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THIRTY-FIVE REFLECTIONS FROM THIS BLOG

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BEING MORE INTENTIONAL ABOUT VERY ORDINARY THINGS - THIRTY-THREE

This is the thirty-third in a series of periodic reflections on the "ordinary things" that many people do on a regular basis without much thought. During this pandemic, I am developing a need to "rage, rage" against haste and laziness and replace it with care and attention. My hope is to become personally more intentional about doing ordinary things with care and focused attention, while inspiring others to maybe do the same.

ITS  REALLY ABOUT ARROGANCE

When it comes to trying to understand the present social unrest and the dramatic upheavals in our world, I try to find the common denominator. It occurred to me the other day, that the common denominator underneath so many of our social problems today is plain old arrogance. Arrogance  is an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. 

When it comes to our present policing problem, it's not about all policemen. Most policemen are probably hard-working and ethical.  It's about the arrogance of a few policemen which has led some of them to be able to literally "get away with murder" in the past.  Get rid of arrogance and you will probably solve the policing problem pretty quickly. 

When it comes to racial tension, it's not about a difference in skin color. Racism at it's core is about arrogance, an arrogance that believes that white people are inherently more intelligent, more honest and more capable than people of color.  Get rid of arrogance and you will probably solve many of the racial tension problems pretty quickly. 

When it comes to women's role in society, it's not about sexual difference.  Sexism is about arrogance, an arrogance that believes that females are inferior to men in intelligence, ability and emotions. Get rid of arrogance and you will solve many of the problems around the unequal treatment of women.  

When it comes to the sexual abuse crisis, it's not about the fact that it exists in the priesthood just as it does in the culture at large. The problem is the arrogance of some churchmen who turned their heads and covered it up to protect their reputations and the institutions they supervise rather than the children and families they are called to serve. Get rid of the arrogance and you will solve much of the present sexual abuse crisis. 

When it comes to corporate greed, it's not about the failure of a free enterprise system, it's about the arrogance of a few business leaders who deliberately put profits ahead of the health and welfare of the community at large, like knowingly selling asbestos-laced baby power that causes cancer.  Get rid of the arrogance and you could probably strengthen the free enterprise system. 

Arrogance has at its root a fixation on "me" instead of "we." Arrogance is a failure to consider the fact that we, as human beings,  live in community and, as members of that community, we are responsible to and for each other! United we stand. Divided we fall. 

SEEING THE BEST AND THE WORST IN PEOPLE

I have said many times during this pandemic that we are seeing the worst and the best of people. 

I just read the story about two young Peoria, Illinois, boys who were robbed at gunpoint by two thugs of their $30.00 in cash at their lemonade stand. When the news got out their neighbors and fellow citizens started a donation campaign that brought in thousands. Even the police chief brought a line of police cars to show support, to buy their lemonade and make donations. 

We are all familiar with crude and rude people who could care less about other people.  Selfish to the bone, they are often loud and proud. They have to be noticed. 

There are people who do care about others and do whatever they can to help. They are magnanimous with their time, their talents and their resources. They are often quiet shining examples of "loving one's neighbors as oneself." They often do it without fanfare, attention or the need for credit.  

WHERE DO YOU STAND?

Do you stand on the side of anger and bitterness?

Do you stand on the side of mercy and encouragement? 

“Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another. Let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.”

Zechariah 7:9-10

SIX MONTHS AND STILL LIVING A NIGHTMARE

I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD LAST THIS LONG

AND IT'S NOT OVER YET

 

 

 

 

BEING MORE INTENTIONAL ABOUT VERY ORDINARY THINGS - THIRTY-TWO

This is the thirty-second in a series of periodic reflections on the "ordinary things" that many people do on a regular basis without much thought. During this pandemic, I am developing a need to "rage, rage" against haste and laziness and replace it with care and attention. My hope is to become personally more intentional about doing ordinary things with care and focused attention, while inspiring others to maybe do the same.

 

 

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his 

glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 19:11

Due to the stresses and losses during the present caronavirus pandemic, many people are experiencing sadness, fear, anxiety and loneliness. As a result many people are feeling angry about their many losses related to jobs, finances, normalcy, routines, cherished activities, the health of self or loved ones, the ability to see friends and family and they are are engaging in a well-known defense mechanism by transferring that anger to the wrong target. Research suggests that after a loss, disbelief and yearning for former days often occur first and then anger follows.

A common way people protect themselves from unpleasant feelings such as anger is by engaging in defense mechanisms. "Displacement" is a defense mechanism in which people transfer emotions from the original source to another person or situation. Because defense mechanisms are subconscious, people don’t often realize they’re taking anger from one situation and blasting it onto another. 

