Saturday, April 12, 2025
"YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP" 2025 #15
Thursday, April 10, 2025
THE SIN OF PROJECTION
Tuesday, April 8, 2025
LIVING ALONE AND LOVING IT
Sunday, April 6, 2025
LOOK WHO'S TALKING!
Like many people today, I have had more than one job. I grew up milking cows, feeding chickens, herding pigs and loading lumber. I once loaded semi-trucks at a pickle factory. I have been a groundskeeper at a hospital, an orderly in an emergency room, a house painter, a garbage truck driver, a desk clerk, a bar tender and a campground minister for the United Church of Christ in Crater Lake National Park in Oregon. As a priest, besides being a pastor of several parishes, I used to write for THE RECORD every week for 15 years. I served as one of the trustees on the J. Graham Brown Foundation Board here in Louisville, making large monetary grants to charitable and educational organizations all over the state. I traveled all over this country and nine other countries giving retreats to priests, bishops and seminarians. I was a campus minister at Somerset Community College down in southern Kentucky and here at Bellarmine University. I developed a major continuing education program, did spiritual direction, built a teaching kitchen and coffee shop and taught classes at Saint Meinrad Seminary over in Indiana. I have published a few books, renovated several houses, and in retirement, renovated my old grade school and unused rectory down in Meade County into a new Family Life Center and Guest House. I was a volunteer in the Caribbean Missions for several years. Right now, I am sponsoring a seminarian in Tanzania and trying to finish building a church in Kenya. After all that, you might say that "I've never been able to hold a job!"
One of the last jobs I had over at Saint Meinrad Seminary, before I retired, was to teach two classes a week to the guys who were about to be ordained priests in the spring. That class was entitled "The Transition Out of the Seminary and Into Pastoral Ministry." We covered most of the issues they would face in their first several months. Some have compared their transition out of the seminary and into parishes to that of leaving home, graduating from school, beginning a career, getting married and starting a family - but all at once. Some things we covered were of a very practical nature, like paying taxes and starting a saving plan for retirement, while other things were more psychological like dealing with the grief of going off and leaving their seminary friends after many years and the anxiety of entering a strange new community of people as a new priest.
One of the important subjects we covered was "how to enter a parish." I spoke of things like going in and establishing trust and building a bond with people before they even thought about correcting people from the pulpit. It seemed that some priests just couldn’t wait to get ordained so they could condemn other people’s sins! I spoke specifically about how unwise it is for them to say things in a homily like "you people" and how much better it is to say things like "we sinners." I warned them specifically about obsessing about condemning sexual immorality all the time. In my book, doing that always says more about the people doing the condemning than those they condemn!
This is exactly the issue Jesus dealt with in today's gospel – a bunch of salivating religious fundamentalists who just couldn’t wait to have a poor woman stoned to death for committing adultery! The last time I checked, it takes two to commit adultery. Since the text says she had been “caught in the very act of committing adultery,” I have always wondered where the man was and why they were not as eager to stone him! This story has three scenes. Let's look at them one at a time.
(1)The religious authorities drag a poor woman into an open area where Jesus was teaching and make her stand there humiliated. She had just been caught in adultery. Yes, she was obviously used in the committing of adultery, but the religious authorities were also using her themselves - this time to trap Jesus in his speech so they could have something for which to condemn him! They thought they had a perfect trap because, on one hand, if he was too lenient, they could say "Aha! See! He teaches something different from Moses who told us that such women were to be stoned to death!" That could get him labeled as a heretic. If he were to be in favor of stoning her, then they could say on the other hand, "Aha! See! He is not as merciful and forgiving as he has been saying he is!" That would turn the crowds against him!
(2) In the second scene, Jesus realizes that they are using her to set up a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" trap for him, so he doesn't answer one way or another! Instead, he just stoops down and writes on the ground with his finger. What was he writing? No one knows, but some say he was simply making a list of their sins in the dirt. Once he had written his list of their sins, he stands up and says to those who were so anxious to stone the poor woman, "Let the one among you has never sinned yourself be the first to throw a stone at her!" With that he stooped down again and continued to add to his list of their sins.
(3) Jesus did not have to say much after that because her condemners began to drop their heads, to drop their rocks, and to drop out of the crowd one-by-one. It even says, "They walked away, one by one, beginning with the older ones." I suppose the longer we live, the more sins we commit. This leaves Jesus and the poor woman there alone. He stands up and says to her, "Neither do I condemn you! Go, and don't commit this sin again!"
By saying that, Jesus does not wink at the seriousness of the sin committed, he merely means that we would all be better off if we spent more time being outraged at our own sins and less time being outraged by the sins of others. Rather than focusing on the woman's sin alone, by his actions Jesus simply says that everybody that day was in need of forgiveness. Jesus offered the grace and mercy of God to all equally - scribes, Pharisees, the woman, all who witnessed this event and all of us who have heard it read aloud again today.
Fellow Catholics! Jesus spoke to us often about judging others. He told us not to judge, lest we be judged. He told us not to go around looking for specs of sin in other people eyes when we have a 2 X 4 sticking out of our own and that we need to remove that 2 X 4 first. He told us that the measure we use to measure others will be used to measure us! He told us to forgive and we will be forgiven. He told us that all we can see are externals and only God can see into the heart! Sin is real! Sin is destructive - to ourselves and to others! We need, each of us, to become as outraged about our own sins as we do the sins of others.
