “like a Scribe” and one who speaks “with authority like Jesus.” In another words, spiritual leadership involves a lot more than a title, a theology degree or even a valid ordination. It involves the ability to influence people to move from where they are to where God wanted them to be! As St. Gregory the Great wrote so insightfully in his handbook ON PASTORAL CARE, that I used to quote all the time, “Although those who have no knowledge of the power of drugs shrink from presenting themselves as physicians of the flesh, there are those who are utterly ignorant of spiritual precepts but not afraid of professing themselves to be physicians of the heart.” Father Donald Cozzens said so convincingly at the time I was teaching, “The most pressing need facing Catholicism today is the quality of its priestly leadership.” We need to pray for more than just “more” priests, we need to be praying for “more effective” priests – priests with a convincing voice and credible spiritual leadership abilities, like Jesus in today’s gospel!

When I was teaching at St. Meinrad, one of the most fundamental issues I tried to address with them is that simply being a priest (as a noun) is not enough. They needed to know how to priest (as a verb). In other words, a valid ordination is not enough in today’s church. They also need to be effective as priests. They needed to be able to move hearts! As St. Gregory the Great knew, a designated spiritual leader does not mean that one is a real spiritual leader. A Roman collar and a title alone, does not make a real or effective spiritual leader!

This is a vital distinction because I believe that seminaries are still overly focused on a seminarian’s personal piety and not enough on developing effective spiritual leaders for our faith communities. As I liked to joke, their job will not be in having people see golden light come out of their rectories, but in seeing golden light come out of the homes of their parishes. It is not good enough today for them to be pious champions of the “truth,” they must have the skills to lead others to want to accept and live that “truth!”

In that course, I defined “spiritual leadership” as the ability to influence people to move from where they are to where God wants them to be through invitation, persuasion, example and the skillful use of the Church’s rites, rituals and rules. The focus of “spiritual leadership” is on an internal movement to deeper discipleship. That’s exactly what Jesus was able to do from the pulpit in Capernaum in today’s gospel, leaving people delightfully astonished and amazed at his preaching! He did not just spew out facts about God as they were used to hearing from the Scribes!

This idea is confirmed in Scripture in Jesus’ teaching on the “Good Shepherd.” In the Greek text, there are at least two possible words for “good,” agathos and kalos. Agathos means “good” as in “morally good,” while kalos means “good” as in “good at” or “effective at” something. The “Good Shepherd,” in the gospel” is said to be kalos, as in “good at” shepherding. Personal holiness and goodwill alone, in a designated spiritual leader, are not good enough, I don’t care how personally pious and sanctimonious they may appear to be! They must also be able to effect internal change in people if they are to be known as real spiritual leaders. In other words, today’s “good shepherds,” must not only appreciate and value green grass and flowing water and how vicious wolves can be, they must know how to find green grass and flowing water is, how to lead their flocks to it and be able to handle vicious wolves who attempt to decimate the flock! Spiritual leadership is ultimately not about their personal piety, but "know how!"

My friends, there is no doubt that organized religion has lost its ability to impose unquestioned rules on behavior on our people and that one of the most pressing needs facing Catholicism today is the quality of its priestly leadership. No amount of ranting and raving about how we ought to be listened to will change this situation. We simply must get better at our ability to influence and persuade instead of blaming and condemning people for their lack of faith and the culture for its secularism and moral relativism.

My friends, I believe that our people “want their visions lifted to higher sights, their performance to a higher level and their personalities stretched beyond normal limitations.” I believe that our people want to become holy, but they are often left “like sheep without a shepherd.” We need effective spiritual leaders, spiritual leaders who are more like Jesus, and less like the Scribes who were “all bun and no beef” as the old 1984 Wendy’s commercial used to say! More and more Catholics today are asking, “Where’s the beef?”

USEFUL WISDOM FOR 2024 #4

Saint Bernard of Clairvaux

As a searching investigator of the integrity of your own conduct, submit your life to a daily examination. Consider carefully what progress you have made or what ground you have lost.  Strive to know yourself... Place all your faults before your eyes. Come face to face with yourself, as though you were another person, and then weep for your own faults.