Here are some examples. A person who is angry because they lost their parent may take their anger out on the hospice nurse who took care of her at the end of her life. A man who is mad at his co-worker for putting him down in a meeting, might unload his anger  on a waitress over a small mistake on his lunch order at a restaurant.

During the coronavirus pandemic, we can be mindful that, along with the shock, disbelief and yearning for the way things were, we are all likely to carry a fair degree of anger, and at times it may be unloaded inappropriately onto people or situations with a little extra intensity.

Because many of us are at home all the time, we need to be especially wary of taking out anger on family members, since those are likely the ones we see the most. We can gain awareness of when we may be “displacing anger,” such as snapping at a child for being too noisy while on the phone or yelling loudly at a spouse for not taking the garbage out. 

Extreme examples of displacement may be responsible for some of the surges in domestic violence due to the coronavirus pandemic stay-at-home suggestions and orders. 

Once you understand your anger and where you tend to put it, you can make a conscious effort to deal with those feelings in a healthier manner, such as talking with an honest confident or therapist. Going for a long walk to calm down or working out in your home gym might also do the trick.  

It’s also important to understand when you may be the target of displaced anger, so that you don’t take it to heart when a conflict may be about someone else's displaced grief, not something you did personally. 

 

BEING MORE INTENTIONAL ABOUT VERY ORDINARY THINGS - THIRTY-ONE

This is the thirty-first in a series of periodic reflections on the "ordinary things" that many people do on a regular basis without much thought. During this pandemic, I am developing a need to "rage, rage" against haste and laziness and replace it with care and attention. My hope is to become personally more intentional about doing ordinary things with care and focused attention, while inspiring others to maybe do the same.

IF IT AIN'T MESSY, IT AIN'T REAL

The whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, and the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”

Exodus 16:1

I have never witnessed the actual birth of a child, but from every thing I have heard or seen it is a difficult and messy process. The closest thing I have come to watching the process was the birth of farm animals when I was growing up in the country. Typically, it involved a lot of pain, struggle and noise. Even the hatching of an egg was a life and death struggle for the chick. As I got older, I realized that the process of dying was similar. It often involves a lot of pain, struggle and even noise.  The process of coming to life and leaving life are very similar in that regard. Sometimes, it hard to tell the difference. 

Come to think about it, most change is difficult and messy. It always has been, and I guess it always will be, difficult. My "model" or "pattern," as far as stories go, is the story of the Exodus when the Jewish people were offered the possibility of change - chance to escape slavery and go to their "promised land." The idea of change is usually much more comfortable than the actual change itself. When the People of God set out from Egypt, they were excited and full of hope about the new future that they could see in their minds' eye. 

It did not take long for the pain of change to set in. That pain produced a lot of grumbling, complaining and angry accusations as people began to long for the "good old days" of the past. With selective memory and a desire to escape the pain involved in change, they  wanted to "go back." Moses had to keep prodding them to "keep going forward," to "keep their eye on the prize" and never look back. 

A few years ago, in serious need of reform, our Church faced a similar opportunity for change. Vatican Council II came along and invited us to enter a process of transformation.  I like to compare it to a hatching egg. We woke up one day and noticed that there were fine cracks developing all over the egg. Since then, we have some people running around with tape and ladders insisting that we have to keep it from cracking and "falling part." At the same time, we have some people running around yelling, "stand back, it's hatching, something new is coming out!" I know one thing for sure! The very worst thing you can do when  an egg shell is hatching is to try to tape it back together. You will certainly kill the new life that is coming out of it! All the pain, struggle and noise of the post-Vatican II church is not a sign that we are dying. It's a sign that we are giving birth to new life. 

The same thing is happening in our country. The "times they are a-changin'." The country is in crisis on many fronts. Part of our country is trying to tape it all back together, trying to recover some by-gone days of our 1950s past. Another part of the country, who suffered and were marginalized during those by-gone days, is yelling "stand back and watch it hatch," we are giving birth to a new America.  

The church cannot go back to the stuffy clerical culture of a previous era when the only real players were ordained men. Trying to tape that hatching egg back together is a certain recipe for killing the dynamism that is at the very heart of a living Church. 

The country cannot go back to a racist and sexist culture of a previous era when the only players were old white men. Trying to tape this hatching egg back together simply will not work. The hatching process has begun. Women will be heard. Women will be leaders. Women will be actively involved. Black and brown people will be heard. Black and brown people will be leaders. Black and brown people will be actively involved. 

We are all uncomfortable during these changing times, but what we do with our discomfort is of extreme importance. There is an old Japanese curse that says, "May you live in interesting times!" During these "interesting times" we have a choice. We can (a) join those who are panicking and trying to "go back to Egypt," trying to tape the cracking egg back together and trying to get the "toothpaste back in the tube." We can "(b) join those who are part of coaching the delivery process along as we wait for a "new Church" and a "new America" come to life.