When I taught young priests of tomorrow, some of whom were so anxious to get out there and condemn sin, I would tell them a story from my early priesthood that I am reminded of every time I read this gospel. There was a radio preacher in the area where I worked who loved to be on the radio to rant and rave about "sexual promiscuity in our culture today." He even went so far as to host a huge bon fire in front of his church one Saturday where he invited people to bring what he called their “dirty magazines, obscene clothing and other filth." The fire that day was huge. The following Monday, he ran off with the church's teenaged organist! As Shakespeare said. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks!" Personally, I have always preferred how Billy Graham put it when he said, "It's the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge and my job to love."
Fellow Catholics! With what's left
of this Lent, let us examine our own consciences, let us resolve to let go of
our own sinful ways, let us rely on the mercy and compassion of God and let us offer
that same mercy and compassion to our fellow believers who have also sinned!
Saturday, April 5, 2025
"YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP" 2025 #14
MY TIME AS A DESK CLERK, BARTENDER AND WINE STEWARD
In the summer of 1968, when I was working at Crater Lake National Park in Oregon as part of the United Church of Christ's "A Christian Ministry in the National Parks" program for seminary students, I had a paying job in the main Lodge - several paying jobs in fact. My main job was the night desk clerk. Because I was 24 and most of the other student workers were under 21, I was a fill-in for the bartender in the bar and wine steward in the dining room.
As the night desk clerk, I had to check people in who came late, answer the phone for calls from the rooms and be a guard over the front door. There was a "snack rack" at the desk where people could buy late night snacks. I am sure the Lodge lost money on that enterprise because every time I turned my head or got distracted by a phone call, the other student workers would steal candy bars and bags of peanuts and pretzels by the hands full. I never got blamed because I don't think anyone ever took an inventory of the situation.
One night, a couple arrived late for their reservation which they had guaranteed. I helped them take their luggage up the steps (no elevator) to the third floor. I put the key in the door of their room and turned on the lights. I heard a young woman and a young man dive under the covers and yell out it shock! I quickly, turn off the lights and shut the door. I told the couple that I must have read the room number wrongly. I apologized and we went back downstairs and found another room for the night. What actually happened was two of the student workers, thinking the room had not been bought, decided to "occupy" it for their own entertainment! I said nothing and they said nothing the next day!
The only real "disaster" that summer was the night some parents brought their little girl in the front door who had been "slapped" by a bear. She had opened the camper door to go to the nearby bathroom and the light scared a bear who was prowling right outside. The light scared the bear and so he slapped at the light and his claws drew several lines down her neck from her ears to her chest! Her clothes were soaked with blood. Her parents were screaming and holding her out toward me and looking at me to "do something." I really did not know what to do, but call the Park Ranger Station to come get her and take her to the hospital or at least offer first aid! It was so cold that night that the blood had quit flowing from her multiple scratches. The coldness made it coagulate. The Park Rangers got there in a few minutes and took her and her parents away - supposedly to the hospital.
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In the dining room, my job was to filet a cooked trout at the table. I learned how to remove the skeleton of a trout in one piece. Another of my jobs was to open bottles of wine and champagne bottles for special occasions. I knew how to uncork a wine bottle, but I knew nothing about opening champagne bottles. I remember clearly my very first effort at table side. It was the couple's anniversary. I stood near the table, not paying attention to where I was pointing the bottle, easing the cork out with my thumb. All of a sudden the cork came out and hit the woman in her temple with a loud pop! One of the waiters came rushing over to tell me that I needed "to always put a white towel over the cork when opening champagne!" The woman was very gracious about the catastrophe and the man did not insist on suing the Lodge for my mistake, but I learned an important lesson that I remember every time I open a champagne bottle!
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As a bartender, I was what you would call "definitely untrained." I knew so little that I had to read the book discretely placed under the bar and out of sight each time I mixed a drink. People knew I was a student and so sometimes they would tell me what they wanted and how to mix it. I am sure they got more liquor in their drink than I was supposed to pour, but nobody mentioned it out loud.
I especially remember an older woman who sat at the bar on a bar stool so she could talk and enjoy one martini after another. At some point, I thought she was getting to her "limit" so I prepared myself to say "enough!" As she started on the "last" martini I served her, she tried to drink it all with one sweep! She leaned forward at first and then started to lean back, but continued to lean back until she fell completely backwards and onto the floor! She got up, brushed herself off, wiped her lips with a cocktail napkin and said "thank you very much" as she disappeared waddling up the steps to her room!
On my last night as a fill-in bar tender, there was a "tradition" that I did not know about! To celebrate the occasion, bartenders had to consume a famous "Volcano" drink which consisted of a jigger of everything in the bar! I am not much of a drinker, beyond a gin and tonic maybe once a month, but I was not about to break a sacred Crater Lake "tradition." It was a nasty drink, but I did finish it. As I was finishing it, I could feel my limbs going numb so I timed myself to head to my room as soon as I could finish.
I started up the steps. I made it up to the second floor. As I started up the steps to the third floor I was using my hands to reach for the steps until I reached the third floor. By the time I reached the fourth floor, I was on my hands and knees. Having reached the fourth floor where the student workers lived, I crawled down the hallway to my room and pulled myself up by the doorknob and fell into my bed. I don't remember the rest of the night, but I certainly woke up with one gigantic headache the next day!
I found out that day that I had earned the right to have my name engraved on the bar's "hero plaque" for finishing a "Volcano!" I guess you can say that that was the last time I have been called a "traditionalist" - right there in a national park bar back in 1968!
Thursday, April 3, 2025
MY SIX SIBLINGS